Tina Fey
Finding a soulmate isn’t just about chemistry—it’s about shared values, emotional connection, and mutual respect.
As the founder of the Love Connection blog and a seasoned relationship expert, I’ve come to realize that there are certain traits to consider when searching for your other half.
Join me as we delve into eight key traits that you should always look out for in a soulmate.
1) Emotional maturity
The search for a soulmate isn’t a quest for perfection—instead, it’s about finding someone who’s beautifully flawed, just like you.
One of the key traits that should be on your checklist is emotional maturity, which is the ability to handle emotions in a balanced and responsible way.
Having an emotionally mature partner means having someone who can communicate effectively, resolve conflicts peacefully, and manage stressful situations without losing their cool.
Consider this: When faced with an argument, does your potential soulmate become defensive or listen to your point of view? Are they able to express their feelings openly, or do they tend to bottle things up?
These questions can help you determine whether the person you’re considering as a potential soulmate possesses this essential trait.
And, remember, emotional maturity isn’t about age—it’s about perspective and response.
2) Shared values
In my years of relationship counseling, I’ve found that shared values are often the glue that holds couples together.
This isn’t to say that you and your soulmate will agree on everything but, at the core, your values, principles, and beliefs about what’s important in life should sync up.
If you value honesty, look for someone who holds truthfulness in high regard. If family is important to you, find a partner who cherishes their loved ones too.
Disagreements are inevitable in any relationship, but when you share the same foundational values, you’re more likely to navigate through differences with respect and understanding.
3) Independence
Now, this may sound counterintuitive coming from a relationship expert, but hear me out: A strong relationship is formed by two independent individuals who choose to share their lives together.
In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve into the importance of maintaining your individuality, even in a committed relationship.
Your soulmate should be someone who respects and encourages your personal growth and independence.
They should be your biggest cheerleader, celebrating your individual achievements and supporting your personal and professional endeavors.
After all, a healthy relationship is about finding someone who inspires you to become the best version of yourself.
4) Acceptance of imperfections
We often talk about finding the “perfect” person, but let’s be real: Perfection is a myth.
The truth is, we’re all flawed in our own unique ways.
And guess what? That’s perfectly okay.
When searching for a soulmate, it’s counterintuitive but essential to look for someone who doesn’t just tolerate your quirks and flaws but accepts and loves you for them.
Your soulmate should be someone who sees past your imperfections and cherishes you for who you are—warts and all.
They should understand that your flaws aren’t something to be fixed, but rather, they’re part of what makes you uniquely you.
Don’t strive for perfection in your quest for a soulmate but, instead, seek acceptance.
5) A sense of humor
Let’s lighten things up a bit: Life is full of ups and downs, and it’s important to find someone who can bring a little lightness into your world.
In my own relationship, I’ve found that a shared sense of humor goes a long way as it’s a stress buster, a mood lifter, and sometimes, the best remedy for a rough day.
Your soulmate should be someone who can make you laugh, even in the toughest times—someone who understands your sense of humor, and whose laughter is music to your ears.
They say laughter is the best medicine, and I believe it’s also one of the best indicators of a strong connection.
Look for a soulmate who can turn your tears into laughter, and make your heart smile.
6) Willingness to fight
I’m going to be brutally honest here when I say that no relationship is all sunshine and rainbows.
There will be disagreements, misunderstandings, and, yes, fights.
However, fights aren’t necessarily a bad thing and can be a sign of a healthy relationship, provided they’re handled correctly.
Your soulmate should be someone who’s willing to fight—not against you, but for you and for the relationship.
They should be ready to address issues head-on, rather than sweeping them under the rug.
They should strive to resolve conflicts constructively, with respect and open communication—and most importantly, they should always fight fair.
Stop fearing the battle and start embracing it because it’s through these fights that we grow, learn and strengthen our bonds.
7) Kindness
Kindness is a trait that often gets overlooked, but it’s one of the most important ones to look for in a soulmate.
In my own life, I’ve found that kindness acts as a nurturing balm, healing wounds and fostering love and understanding.
It was Mark Twain who once said, “Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can see.”
Your soulmate should be someone who practices kindness—not just towards you, but to others as well by being compassionate, considerate, and treating others with respect and empathy.
Remember, how your potential soulmate treats others is a reflection of their character.
8) Patience
The last trait on this list is one that’s often tested in relationships: Patience.
The truth is, relationships require work and they take time to build, to grow, and to evolve.
Your soulmate should be someone who understands this, and is willing to invest the time and patience required.
Patience is a testament to their commitment and their willingness to stick around, even when things aren’t easy—it shows they’re in it for the long haul.
Final thoughts
Finding your soulmate isn’t about seeking perfection but discovering someone perfectly imperfect for you.
When you prioritize qualities like the ones on this list, you set the foundation for a relationship that thrives.
If you need more insights into what makes a healthy relationship, I urge you to check out my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship. It’s packed with tools and advice to help you build a partnership rooted in trust, balance, and genuine love.
Remember, the best relationships are those where two individuals come together to share their lives while still nurturing their individual identities.
Take your time, trust the process, and know that your soulmate is out there.
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