Eliza Hartley
Ever sat in the quiet of your solitude and wondered why it feels so isolating?
Actually, we’re wired to be social creatures. That’s probably why being alone can often bring about a deafening sense of loneliness that makes it a struggle for us to enjoy our own company.
So, have you ever found a way to turn your loneliness into blissful solitude? How do you navigate this solo journey and uncover contentment within?
Having faced my own bouts of loneliness and observed others going through it, I’ve put together a list of 7 unexpected ways to tackle loneliness and discover joy in solitude.
If you’ve ever felt lost in your own company, these insights might just light up your path.
1) Embrace mindfulness
In the frantic pace of our daily lives, it’s all too easy to lose ourselves in a flurry of activities and distractions. This constant noise can make solitude feel uncomfortable, even daunting.
But what if you could turn this around? What if you could use your alone time as an opportunity to tune in, rather than tune out?
Mindfulness is the practice of being fully present in the moment, embracing each sensation and thought without judgement. This is not about emptying your mind, but rather filling it with an acute awareness of your surroundings and inner self.
By embracing mindfulness, you can transform your solitude from a source of loneliness into a rich, sensory experience. You’ll begin to notice the subtle details – the comforting warmth of your coffee cup, the rhythmic sound of your breathing, the soft glow of sunlight filtering through your window.
Suddenly, you’re no longer alone. You’re in a vibrant world teeming with experiences waiting to be discovered. You’re with yourself – and that’s a wonderful company to keep.
Mindfulness practice also comes with a wide range of psychological advantages, according to research findings. It enhances your overall well-being, reduces psychological symptoms and emotional reactions, and improves your ability to control your behavior.
2) Seek out solitude
In a society that often equates being alone with being lonely, it’s easy to fall into the trap of constantly seeking external validation and companionship.
We fear being alone because we’ve been conditioned to see it as a negative state of being.
But there’s a world of difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Loneliness is a state of mind, a feeling of disconnect. Solitude, on the other hand, is a physical state where you’re simply by yourself.
When you deliberately seek out solitude, you challenge the notion that being alone equals loneliness. You give yourself the opportunity to enjoy your own company and appreciate the silence that comes with solitude.
3) Unleash your creativity
Don’t sell yourself short by thinking you’re not creative just because you can’t paint like Van Gogh or write like Hemingway.
Creativity isn’t all about crafting a masterpiece for the world to ooh and aah over. It’s more about expressing yourself, diving into your thoughts and emotions, and making something that’s uniquely yours.
Whether it’s doodling on a piece of paper, crafting a heartfelt poem, or even experimenting with a new recipe in the kitchen, engaging in creative activities can be incredibly therapeutic and healing, according to researchers.
It allows you to connect with yourself on a deeper level and brings a sense of accomplishment and joy that can dispel feelings of loneliness.
The beauty of creativity is that it doesn’t demand perfection – only authenticity.
So the next time you find yourself alone, try tapping into your creative side. You might just find that it’s one of the most fulfilling relationships you’ll ever have.
4) Connect with nature
Nature has a subtle yet profound way of making us feel connected and less alone.
Did you know that trees communicate with each other through complex underground networks, often referred to as the “Wood Wide Web“?
Just like us, they thrive on connection. They share nutrients, send warning signals about environmental threats, and even nurture their young.
This interconnectedness in nature can serve as a beautiful metaphor for our own lives.
By spending time in nature – whether it’s taking a walk in a nearby park, tending to your garden or simply watching the sunset – you can foster a sense of belonging and interconnectedness.
The sense of peace and serenity nature brings can help mitigate feelings of loneliness and infuse your solitude with joy and contentment.
5) Address your inner critic
We all have an inner critic. It’s that nagging voice in our heads that whispers we’re not good enough, that we’re unworthy of love, or that we’re destined to be alone.
But here’s the thing – your inner critic isn’t the embodiment of truth. It’s a concoction of past experiences, fears, and societal pressures.
My advice is: have a heart-to-heart conversation with your inner critic when you’re ready. Acknowledge its presence, but also challenge its negative assertions.
Ask yourself: Are these criticisms based on facts or are they distorted interpretations?
By addressing your inner critic, you can begin to replace self-doubt and loneliness with self-compassion and self-acceptance. You’ll realize it’s okay to be alone, to have flaws, to be human.
6) Practice being alone in public
The idea of being alone in a crowd might seem like a recipe for feeling more isolated. But there’s another way to look at it.
Being alone in public can actually be an empowering experience. It can help you realize that you can be alone without feeling lonely, even in the midst of a bustling crowd.
Start small. Take yourself out for a coffee or a meal. Visit a museum or art gallery.
Go for a walk in the park. Observe the world around you – the sights, the sounds, the rhythm of life unfolding as you sit quietly among it all.
You’ll soon realize that there’s a unique kind of freedom in being able to enjoy your own company amidst others. You’re not dependent on someone else for your happiness.
You’re just you, savoring your solitude amidst the symphony of life happening around you.
7) Develop a routine
When loneliness hits, it’s common to slip into a pattern of aimless hours and endless doomscrolling. Without plans and goals to look forward to, solitude can easily turn into a disheartening void.
This is where developing a routine comes in. A routine is more than just a timetable for your day. It’s a compass that guides you, a framework that provides your day with purpose and direction.
Your routine could include self-care habits like meditation or exercise, hobbies that bring you joy, or even chores that give you a sense of accomplishment. It’s about carving out time for activities that nourish your soul and your well-being.
By following a routine, you give your days a rhythm and a sense of predictability. This can be incredibly comforting, especially when you’re alone.
Understanding the value of solitude
In a world that’s hyper-connected, we’re rarely alone with our thoughts.
We’re constantly bombarded by information, opinions, and distractions. This endless noise can sometimes drown out our inner voices, our authentic selves.
Solitude offers us a respite from this noise. It presents an opportunity to pause, reflect, and reconnect with ourselves. It allows us to journey inward and explore the vast landscape of our minds and hearts.
In solitude, we can engage in a dialogue with ourselves.
We can confront our fears, celebrate our victories, mourn our losses, and dream our dreams. It’s a space where we can be vulnerable and authentic without fear of judgment or criticism.
The journey of reconnecting with ourselves
Embracing solitude provides an opportunity to embark on this journey of self-knowledge.
When we’re alone, we can peel back the layers of our identity, examine our thoughts and feelings, question our beliefs and assumptions. We can confront our fears and insecurities, acknowledge our dreams and desires.
We get to ask ourselves: Who am I when no one’s watching? What do I value the most? What brings me joy? What stirs my soul?
This journey may not always be comfortable. At times, it can be challenging and even unsettling.
But it’s also immensely rewarding. Because as we get to know ourselves better, as we embrace our true nature, we begin to live more authentically. We make choices that align with our values and aspirations. We build relationships that nourish our souls.
And in doing so, we realize that solitude isn’t about isolation or loneliness. It’s about connection – a deep, meaningful connection with ourselves.
