Alexandra Plesa
Committing to someone is a big step, and it’s natural to feel uncertain, especially if you’ve been burned in the past.
But just because you’re not 100% sure your significant other is the one doesn’t mean the relationship is destined to fail.
Sometimes, it only indicates that you’re cautious and more inclined to test the waters before diving in at full speed.
Here are 7 undeniable signs you’re in the right relationship, even if you have doubts.
Give it some time, and your skepticism will evaporate.
1) You trust them
You might wonder about your lasting chances as a couple, but there are plenty of things you don’t have to wonder about.
It’s because you trust your partner completely.
You don’t obsess over whether they truly like you because they made their feelings abundantly clear.
When they don’t text back right away, you don’t feel like your anxiety will swallow you whole because you know they would never ghost you.
And when they say they will be somewhere or do something? They keep their word.
Your partner is reliable and makes sure their actions match their words.
If you’ve been navigating the demoralizing landscape that is modern dating lately, you realize how important that is.
Trust is essential and hard to come by.
Don’t take it for granted.
2) You can be yourself around them
I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t have much experience with relationships.
But if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that acting like someone you’re not around your boo is a red flag.
It’s natural to be your best self in the initial stages of the relationship. Perhaps even work a little overtime to make a good impression?
But as the relationship evolves and you become more settled, hiding your true self from your significant other is a huge no-no.
I did it when I was younger and naïve.
I felt the need to mold myself into someone I thought men would find more desirable.
I laughed at bad jokes and acted like my date flirting with other girls wasn’t a big deal.
I pretended to enjoy action movies I found cringe, watched guys play boring video games, and downplayed my smarts so I didn’t seem too threatening.
And it always backfired because I’m as far from cool as they come.
I wasn’t authentic, and the guys felt that.
Now, I express myself freely, without fear of judgment.
If it’s meant to be, he’ll like me just the way I am.
Can you be vulnerable around your partner, knowing they will support and understand you?
Do you feel comfortable discussing your thoughts and emotions with them, both positive and negative?
Do you feel like your partner accepts you just as you are, quirks and all?
Then you’re in the right relationship, regardless of any lingering doubts.
3) You have similar goals
While having common interests can help a relationship thrive, it’s not a must.
What’s imperative, though, is that you and your partner are on the same page regarding long-term objectives.
Perhaps you’re unsure about your partner because they seem too safe or too chaotic.
Maybe they carry extra baggage from previous relationships. Or you don’t have a lot of inside jokes just yet.
Yet, when you talk about the future, you feel connected on a deep level, like you would make a fantastic team.
You want similar things in life, whether that’s settling down and starting a family or traveling the world.
Moreover, you seem to value the same things. Honesty, communication, laughter. The good stuff.
If that’s the case, you’re way more compatible than you give yourselves credit for.
4) You can agree to disagree
Another crucial thing for every healthy, sustainable relationship?
Respect.
You and your boo might have differences, but you can weather them together as long as there’s mutual respect.
When my parents fought as I was growing up, I noticed that neither called the other names.
They would yell, spend hours in separate rooms, and act coldly toward one another until they managed to reach some sort of compromise.
But I never heard them dismiss or belittle each other, not even during their most vicious arguments.
And whenever one parent talked to me about the other, they did so in glowing terms. It didn’t matter if they were experiencing bliss or going through a rough patch.
Mutual respect is a fundamental aspect of any successful partnership, as it ensures that both parties consider each other’s feelings and boundaries no matter what.
Think about the last time you and boo had a conflict. How did it go?
Were you able to navigate it with compassion, or did you end up screaming and insulting each other until the early hours of the morning?
If you picked the first option, you might be in the right relationship after all.
5) You have fun
Building a relationship involves hard work and compromise.
But if the partners are good for each other, it’s also a whole lot of fun.
It’s vital to find pleasure and delight in each other’s company and the things you do together.
While fun is subjective, here are some parameters you can use to assess your relationship:
- You genuinely like to spend time together
- You can sit in comfortable silence and still have a good time
- You aren’t afraid to gently tease each other
- You have hobbies and activities you like to engage in together
I’m no scientist, but I’m pretty sure that relationships in which partners have fun last longer.
If you and your boo spend a lot of time giggling, the relationship can’t be all that wrong, don’t you agree?
6) Your loved ones give them the seal of approval
Your loved ones have your best interest at heart.
If they approve of your partner, there’s definitely more good in your relationship than bad.
Friends and family are usually the first to notice any changes.
They’ll tell you how you’ve been glowing lately, how you seem more relaxed. How, these days, you always have a smile on your face.
(They’ll also roast you mercilessly because that’s what loved ones do; you can’t hold it against them.)
They want you to be happy, so consider opening up to them about your doubts and seeing how they react.
If they tell you to ditch your significant other without hesitation, your doubts might not be unfounded.
But if they encourage you to give the relationship some time because your boo seems like a keeper, follow their advice.
We all have blind spots, and another perspective from someone who knows you well can be invaluable.
7) You’re dying to see what happens next
At the end of the day, you probably know in your gut if the relationship is right for you.
They’re the first person you want to call with good news.
The person who comes over to comfort you when you feel down.
The one who actually likes your flaws and who doesn’t judge you based on your worst days and weakest moments.
They make you feel warm and fuzzy inside.
Even better, you’re excited to see what will happen next.
What other milestones can you celebrate?
What does the future hold?
You’re dying to find out.
Final thoughts
Being in the right relationship can feel like you’re on a rollercoaster, and you never want to get off because you’re having the time of your life.
It can also feel like you’re sitting in a comfortable booth at your favorite diner, and you don’t want to ask for the check yet because you’re enjoying a pleasant post-meal haze.
Each relationship is different because each partner is different.
Don’t let your doubts ruin a good thing.
As long as you recognize the signs above, your love life is on the right track.
