Paul Brian
Leading a successful life requires many things:
Dedication, belief in yourself and having a strong purpose all rank right at the top.
But there’s also another crucial part of being successful that many people miss. In fact, countless dreams have been sabotaged and people held back because of this one thing:
They spend time and stay friends with people who drain their energy, resources, focus and well-being.
Here are the types of people you should do your best to stay away from if you want to have a successful and fulfilling life.
1) Professional victims
We’ve all been victimized by life at some point, including some groups and individuals in truly tragic and irrevocable ways.
Victimhood is absolutely real at the individual and collective level.
But those who actively choose to inhabit the victim role are making a conscious decision, and it’s almost always a manipulative decision.
At heart is the calculus: I have been through great pain, thus you must respect all I say and do as I say.
It’s not a logical mindset and it can unfortunately lead to great harm.
If you come across these kinds of people who can’t stop focusing on their victimization, it’s best to avoid them as much as possible.
2) Codependent partners
When it comes to romantic partners and close friends, do your best to avoid codependent people.
Many of us have aspects of codependency, but some have a far greater struggle with this than others.
It usually manifests as an inability to feel well on one’s own and a search for completion in others, and you may experience it as a partner who’s especially distant or extremely clingy.
Both extremes are unhealthy and can lead to a lot of heartbreak, sapping energy and optimism from your life.
If you have codependency issues with a partner that you want to work through that’s great, but do your best to avoid those who display intense codependent traits in the first place.
3) Inconsistent promise-makers
In business, in love, in…almost any context, almost nothing is more frustrating and counterproductive than those who are wildly inconsistent.
If your mechanic tells you he’ll do his best to fix your car within three days and it’s there more than a week later, you have to start asking around for new recommendations.
Sh*t happens, but choosing to do business and associate yourself with people who make promises they don’t keep is a recipe for disaster.
If you want to do well in life, seek out the company of those who mean what they say and walk the walk.
You’ll be a lot better off.
4) Habitual liars and big talkers
Being a charismatic person and great orator is wonderful, but any successful man or woman knows that a silver tongue can also be dangerous.
Beware of those who you have caught in small untruths and who exaggerate a lot:
These people are reckless and will land you in hot water before you know what’s going on.
What initially seem like small red flags in your relationship or work can quickly become horrific emotional minefields as you deal with those who lie all the time and talk nonsense.
5) Emotional exploiters and manipulators
Emotions are powerful forces that can bend all of us to do crazy things sometimes.
Many manipulative people are very much aware of this and love emotions because of how overpowering and absolute they can be:
Pity, happiness, hope, sadness, anger, confusion…
All of these emotions are natural and healthy at times.
But in the hands of the wrong TV preacher, crooked businessman or cheating partner, they can make you putty in their hands.
Twisting your hopes and fears or preying on your confusion, the exploitative individual tries his or her best to take your money, energy and resources.
As soon as you see signs of somebody being like this do not even give them the time of day.
6) Wannabe gurus and spiritual narcissists
Spiritual narcissism is a very real problem, and it goes hand-in-hand with wannabe gurus.
Those who talk about “purifying” their energy and their high vibrations often attend workshops and special programs led by men and women who claim an elite status:
These “gurus” are enlightened, “pure,” on another level. Or so they say.
To get to their “level,” you need to pay: with your mind, your money, sometimes your body…
But if you spend too much time around these kinds of false prophets or New Age narcissists you can quickly catch the same kind of spiritual egotism.
Best to just stay away or find a healthy path to spiritual empowerment instead!
7) Financial freeloaders and con men
A close cousin to sleazy gurus and spiritual narcissists are con men and financial freeloaders.
These can come in the form of girlfriends and boyfriends, colleagues and public figures. They may be unknown or famous, likable or just plain hard to ignore.
But some way or another these types of people get your attention and start to turn the subject to money.
They want your money and promise to give it back after making it grow for you or investing it in some brilliant venture.
8) Reckless and immature people
Reckless and immature folks can be a lot of fun. But their version of fun can quickly lead to some very dangerous life consequences:
Boating accidents, drug overdoses, STDs that are hard to pronounce, crossing the center line in crowded downtown traffic and experiencing just how crunching metal sounds…
You name it:
Reckless people have done it.
If you spend time around adult kids you’ll come to regret it.
Even if they don’t lead to you being physically harmed or maimed, their juvenile attitude and approach to life lessense you and leaves you less clear on your goals and mission in the world.
9) Nihilists and ideological fanatics
Nihilists who have genuinely given up on life or hate life are no fun to hang out with. Their attitude is also infectious in a bad way.
Ideological fanatics are the same. They have such a rigid view of the world that they filter everything through a strict lens.
The result is a boring, clear-cut (and inaccurate) view of reality that ends up limiting your own perspective and holding you back from your potential.
Spending time around those with strong beliefs? Absolutely.
But spending time around those who are obsessed with beliefs beyond reason and beyond being respectful about it? A waste of your time.
10) Addicts and abusive people
Many addicts are suffering from very real trauma, mental health concerns and past abuse.
But spending too much time around addicts who can’t get clean can be a very dangerous proposition, especially if you are trying to get clean.
It’s also very advisable to stay away from abusive people:
If somebody yells at you, demeans you or speaks sarcastically at your expense, this is a person you want to stay away from.
If at all possible, do your best to avoid such people and avoid fighting with them. Don’t let their misery spread to you or become your problem.
