Tara Whitmore
Friendships can have a profound impact on our mental health, happiness, and personal growth.
If you’ve been sorting through your friendships lately, you might have noticed some patterns that leave you feeling drained or frustrated.
Navigating friendships can sometimes feel like a rollercoaster full of ups, downs and unexpected turns, especially when certain friends consistently bring more chaos than calm—some can drain your energy, erode your confidence, or hold you back from becoming your best self.
Recognizing and distancing yourself from unhealthy relationships is essential for building a fulfilling life; I’ll be walking you through 8 types of friends you should consider distancing yourself from, based on my professional experience:
1) The constant complainer
This type of friend can be incredibly draining—they tend to suck the positivity out of any conversation, leaving you feeling exhausted and down-hearted—and their constant negativity might even start affecting your own mood and outlook on life.
Moreover, they rarely offer any solutions or take steps to improve their situation. Instead, they seem to thrive off the sympathy and attention their complaints garner.
It’s important to remember that while it’s completely okay to lend an empathetic ear to a friend in need, constantly being subjected to negativity can be harmful to your own mental wellbeing.
You’re not their therapist, and it’s not your responsibility to fix their problems.
2) The highlight reel
On the surface, this friend appears to have it all together—the perfect job, perfect family, perfect vacations—you name it; every conversation with them feels like flipping through a glossy magazine, with their life seeming flawless.
Although it sounds great to be around someone who seems to be thriving, this type of friendship often lacks depth and authenticity.
It can also lead to feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt as you start comparing your own life, warts and all, to their seemingly perfect existence.
True friendships thrive on mutual vulnerability and authenticity; if your friend only shares their successes and never their struggles, it can be challenging to connect with them on a deeper level.
Their perfect facade may also pressure you to suppress your own struggles or negative emotions.
While it’s great to celebrate our friends’ accomplishments, a friendship that only revolves around someone’s highlight reel can leave you feeling disconnected and unsatisfied.
3) The one-sided confidante
Ever find yourself listening to a friend’s endless stories, problems, or ideas, only to have them switch off the moment you start sharing your own?
This person seems to think that your role in the friendship is to be their personal sounding board, without reciprocating the same level of attention or interest in your life.
Your conversations are often dominated by their narratives and they rarely ask about your thoughts or experiences.
Research has shown that balanced give-and-take is crucial for satisfying relationships—when this balance is off, it can lead to feelings of resentment and dissatisfaction.
In a healthy friendship, both parties should feel seen, heard and valued.
It might be time to evaluate whether this friendship is truly serving your needs and contributing positively to your life.
4) The emotional vampire
Having a friend who seems to leave you feeling emotionally exhausted after every interaction could mean that you might be dealing with an emotional vampire right now.
These friends have a knack for turning every conversation into a drama about their lives, leaving you feeling drained and overwhelmed.
Emotional vampires demand constant attention and support but offer little in return, often leaving you feeling like a mere accessory to their emotional roller-coaster.
Remember, your well-being matters too.
It’s okay to establish boundaries and protect your emotional energy, because you deserve friendships that provide mutual support and don’t leave you feeling consistently drained.
5) The competition contestant
We all know that friend who seems to turn everything into a competition.
Whether it’s about who has the busiest schedule, who’s in the best shape, or who got the best deal on a new phone, they always want to come out on top—this competitive streak can make simple conversations feel like a contest you didn’t sign up for.
Instead of enjoying your achievements, you might find yourself holding back from sharing good news for fear of sparking another bout of one-upmanship.
While a little friendly competition can be fun and motivating, too much of it can create tension and disrupt the balance in a friendship.
True friends should celebrate each other’s successes, not compete with them.
Everyone deserves friends who cheer on their accomplishments and support them, without turning life into a constant race.
6) The fair-weather friend
We’ve all had a friend who’s there for the good times but seems to disappear when things get tough.
I recall a time when I was going through a rough patch and really needed support, but this particular friend was nowhere to be found.
As soon as the skies cleared, though, they were back, ready to join in the fun again.
This is the classic characteristic of a fair-weather friend; they’re around for the parties, the laughs, and the good times—but when you need a shoulder to lean on or someone to listen, they’re suddenly unavailable.
Friendships, like any relationships, aren’t just about the good times because they’re also about supporting each other during the challenging moments.
Know this: True friends are those who stick around through both the sunshine and the storms.
7) The chronic criticizer
A friend that leaves you feeling defensive or inadequate in every conversation could be labeled as the chronic criticizer.
A friend like them seems to have an opinion about everything you do, from your fashion choices to your career decisions, and they’re not afraid to share it—even when it’s hurtful.
While constructive criticism can help us grow, there’s a line between offering helpful advice and consistently picking someone apart.
Friends should lift you up, not tear you down, so don’t let anyone make you feel less than you are.
A person, like yourself, deserves friends who respect and appreciate you for who you are.
If a friend constantly belittles or judges you, it might be time to show them the exit from your life.
8) The flake
Finally, we’ve all had that friend who’s perpetually late, cancels plans at the last minute, or just plain forgets to show up—this is the classic flake.
Of course, everyone can be forgetful or late from time to time—but, if this behavior becomes a pattern, it shows a lack of respect for your time and feelings.
It can leave you feeling undervalued and unimportant.
Friendship is a two-way street and requires effort from both sides.
Furthermore, the flake consistently fails to commit to plans and doesn’t respect your time, making the trust and reliability damaged—both making up the foundation of a healthy friendship.
At this point, don’t settle for less because finding reliable and respectful friends is worth their weight in gold.
Conclusion
Navigating friendships is a delicate dance—every step and turn shapes the connection.
At times, we may encounter friends who don’t align with our rhythm but, ultimately, the choice to address or let go of them is yours.
True friendship thrives on mutual respect, care, and uplifting energy; it’s a two-way street where you deserve as much as you give.
Here’s to embracing friendships that enrich your life and bring genuine joy!
