Adrian Volenik
I always believed that you’re the sum of the people you spend your time with. So, if you’re hanging out with people with no dreams or aspirations, chances are you won’t have any, too.
It’s also true that you can’t choose your family, but you can choose your friends.
In order to be your best self and to be more content in life, here are the types of people you should avoid.
1) Users
Users don’t care about you. They’re primarily interested in what they can gain from you.
This could be your time, money, connections, or resources. In return, they’ll give you little or nothing, which will leave you feeling exploited and disappointed.
So, how do you recognize the users? They constantly ask for favors, and they’ll flatter and charm their way to get you to comply.
But above all, they’ll only reach out when they want something from you and disappear straight afterward.
They also don’t show a genuine interest in your well-being, struggles, or accomplishments unless it’s related to their interests.
2) Backstabbers
Another group of people you should avoid are the backstabbers. They pretend to be your friends while secretly undermining you or spreading negative information about you behind your back.
For example, here’s something that happens more often than it should:
Behind your back, a friend starts telling people things about you that aren’t true. Maybe they claim you said or did something you didn’t.
Whatever it is, this kind of behavior can damage your reputation and create awkward situations.
And when you discover their betrayal, you end up hurt and betrayed.
Backstabbing frequently happens at work, too, especially in high-power positions, and it definitely happens a lot in politics.
3) Liars
No one can throw the first stone, really, when it comes to lying, can we? We all do it.
As a parent, if I want to avoid going to a three-year-old’s birthday party every damn weekend, I have to make excuses. What are excuses if not lies?
Still, there’s a difference between these kinds of white lies and serious or regular lies.
Dealing with people who can’t be trusted with the truth results in distrust in your relationships.
You’re trying to build a sandcastle on a shaky foundation – no matter how hard you try, it’s bound to crumble.
And when lies become a regular part of the relationship, it’s tough to have open, honest conversations.
You find yourself second-guessing everything they say, wondering if there’s a hidden agenda or if they’re being genuine.
Think about that for a second.
4) Manipulators
You know those people who always seem to get what they want, but you can’t quite put your finger on how they do it?
Well, they could be manipulators.
They’ve got a bag of tricks to control or exploit others for their own benefit. For instance, they make you feel guilty for not doing what they want, or they use your feelings against you, making it hard to resist their demands.
These people are skilled at hiding their true intentions. They can be charming and convincing, even when they’re up to no good.
They’re wearing a mask, so you don’t see their true face until it’s too late.
Avoid.
5) Gossipers
Imagine you have a friend, let’s call her Sarah, who’s a real gossip. Sarah always has the latest scoop on everyone’s lives. She loves to share juicy details, whether they’re true or not.
Now, picture this: You tell Sarah about something personal. Like the fact, you pee in the shower.
You share a secret, thinking she’ll keep it to herself.
But the next thing you know, it feels like the whole world knows your secret! Sarah has spilled the beans to others, possibly exaggerating or twisting the story.
Next thing you know, you’re banned from the gym and mocked by everyone.
Gossipers thrive on spreading rumors, secrets, or personal information about others.
But the thing is, once you leave the room, how sure can you be that you’re not the topic of their conversation?
6) Energy vampires
Energy vampires are the worst. They’re incredibly emotionally needy and often lack independence.
They continuously need your attention, support, and validation, draining your emotional energy without offering much in return.
It’s like being stuck in a one-sided relationship where you end up feeling emotionally depleted.
I’ve had the “pleasure” of working with such a person for a couple of years, and I can tell you firsthand that it’s no fun, to say the least.
And the worst thing about them? You can’t even escape them. They have zero self-awareness and will follow you around wherever you go.
You try doing number two while someone’s talking to you from the other side of the door.
7) The constant complainer
Think about that friend or coworker who’s always got something to grumble about. It doesn’t matter if it’s a sunny day or a rainy one, they’ll find a way to gripe about the weather.
And when it comes to work, there’s always something wrong, whether it’s the boss, the workload, or the office coffee.
But here’s the thing: when people hate their job, they’ll always find something to complain about.
In fact, I don’t think it’s far-fetched to think that you turn into a complainer the moment you step into work.
It’s tough to stay positive when you’re surrounded by a constant stream of complaints. It can be pretty draining to be around them, and it feels like an uphill battle to keep your own spirits up.
If you’re the constant complainer, simply think about your behavior and stop it. And if you’re surrounded by such people, try limiting your exposure to them.
8) Chronic drama seekers
Drama seekers exaggerate or fabricate issues to make their lives more exciting or to gain attention.
Their need for constant drama leads to unnecessary conflicts, stress, and chaos, making it challenging to have a peaceful and harmonious life.
Within a family, they could be the relative who frequently stirs up tensions during gatherings. This means dredging up old family disputes or causing disagreements over trivial matters.
They often portray themselves as victims in various situations, even when they aren’t. Simply because this victim mentality attracts attention and support from others.
9) Negativity magnets
These people have the ability to find the dark cloud in every silver lining. Their pessimism can turn even the most positive situations into something negative.
Although I can’t really blame people for being negative in today’s world, there should be a measure, don’t you think?
There’s no point in spreading negativity to others all the time. We get it, okay? The world is going crazy, but we don’t need to be constantly reminded of this fact.
Regular exposure to their negativity is an easy way to end up with a pessimistic outlook on life, which is harmful to your overall happiness.
For that reason, you need to avoid them as much as possible.
10) Toxic exes
Many people have had a relationship in the past that was anything but healthy. It was filled with arguments, hurtful words, and constant stress.
Their ex-partner may have been controlling, manipulative, or even abusive. When they finally break up, they hope to move on and find happiness, right?
But here’s the thing: holding on to the memories and emotional baggage from that toxic relationship can weigh you down like a heavy anchor.
Every time you think about your toxic ex or the relationship, you’re adding more weight to your chest.
The scars from that toxic past result in lingering pain and anxiety, and you can’t fully embrace happiness and move on.
11) Jealous types
You know those friends or acquaintances who can’t seem to hide their envy when something good happens to you?
They might not say it out loud, but you can sense their jealousy when you share your achievements or possessions.
When you get a promotion at work, instead of celebrating with you, they make snide remarks or subtly belittle your accomplishment.
It can make you feel like you have to downplay your success around them, which isn’t a good feeling.
I mean, why wouldn’t you celebrate something you worked so hard to get? You earned it!
12) Know-it-alls
Know-it-alls are quick to dismiss other people’s ideas and opinions in favor of their own.
Their arrogance and unwillingness to consider alternative views make interactions with them frustrating and unproductive.
I should know – I am one!
It’s not my proudest thing, but it is what it is. Have I lost friends because of it? Hardly.
But I’m aware that I can be too much at times and try to dial it down, okay?
Final thoughts
Ultimately, we can’t avoid everyone who has an annoying fault in their character, can we?
But if you think your friend, colleague, or even a family member is having too much of a negative and harmful effect on you, you should probably try to avoid them as much as possible.
In the end, it might be best to cut ties altogether.
