7 uncomfortable truths about happiness you need to know

It’s a hard pill to swallow, but happiness isn’t always as simple as it seems.

Sure, we all want it, but there are some uncomfortable truths that come along with the pursuit of joy. Understanding these facts isn’t just about being a killjoy.

It’s about equipping ourselves with knowledge to navigate the ups and downs of life.

In this article, I’m going to share with you seven uncomfortable truths about happiness. Things that might make you squirm a little, but will ultimately help you understand happiness in its entirety.

So buckle up, because we’re about to dive deep into the realities of chasing happiness.

1) Happiness isn’t constant

We often fall into the trap of thinking that once we achieve a certain milestone or goal, we’ll be happy forever.

But life doesn’t work that way.

Happiness ebbs and flows, just like every other emotion. It’s normal to have good days and bad days.

It’s normal to feel ecstatic one moment and then just content the next.

The key is to understand this ebb and flow, rather than chasing an elusive, constant state of happiness.

Accepting this truth can actually lead to a more balanced, contented life. And that, in itself, is a form of happiness.

The sooner we realize that happiness isn’t a permanent state, the sooner we can start fully living in, and appreciating, each moment.

2) Happiness is subjective

A few years back, I decided to leave my high-paying corporate job to pursue freelance writing.

Many people around me couldn’t understand my decision.

They saw the security and status of a corporate job as a benchmark for happiness.

But for me, the freedom to control my own time and creativity brought me joy.

This taught me an important lesson: happiness is highly subjective.

It varies from person to person, based on individual values, experiences, and perceptions.

We often fall into the trap of comparing our happiness to others’.

We see someone else’s life, with their accomplishments and possessions, and think they must be happier.

But remember, their version of happiness might be completely different from yours.

3) Chasing happiness can make you unhappy

Here’s an irony for you: research shows that the more you chase happiness, the less likely you are to actually feel happy.

A study published in the Journal of Positive Psychology found that individuals who value happiness more reported lower levels of well-being, life satisfaction and overall happiness.

Why is that so? It seems that the pressure of constantly trying to achieve a state of happiness can lead to disappointment and stress when reality doesn’t meet our expectations.

Happiness isn’t something you can chase or capture.

It’s more about appreciating the present moment, finding contentment, and understanding that it’s perfectly okay not to feel happy all the time.

4) Happiness doesn’t mean the absence of negative emotions

Here’s a common misconception: being happy means never feeling sad, angry, or afraid. But that’s far from the truth.

Happiness doesn’t mean you’ll never experience negative emotions.

In fact, these emotions are a crucial part of our lives.

They help us understand ourselves better, navigate relationships, and even motivate us to make necessary changes.

Attempting to suppress these feelings in the pursuit of constant happiness can be unhealthy.

It’s more beneficial to allow yourself to feel these emotions, understand them, and then let them pass naturally.

Remember, it’s perfectly okay to feel unhappy sometimes.

It’s part of being human and doesn’t mean you’re any less deserving of happiness in the long run.

5) Happiness isn’t tied to material wealth

Once upon a time, I believed that the more stuff I had, the happier I would be.

So, I worked hard, earned money, and bought the things I thought would make me happy.

But no matter how much I amassed, the happiness was fleeting.

The excitement of a new purchase would fade quickly, and then I’d be off chasing the next thing.

Over time, I realized that while money can provide comfort and security, it doesn’t guarantee happiness.

True joy comes from experiences, relationships, and personal growth.

6) Happiness requires effort

Let’s get real: happiness doesn’t just happen.

It’s not something that you wake up with one day out of the blue. It requires conscious effort, practice, and sometimes, a lot of hard work.

Whether it’s cultivating a positive mindset, practicing gratitude, or taking care of your mental and physical health, nurturing happiness is an active process.

It might involve making tough decisions like cutting off toxic relationships, setting boundaries, or seeking professional help when needed.

According to research from Stanford University, engaging in activities that promote psychological well-being can lead to long-lasting happiness.

This study suggests that personal effort in activities like meditation, exercise, and maintaining social connections significantly contributes to enhanced life satisfaction.

7) Happiness is a journey, not a destination

Perhaps the most important truth to understand about happiness is this: it’s a journey, not a destination.

Happiness isn’t something you arrive at one day and then it’s done.

It’s an ongoing process, filled with ups and downs, good days and bad days.

It’s about finding joy in the little moments, learning to bounce back from setbacks, and understanding yourself better as you navigate through life.

Happiness is a path you walk, not a place you reach.

And every step of that journey, every moment of joy you experience along the way, is precious.

Final thought: Happiness is personal

When it comes to happiness, one size does not fit all.

A quote by philosopher John Stuart Mill perhaps encapsulates this best: “Ask yourself whether you are happy, and you cease to be so.”

It reiterates the fact that the act of scrutinizing our own happiness can often lead to its disappearance.

Keep in mind, happiness is highly subjective and deeply personal.

It ebbs and flows, requires effort, isn’t tied to material wealth or constant positivity, and most importantly, it’s a journey, not a destination.

So as you move forward on your own journey of happiness, keep these truths in mind.

Let them guide you, enlighten you, but above all else – let them help you find your own unique brand of happiness.