Paul Brian
We all face questions about where we’re headed in life and what it all means.
For one thing you may wonder if you’re truly progressing and becoming a better version of yourself?
How can you tell whether you’re really getting somewhere or not in your quest for personal improvement and growth?
Well, here are the top undeniable signs you’re growing into the best version of yourself.
1) You wake up excited for the day
No amount of personal progress means much if you wake up dreading the day ahead.
That’s why the first of the undeniable signs you’re growing into the best version of yourself is that you wake up feeling pumped about the day ahead.
Even if it’s going to be full of work and stressful things, you’re excited about the challenge and the chance to do things you care about.
When you begin truly valuing yourself and your life, you experience a rise in your sense of wellbeing and motivation.
You want to get the day started. You feel pleasure pouring your first cup of coffee. You are looking forward to the day to come.
2) You have a clear ‘why’
The next of the undeniable signs you’re growing into the best version of yourself is that you have a clear “why” in your life.
In other words, you have a purpose.
Your purpose doesn’t have to be saving the world or reinventing music or technology.
Your purpose may be caring for your family and working hard, or pursuing fitness with your heart and soul and learning how to achieve maximum physical wellness.
The important thing is that your purpose is deeply meaningful to you and motivates you on a daily basis.
When you have a clear “why,” the how becomes much less important. You’ll do what you have to do, and adapt as necessary, because you have a strong desire and motivation to do what you are doing.
3) You’re becoming more self-aware
There’s really no substitute for becoming more self-aware.
When you spend time in introspection and getting to know yourself, none of that time is wasted.
You not only come into greater contact with finding your mission and what motivates you in life, you also come into closer contact with your weaknesses and faults.
You realize a lot more about your talents and strengths, while also practicing self-honesty about your shortcomings and inner conflicts.
The goal of life is to become empowered and in control of yourself so you can follow your purpose and help other people follow theirs.
Self-awareness brings you much closer to that goal and gives you so much more insight into what you’re doing in your daily life and why.
This isn’t about judging yourself or giving yourself ratings, and it’s not about comparing yourself to others.
This is about becoming a keen observer of yourself and how you function.
If you’re becoming more self-aware as time goes by, you’re doing it right!
4) You’re pursuing win-win connections
The next of the undeniable signs you’re growing into the best version of yourself is that you’re pursuing win-win connections.
In business and in your personal life, you’re no longer in the mentality of one-upping or outdoing those around you.
In fact, you’ve started to notice how life is a giant interrelated tapestry that’s all connected.
You’ve started to internalize the immense power of adding value instead of taking it.
This isn’t just some kind of business seminar cliche, you really see it in your life in all aspects.
You become empowered to share your time, energy and expertise and increase success in your life while also bringing more of it to others.
5) You’re not looking for anyone to complete you
The next of the undeniable signs you’re growing into the best version of yourself comes on the romantic and relationship side of the spectrum.
Many of us find ourselves craving for companionship, or in an unsatisfying or toxic relationship we want to get out of.
We may feel alone, unappreciated, misunderstood or disappointed by where life has led us in relationships.
There’s a reason sad songs are so popular!
But one of the biggest signs that you’re getting your love life together is that you no longer have the idea that somebody will come along and complete you.
You already feel complete.
This will often be handed out as advice or something you “should” feel before being with someone, but the truth is this:
Love and romance doesn’t really have rules, that’s why it can be so unpredictable and heartbreaking.
However, when you do start to feel complete in yourself it opens up a whole new avenue of finding love and intimacy, because you’re now truly acting from a place of surplus rather than lack.
You are seeking another whole, not a half to add to your half. And that makes all the difference.
6) Your doubts don’t derail you
Self-doubts are something we all go through and they can come back when we least expect them.
But another of the undeniable signs you’re growing into the best version of yourself is that your doubts no longer derail you.
Taking a new job, having relationship issues, feeling lost in life?
The inner monologue may start to go over a similar victim narrative or story of your life being a failure, but you no longer truly buy into it.
There’s a significant part of you observing any inner doubts and more or less dismissing them:
You consider whether a worry or doubt has any merits, but you don’t let it affect your fundamental sense of self-worth nor do you let doubts be the deciding factor in your choices and future plans.
On a related note:
7) You face rejection without internalizing it
Rejection hurts for everyone. Anyone who downplays that either hasn’t been badly rejected or hasn’t been rejected by a person, job or group that they really valued.
When you care a lot about someone, about a job, about a group or about something you’re trying for, rejection hurts badly.
It acts as a kind of magnifying glass and mirror at the same time.
All the faults you think you have get magnified and if you’re not making real inner progress in your self-confidence it can leave you feeling genuinely personally lessened and reduced.
Rejection always hurts.
But one of the biggest undeniable signs you’re growing into the best version of yourself is that even the toughest rejection no longer hits your core inner sense of self-worth.
Even if it leaves you on your knees hurt beyond belief, you never truly doubt your value or who you are.
8) You’re self-actualizing
American psychologist Abraham Maslow famously came up with his pyramid of needs.
It started at the basic needs such as food, water and shelter and worked its way up to things like the need for belonging and a social role and job.
The top of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs is self-actualization.
This is essentially when you realize your potential or are well on the way to realizing it.
It means that you’re living your life to the best of your ability and doing tasks and hobbies that are meaningful to you.
Whether it’s in your career or personal life, self-actualizing means you are becoming all you can be.
For an acorn, self-actualizing is to become an oak tree.
For a thespian who’s always loved acting, self-actualizing is to hear the roar of laughter and applause as he steps out on stage.
For the carpenter, self-actualizing is to drive home that last nail as she sips an ice-cold beer looking out over a completed deck.
There is not “better” or “worse” self-actualization, just different forms of it for different people.
“We all hold different values, desires, and capacities. As a result, self-actualization will manifest itself differently in different people.
“One person may self-actualize through artistic expression, while another will do so by becoming a parent, and yet another by inventing new technologies.”
9) You get positive feedback
The next of the undeniable signs you’re growing into the best version of yourself is that you get positive feedback from those who know you well.
To be sure, we can’t base our self-worth on the responses or reactions of others.
But if your family, friends, partner, colleagues and others are telling you that you’re turning into a very great person, there might be something to it!
One off the cuff remark about “wow you’ve really changed!” or “you’re one of my favorite people!” could be dismissed as somebody just feeling really gregarious.
But if you’re hearing the same kind of very positive feedback from many different people in your life, there most likely is a reason.
And that reason is most likely you and the growth and improvements you’ve been going through.
What is your ‘best version?’
The question that can sometimes leave us confused is to determine what our “best version” is in the first place.
The answer is that it’s the version that brings you fulfillment and empowers you to pursue your purpose and help others pursue theirs and also become empowered.
In other words, your best version is when you are at your most effective, engaged and enthusiastic.
Being your best self isn’t a plateau you reach and then relax back on a chair to bask in perfection: it’s a daily process you go through and practice at, getting slightly more involved and excellent each time.
