For your own personal growth and well-being, it’s good to reevaluate the people you surround yourself with from time to time.
Who is holding you back? Who is constantly jealous of your success?
This process can be tough. I know, because I’ve gone through it a couple of times.
But one thing that gives me hope is knowing that for every toxic person I cut out, I’m making space for someone more positive and caring to fill.
So, without further ado, here are 7 types of people you need to leave behind (for your own good):
1) People who constantly criticize you
We’ve all got that one friend or family member who constantly finds things to criticize….
Either your hair is too short or too long. You’ve gained weight or you’re not eating enough. And why, for the love of god, did you think that sweater was a good idea?
People like this tend to be very insecure. They criticize you to make themselves feel better about their own lives.
But hang out with someone like this for long enough and you’ll end up being insecure too.
Surround yourself with people who give constructive feedback instead. People who actually care about your happiness and well-being. You’ll quickly notice the improvement in your mood and mental health!
2) People who are never happy for you
At a family get-together the other day, my sister-in-law announced her engagement to her boyfriend, who is also the father of their 8-month-old baby.
I already knew about it, so I didn’t react straight away, instead letting the family take priority.
However…things didn’t quite go to plan. There was complete silence. You could hear someone’s stomach grumble and the baby sucking his dummy.
Long story short, they never received a “congratulations” or a “so happy for you guys!”
Even though it’s family, I’d advise my sis-in-law to keep her distance, because they clearly weren’t happy for her!
And that stands for you too.
People who pull a face or look for negatives whenever you have good news don’t deserve a place in your life. Unfortunately, it’s a sign of the next point:
3) People who are jealous of you
Usually, if someone is never happy for you, it’s because they’re jealous or resentful.
And for your own good, you should limit time with such people or cut them off completely.
Jealous people don’t see much further than their own unhappiness. And quite often, they’ll do whatever they can to sabotage your success or happiness.
You may even feel guilty when good things happen to you, just because of their reaction.
Unfortunately, I’ve experienced this within my own family – growing up I was forever hurt by their snide remarks or belittling of my achievements.
But since moving away and cutting contact, I actually feel safe and content. Proud of myself. And not worrying about what other people will say or think.
You can achieve the same.
4) People who gossip behind your back
Want to know the quickest way to lose trust in everyone around you?
Hang out with a gossiper.
People like this won’t think twice about spreading lies, embellishing stories, or creating drama just for the buzz of it.
But the worst part is, they can end up making you feel like the center of a crazy conspiracy theory with everyone out to get you.
That’s because gossipers rarely own up to their wrongdoings. They’ll blame everyone else first.
And where does that leave you? The center of chaos, not sure who you can trust or believe anymore.
So, I think it’s pretty obvious the damage that can come from keeping someone like this in your life – run for the hills as soon as you can!
5) People who drain your energy
Twice I’ve made the mistake of making friends with an energy vampire. I’ve learned my lesson now but at the cost of my patience, energy, and sometimes, sanity.
Energy vampires will cling to you, feeding from any positivity you have and turning it into something negative.
They love to complain about their lives. They whine about everyday problems as if it’s the end of the world. And they expect you to listen to them for hours and hours.
If there’s someone coming to mind, consider this:
- Do you feel drained after hanging out with them?
- Do you rarely get a chance to talk or share your own news?
- Are they constantly the victim in every situation?
If the answer is “yes” to all, you’ve got an energy drainer in your life. Cut them out immediately.
That might sound harsh, but having someone like that around is so detrimental to your mental health. Not to mention, they don’t really care about you anyway – everything centers around them.
6) People who are manipulative
Ever had a friend that never takes no for an answer?
They’ll guilt trip you, try to get sympathy, negotiate, or even emotionally blackmail you.
Let’s say you’re exhausted after a busy week and all you want to do is relax at home. But your friend keeps insisting that you go out with her.
Completely ignoring the fact that you’re tired, she might say something like, “If you really loved me you’d come along,” or “A good friend wouldn’t leave me bored on a Friday night!”
Actually, a good friend would respect her friend’s emotional and physical needs!
You need to leave people like this behind because they’re not looking out for you. They don’t have your best interests at heart.
And make no mistake – their manipulation and guilt-tripping tactics are toxic.
7) People who resist change
And finally, you need to leave behind people who resist change. Because those very people will hold you back when it comes to your self-development.
They’ll discourage you from taking risks. They’ll talk you out of moving forward in life.
And 99% of that comes from their own fear or insecurity. Or because they feel threatened by the changes you’re making – you’re no longer the “comfortable” safe friend they once had.
But that’s a good thing!
We’re meant to evolve and change, not stay stuck in one place.
That’s why whenever someone from my past says to me, “You’ve changed so much,” I take it as a compliment and think, “Thank god!”
But I know it can be hard to cut people out, especially if they’re family or old friends.
Ultimately, you need to recognize who is rooting for you, and who is holding you back. Even if you can’t cut them out, limiting time with them will make a big difference!