8 unexpected things that happen when you fall in love with your best friend

Your best friend is the person you trust most in this world. It’s the soul that dances on the same wavelength as yours, your minds interconnected like roots of the same tree.

One of the reasons your friendship is so beautiful is that you’re drawn to each other on the basis of who you are as people, not what you look like. Of course, this doesn’t mean you can’t catch feelings further down the road.

But it does mean it was your friend’s mind that captured your attention long before their body did. How freaking wonderful is that?

Once sexuality and romance enter the scene, though, your dynamic takes on a brand new meaning entirely…

Here goes: These are the 8 unexpected things that happen when you fall in love with your best friend.

1) Your friend suddenly smells really good

When I was seventeen, I had a crush on my best friend.

Nothing serious came out of it – the phase blew over a few months down the line and I began to develop romantic feelings for somebody else – but the change in my relationship to him was fascinating. 

The one thing I noticed most was how incredibly good he suddenly smelled.

And no, I’m not talking about that nice aftershave men wear sometimes or the flowery scent that hangs in the air around lots of women out there. One of my friends smells like bubblegum, for example, but that doesn’t mean I fancy her.

This was different. It was the kind of scent that makes you want to bury your head in someone’s neck. And it drove me crazy.

When I googled why my best friend suddenly smelled so freaking amazing, I found out that scent is very important when it comes to sexual attraction. Since I was catching romantic feelings, my hormones reacted in the best way they knew how – by making my bestie smell absolutely incredible.

Thus one of the most unexpected things that happen when you start falling for your best friend.

2) You begin to view their appearance in a new light

I still remember when I looked at my friend and saw him in a new light a few weeks after the whole crush thing started creeping up on me. We were sitting on a bench in a park, and as he was talking about something, I couldn’t help but feel struck by his physical beauty.

It was like a lightning hit me. All of a sudden, I saw details I’d never noticed before – the light freckles on his nose, the way his jaw curved, the visible softness of his hair.

Of course, I’d always known he was physically attractive. But I’d viewed his beauty the way you would a book cover – while aesthetically pleasing, I’d been much more interested in the story hidden inside.

Now, it seemed as if my relationship to him left that psychological plane and touched upon raw physicality. It was no longer just his mind I felt drawn to.

As you can guess, it was a very befuddling experience. But it taught me one thing – sexual attraction can hit you like a train coming out of nowhere, and before you know it, your friend is a little bit more than that.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone – romantic relationships that started as friendships are actually much more common than you might think.

3) You put more effort into your looks

The moment your friend’s looks begin to seem more appealing than ever before, you’re obviously going to try and keep up.

Worry not – I was in the same boat once. Suddenly, I paid much more attention to the clothes I was wearing. I tried new hairstyles. I used more perfume. When my friend looked at me, I felt self-conscious, worried there might be something wrong with my appearance that would put him off.

However, the truth is that your best friend has known you for ages. They’ve seen you at your best and at your worst. They’ve seen you all dolled up one day and in your pajamas the next.

One of the best things about friendships turning into romantic relationships is that you don’t have to pretend you’re someone else. Your friend knows you better than that.

4) Familiar comfort transforms into nervous flutters

Alrighty, let’s move on to my least favorite thing about falling for your best friend – ordinary things that used to feel neutral are now a big deal.

Going to the cinema? Hmm, that kind of has a date vibe, doesn’t it?

Sitting next to each other with your arms touching? You can’t be the only one who feels the electricity, right?

Talking about romance? Why is it suddenly so hard to maintain eye contact without feeling like you’ll die of anxiety, god dammit?

The familiar comfort of spending time in each other’s company has now turned into something new, exciting, and absolutely terrifying.

It’s very annoying, but that’s just what happens. 

All I can say is… enjoy the ride.

5) The pangs of jealousy come like a slap in the face

Remember when you used to discuss your new crushes at length, encouraging each other to ask them out?

Yeah…that stuff is over.

No one likes feeling jealous. It’s a gut-wrenching emotion. But it’s precisely what happens when romantic feelings are thrown into the mix.

You just can’t help but feel possessive over your friend.

You might be telling yourself it’s just because your friendship matters to you and because you don’t want them to have their heart broken by Jacqueline from poetry club, but you’re not kidding anybody.

You feel jealous because you’re hoping your friend is in love with you, too – if not now, then sometime soon, when the time is right.

There’s no way you’re letting Jacqueline get in the way of that.

6) You automatically compare your dates to your BFF

“Hmm. He’s nice but he doesn’t really *get* me like my BFF does.”

“She’s alright I guess, but it’s just not the same as with my best friend.”

Ugh. Once you’re in love with your best friend, your dates can’t stand a chance, no matter how amazing they are. Harry Styles himself might sit right in front of you, and you’ll just  shrug your shoulders and think, “Meh.”

(Okay, maybe that’s a bit of an over-exaggeration. But you get the point.)

The issue is that your best friend has that special place in your heart for a reason. You wouldn’t be besties with just about anyone. This means that once sexual attraction is added into the dynamic, they’ve literally transformed into the person of your wildest dreams.

7) You’re clingier than ever before

Best friends tend to spend a lot of time together, but once you fall in love, your urge to seek out contact multiplies by ten.

You might try to go on a few dates, you might establish some new friendships or join new hobby clubs, but the fact remains that all you *really* want to do is hang out with your friend and stare at their gorgeous face when they’re not looking.

Careful, though. This clinginess can easily get out of control, making you seem overly controlling or possessive, and if your love is unrequited, you’re at a chance of endangering your friendship.

Oh, and speaking of…

8) You’re terrified of destroying your friendship

Ah, yes. Then there’s *that*.

If you confess your love, will your friendship turn to ruin?

And if your love is reciprocated, will your romantic relationship eventually end, tearing your friendship down with it?

It’s surprising just how much fear there is when you fall in love with your best friend.

One thing to remember is that you can’t maintain a friendship that’s partly inauthentic for very long. However, some crushes do go away after a while – that’s exactly what happened to me, after all, and we’re still best friends seven years down the line.

It’s up to you to weigh the pros and cons of your unique circumstances.

And if your friend loves you back, well, then I count that as a win-win situation! You now not only have an amazing best friend but also the best romantic partner you could have wished for.

Enjoy it for what it is. You only live once.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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