Paul Brian
Confident women have certain limits that they always stick to.
There are ten types of people who will never be allowed into the life of a high self-esteem woman.
These folks will have to find another door to knock on, because a confident woman isn’t opening up.
1) Professional victims
There are times when each of us is a victim in different ways.
But a victim identity is something different:
This is the building of who you are around a self-righteous idea that you are always correct and should get what you want because you are a victim.
Professional victims are people who have grown so accustomed to being the victim that they play the role in every situation.
In fact, they consider themselves the victim even when they are without a doubt the aggressor!
Confident women have no time for such mind games, and they stay as far away from these people as possible.
2) Fraudsters
Next up come fraudsters.
These guys and girls are sometimes obvious from a mile away, but they can also be more subtle.
Women with high self-esteem have seen their kind before and know how to avoid them early.
Early warning signs of fraudsters and cheaters include:
- Making promises that are too good to be true
- Hiding their faults and weaknesses
- Pretending to agree and flattery to get what they want
- Playing a role that isn’t who they really are.
Whether in work, love or any other domain, these type of people will always take advantage of you, and confident women don’t get sucked in no matter how charismatic or charming such people act.
3) Grifters
Grifters are basically a type of fraudster, but can be more on the friendly side.
They won’t necessarily get somebody to loan them money and then block that person everywhere and disappear…
They won’t necessarily cheat their partner and lie to her…
But they will freeload, and be apathetic and take advantage of people over the longer term, draining them of time, money, resources and energy.
Confident women can spot grifters from a long distance, and whether you call them “energy vampires,” “scrubs” or just plain losers, they’re not people that a high-value woman wants in her life.
4) Abusers
Confident women don’t take sh*t from somebody for no reason.
Anybody who treats them poorly or is verbally, emotionally, sexually or physically abusive?
That person is out of their life for good: blocked, restraining order, you name it. He or she is not coming back into her life.
High confidence women don’t allow anyone to define their worth downwards.
Anybody who tries to back them in a corner and control or abuse them ends up getting smacked in the face one way or another.
And they don’t get a second chance, either.
5) Gaslighters
Gaslighters are a type of liar that pops up especially frequently in relationships and business.
In relationships they tend to cheat or misbehave and then blame their partner for it.
In business they tend to lie and take advantage of people and then play the victim or evade responsibility when they’re caught.
The gaslighter is a weak and deceptive creature.
Confident women have no use of somebody like this in their lives and they stay away as much as possible.
The confident woman trusts her own judgments and perceptions, so anybody telling her she’s crazy or deluded ends up getting ruled out by her very early on.
6) Elitists
Elitists and avoidants are two sorts of folks who a confident woman has no time for.
The first are individuals who feel they are superior to others for any reason:
It could be their wealth, social status, looks or the fact that they consider themselves “edgy” or highly alternative.
They are the type who always need to show that they are superior and have greater gifts and talents and heavier suffering than everyone else.
7) Avoidants
Avoidants are a type of attachment style that tends to feel scared off by strong closeness or intimacy.
They have scars from early childhood that lead to them not trusting and feeling repulsed by those who care for them a lot and they tend to self-sabotage when anybody gets too close.
Whether it’s a relationship or friendship, avoidants have a lot of issues to work out on their own.
High confidence women generally don’t give them the time of day, because they prefer to be around people who have already worked out their emotional issues and don’t take other people for a ride.
8) Transactional types
Transactional types come in all shapes and sizes.
What ties them together is that they only do something for you if you do something for them.
Transactional types can show up at work, in love, in friendship and in every situation imaginable.
They don’t always show themselves right away, of course.
Somebody may seem to be a solid and trustworthy partner or work colleague or friend until such time as you actually need them:
Then they are nowhere to be found or agreeing to help you out on something only if you give or do something for them as a condition.
Confident women never let transactional folks in their life because they know at the end of the day these people just see personal connection and friendship as a business.
9) The actor
The actor is a person who always wears a mask.
He or she uses emotions to manipulate others and pretends to be happy or sad in a very sociopathic way.
To put it another way, the actor is somebody who is insincere.
Confident women have no time for insincerity:
They avoid suck-ups, sycophants, yes-men and those who are too smooth for their own good.
Such players and snake oil salesmen always turn out to be too good to be true, plus a confident woman wants someone at her level and not somebody playing a part or only trying to seem a certain way.
She wants the real thing!
10) The joker
The class clown is a popular figure and he or she definitely serves a comedic purpose in school and university.
But confident women are on the watch out for men and women who fit into the “joker” archetype.
This can include:
- Players
- Party animals
- Reckless individuals
- Adults stuck in eternal adolescence
The joker shows up with some substance to smoke or has a new prank to play every time.
They demand that others fit into their life and often accompany their permanent ongoing jokes with grifting and freeloading.
Confident women may find them funny at times, but they don’t allow these people into their lives because they can see a trainwreck even from far away and they don’t want to get themselves involved in that.
You shall not pass!
There are clearly many situations where people are in our lives through no choice of our own.
Family, bosses, coworkers, seatmates on the bus, friends of friends, just to name a few.
Confident women understand that you can’t control everything in your life and you’re going to come across your fair share of exasperating and even awful people.
The difference is that they draw that line of who gets any closer to them.
A confident woman will stand up to anybody who is treating her poorly or trying to gaslight, abuse, defraud or manipulate her.
Not only is she confident and perceptive, she is fine with calling somebody out to their face and challenging behavior head on.
If it’s her boss? Fine. Bad behavior and people sometimes have to be called out regardless.
If it’s her boyfriend? She’s probably breaking up.
Confident women don’t allow these kinds of people into their lives, and if they have allowed somebody in who shows their true colors later on down the line, a confident woman is not afraid to boot them out then and there.
She just won’t take this kind of treatment and behavior.
Drawing the line
Confident women may still be kind. They don’t necessarily judge easily or quickly.
But they do have limits and lines they won’t let people cross.
And once you cross these lines, a woman of high self-worth has a simple request:
She asks that somebody deals with his or her own issues before asking that she accept them into her life in an important way.
Anybody who’s still lost their own toxic patterns doesn’t have a role in a confident woman’s life, because she respects herself (and other people!) too much to allow these codependent and disempowering cycles to continue.
Sometimes tough love is the best kind of love.
