Twin flame separation: Why it happens and how to cope

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If you’ve met your twin flame, there’s no question that the two of you are destined to share a life path.

The connection between twin flames is similar to that between soulmates but deeper.

The bond is more profound; twin flames are two parts of the same. In many ways, they are and always will be one. They are mirror souls.

If you’re unsure whether or not you’ve met your twin flame or have one, they can be identified in four big ways: emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually. Across the board, the harmony in these aspects between twin flames is like none other.

Because of this fact, the journey of two twin flames is often long, winding, and difficult.

All twin flame relationships go through different stages, or phases, on this journey.

One of the most common phases, and most difficult, is what’s often called the separation phase.

When this happens, it’s sudden and distinct. Both flames are left confused and filled with sadness.

If you’ve recently separated from your twin flame, it’s okay to feel deep sadness and confusion. It’s okay to be disoriented and unsure whether any of it was real, or wonder if they were really your twin flame at all.

It’s okay to feel blindsided, to not know why the sudden separation has happened.

It’s also important to note that each relationship is different; no twin flame journey is the same.

With that being said, the reason twin flames have separated most often traces back to personal growth.

Let’s run through five big reasons why you and your twin flame might have separated.

1) Lack of self-love

One of the biggest keys to living a satisfying life is learning to love yourself.

With the ability to love yourself comes the ability to love others and genuinely help them. This is true with all relationships and especially is true with a twin flame relationship.

Since twin flames are so closely intertwined, a lack of self-love means problems in the relationship.

It may be a big reason why you’re facing separation from your twin flame.

Twin flame relationships will challenge you to your core, helping you to see who you really are. When you or your twin flame show a lack of self-love, it can prove to be painfully obvious and may seem impossible to deal with.

This rift is what leads to a separation. The pain may still be recent, but looking back to figure out why your twin flame left will help you start to heal.

QUIZ: Is he really your twin flame? Remove the guesswork by taking my fun new quiz. Check out my new twin flame quiz here.

2) Psychological and spiritual weakness

Mental growth is a key part of maturing and developing as an individual. There will always be things that come up in our life that put our psychological and spiritual strength to the test.

Psychological maturity is vital to coping with the stresses of life as we age.

The ego is one of the biggest things that can get in the way of spiritual development and growth. Here are ways to identify spiritual egotism.

In a twin flame relationship, you are one of two parts. Many compare it to being one soul separated into two bodies.

That doesn’t really leave much room for ego, does it?

And when the ego gets tested, threatened, or told that it’s less important than anything else, it tends to get very upset.

A reactive ego that leads to a twin flame separation is a huge sign of psychological and spiritual weakness, and it’s the first thing that will divide you and your twin flame.

3) A real psychic confirms it

The signs I’m revealing in this article will give you a good idea of why your twin flame has separated from you and what you can do to deal with this separation. 

But could you get even more clarity by speaking to a real psychic?

Clearly, you have to find someone you can trust. With so many fake psychics out there, it’s important to have a pretty good BS detector. 

After going through a messy breakup, I recently tried Psychic Source. They provided me the guidance I needed in life, including who I am meant to be with. 

I was actually blown away by how kind, caring, and knowledgeable they were.

Click here to get your own psychic reading.

A gifted advisor can not only tell you why things went wrong with your twin flame, but they can also reveal all your love possibilities. 

4) A genesis for healing

Twin flame relationships follow a higher path than the two people that make it up. The reason for separation doesn’t have to be because of one person or the other.

It can be for a bigger reason, one that could eventually unite both once again.

Maybe one of the two flames was being overly codependent, or too controlling and toxic. Or maybe both were unhealthy in the relationship. Here are some signs of toxicity.

Whatever the reason, the split and separation become a genesis for healing.

5) Mirroring negative traits

The journey of a twin flame relationship follows a journey of self-growth. The ability of two twin flames to be together has to do with the personal growth of each individual.

This is true for all relationships; here are some key factors for keeping a healthy relationship.

This is especially true for twin flames.

Twin flames are often also called mirror souls. When two mirror souls unite, they reflect each other.

This is why the love and bond are so intense, and why this kind of relationship proves to be so extraordinary.

It’s also one of the biggest reasons why twin flames dive into stages of separation. They reflect back to each other the worst parts of themselves.

It’s easy to see just how many negative traits you have when you’re with your twin soul. Having those bad traits put in front of you all the time becomes unbearable.

The separation almost has to happen to allow those personality flaws to be revealed, and then fixed.

6) Logistics, timing, and distance

A twin flame connection is a long-lasting one. The two of you are going to weather life’s biggest events together. You will both have ups and downs, twists, and turns. Your roads may twist and turn at different times, but still, you will have each other.

It may be true that the reason you and your twin flame are separated is because it’s a necessary part of that lifelong path.

Their goals, ambitions, and plans may take them far from you. The timing of this month, or this year, or next year, might be off.  You can’t connect fully with your twin flame for this period.

That’s all okay because it’s part of the journey the two of you are on together. You are one and the same, but you are two parts. When those two parts gain distance, it may not be a bad thing.

In fact, it’s probably safe to say that every twin flame separation can work out to be a good thing in the end.

How to cope with and mend the separation

Twin flame relationships are catalysts for growth. No matter how devastating the break is or was, there’s still an opportunity for personal growth and development.

The difficult truth is this: even though the relationship may in fact be a twin flame, there is the possibility that the separation becomes permanent.

The fateful feelings of destiny that brought you so close may have other plans in mind. It might not be in this life that you reconnect with your twin flame.

This is why, no matter when the reunion of you and your twin flame happens, it’s so vital to take the time to focus on yourself.

Let’s run through 6 things that will help you through the separation phase.

1) Work on yourself

Taking the time to focus on yourself after any breakup is always a great idea. When it comes to mending the separation between you and your twin flame, here is where to start.

When you focus on yourself, you will grow. You are essentially getting the ball rolling for both of you to be ready to reunite, if and when it happens.

Once you take the time to focus on yourself and grow as an individual, you will be ready to welcome your twin flame back, if and when the separation stage comes to an end.

2) Use constructive coping mechanisms.

Dealing with a separation from your twin flame is one of the most difficult things you can experience. It’s like having part of yourself ripped away.

Whether you’re the chaser or the runner, as soon as you leave your twin, you feel their absence, and you feel it keenly.

Trust the journey and don’t overreact to your strong feelings.

Accept them and accept yourself for feeling that despair and sorrow.

Find constructive outlets for your feelings. Constructive coping is one of the fastest ways to heal and deal with traumas and negative events in our lives.

Maybe you enjoy making art or music, or writing in a journal. There are so many ways to turn your anguish into something constructive, something that’s healing and beneficial.

3) Figure out what they want

You see, one of the biggest mistakes we make in love is assuming we know what our partner wants and needs. But rarely do we get this assumption right.

Especially when it comes to men.

If your twin flame is a guy, there’s a good chance there’s a few elements of the relationship that he’s missing out on, and it could be the reason why you’ve separated in the first place.

So how can you find out what men truly want?

It’s simple. Relationship expert James Bauer details everything you need to know about what drives men with his new concept, the hero instinct.

Through his research, he’s pinpointed three drivers that make men commit to relationships. Without these drivers being met, they’re likely to bounce from person to person, remaining unsatisfied with their love lives.

This free video explains more about the hero instinct and how to use it in your relationship.

Now, you may be wondering why it’s called “the hero instinct”, do guys really need to feel like superheroes to be satisfied in relationships?

No. It has nothing to do with Marvel Studios. There’s no need to play the damsel in distress to attract your twin flame back.

What the hero instinct reveals is that when men have these simple drivers triggered, a switch flips. Their doubts and fears of commitment dissolve. They love deeper.

And the best part?

It comes at no cost or sacrifice to you. All you need to do is make small changes to how you treat him, awaken his inner hero, and see how quickly he comes back into your life.

And the way to do this is by checking out James Bauer’s excellent free video here. He shares some easy tips to get you started, such as sending him a 12 word text to trigger his hero instinct naturally.

That’s the beauty of the concept — it’s only a matter of knowing the right things to say to your twin flame to make him truly value you and your relationship.

Here’s a link to the free video again.

4) Keep them in your thoughts

If you feel the strong desire to mend the separation between you and your twin flame, keep them close in your thoughts.

There is a lot of clout around the idea that the way we think has an influence on the environment around us. Self-actualization — the way we think is the way we will become — has gained a lot of traction recently.

Twin flames share an inseparable connection, one that bridges the gap between time and space. All love does, really.

When you think about your twin flame, they are likely thinking about you. Often people dream of their twin flames, feel them nearby even if they’re thousands of miles away, and are always in tune with them. Even after a separation.

Thinking about your twin flame will keep them close and help you mend the separation.

Just make sure to stay healthy about it, and don’t rely on the idea of them returning to you as a way to ignore the loss or your need to heal.

5) Keep communication lines open

It may be too early for you and your twin flame to reconnect. Whether you are the runner or the chaser, it’s important not to rush through the separation stage. There is something that both people can learn from, and reconnection will only be successful if you have both grown enough.

That being said, there is nothing wrong with keeping communication open between the two of you.

Keeping that person in your life in some form will not only help you heal and cope with the sudden void of losing your other half but will help you reconnect when the time is right.

Now if your twin flame is ignoring you, the below video might help you out:

6) Never forget that the separation makes you stronger

Separating from your twin flame will be disorienting, confusing, and extremely difficult. Accepting that fact is where the healing can begin.

It’s very important to remember that while you’re separated from your twin, you’re growing stronger with every day that passes, and with every step, you take to heal and learn.

Figuring out what caused the separation, what part you played in it, and then beginning to grow from it will only make you stronger.

And when you’re stronger, your twin flame is stronger.

Trust in that bond you share, know that at some point you will reunite, and you will be together again, no matter the cosmic timeline of it.

Use your independence to your advantage, grow, develop, and heal. Being single can always be used to your benefit.

QUIZ: Is he really your twin flame? Remove the guesswork by taking my fun new quiz. Check out my new twin flame quiz here.

How do I know it’s time to reconnect?

As we mentioned, no two twin flame journeys are alike.

Each has its own destiny and path that is unique and unlike any other.

You will feel the draw and pull of your twin flame when the time is right. You’ll be stronger, and you’ll feel ready to let them back into your life.

If you’re unsure if the time is right, waiting a little bit longer might be a good idea. Remember, your destinies are intertwined, so you don’t have to doubt their reemergence in your life.

Many twin flames, though, saw similar signs that brought them back together and helped them realize that the time was right.

Your twin flame shows up in your dreams. Dreams are a powerful phenomenon. If you are having repeated dreams of your twin flame, it might just be a sign that you’re both ready to reconnect.

Your twin flame won’t leave your thoughts. If you’ve spent time healing and growing while apart from your twin flame, one day you might notice that you’ve been thinking about them regularly. It’s possible that your twin flame has been doing the same thing. Your thoughts are starting to realign and it might be a good sign that it’s time to reconnect.

You re-establish an emotional connection. Twin flames have an uncanny way of understanding each other and reading each other’s thoughts. During the separation stage, this connection may be severed or ignored. If you feel a mental reconnection with your twin flame, able to intuit their thoughts or feelings once more, it might be a sign it’s time to reconnect.


There will never be a cut and dry solution to the problems that a twin flame relationship will face. Each journey is long, winding, difficult, and extraordinarily unique.

There are commonalities, though, that will help guide you as you grow with your twin flame, grow apart from your twin flame, and eventually reunite with them.

One of the biggest things to remember is this: there’s a reason for your separation.

Understanding why, and allowing yourself to grow as a person, is the best thing you can do. Even though that may feel like the most difficult thing in the world.

Twin flames are never destined to stay apart, so take comfort in knowing that separation is but one stage of many in a complex and extraordinarily rewarding relationship.


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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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