This is a story about an incredible yet very rare type of person: those who are completely self-assured. My name is Pearl and I am one of these special people.
Before you misunderstand me and think of me as arrogant and narcissistic, I want to tell you something.
I’m the complete opposite of those labels.
I’m a confident person because I know and accept the reality of myself. I don’t need to fit in or impress anyone. At the end of the day, I’m genuine, special and unique.
Here are 21 traits I have that come from being completely self-assured and confident.
1) I don’t care if people like me or not.
I’m secure in the knowledge that people who won’t like me anyway, so it’s useless to waste my time and energy on these people.
2) I’m consistent.
People can depend on me and trust me because I fulfil my promises and commitments.
3) I don’t judge.
I don’t gossip or judge other people. I’m not someone who is looking to see what other people are thinking about me. If someone is judging me, there’s something wrong with that person and not with me.
4) I get things done.
I always take action and make things happen because there’s no point in dreaming about it when we can achieve it today!
5) I’m enthusiastic about life.
I’m passionate about what I do, and I get so excited about ideas and possibilities.
6) I’m respectful.
I respect others because I know that everyone is here to play their part in the universe . . . and it’s our differences that make life interesting.
7) I love myself.
I’m in love with my own company. I’m not needy because I don’t need anyone else to tell me that I’m loved, special and unique. I love myself regardless of what other people think of me.
8) I know who I am.
No one can tell me that I’m someone else because the reality is that we are all exactly who we say we are. We have our own experiences and our own preferences, likes and dislikes.
9) I’m happy with myself.
I’m not constantly trying to find ways to “fix” myself because I love my flaws and imperfections. I don’t need to be like anyone else in the world.
10) I’m organized and efficient.
My work and belongings are organized, where others may have a mess! I don’t overwhelm myself with tasks because some people simply can’t handle stress well. Instead, I break down tasks into manageable steps so that things don’t overwhelm me.
11) I’m accountable.
My life is a reflection of mine and I’m not someone who will squander money or opportunities because I don’t want to hurt anyone. If something is important to me, it’s important enough for everyone to know about it!
12) I care about others but don’t take advantage of them.
I’m not someone who relies on others for my happiness. I’m independent and I don’t need anyone to take care of me. Instead, I go out of my way to contribute to others’ happiness.
13) I’m open-minded and accepting.
I don’t judge or hold grudges because it takes too much energy and emotional work. Instead of judging others, I try to understand people by listening to their stories and sharing mine.
14) I’m a positive person.
I find the good in all things and I refuse to focus on the bad. I’m happy with what I have and therefore what others have too.
15) I’m realistic about my goals, ambitions and dreams.
People often ask me what my goals are, so this is probably one of the first things people notice about me. I don’t idealize or set impossible expectations because life is not going to go as we want it to. We’re limited by our own experiences and desires.
16) I’m ethical, honest and sincere.
I don’t play games and I don’t mislead people because they deserve to know the truth. I don’t hide behind any masks, pretending to be someone I’m not.
17) I love the world.
The world is a beautiful place, and it’s our responsibility to make it a better place for future generations.
18) I don’t need to impress anyone.
I’m not in it to be liked, so I can’t care about what other people think. I don’t need the approval of others to feel good about myself. When I’m happy and confident about myself, other people see that and like it.
19) I focus on me.
I do my own things and don’t let other people’s ideas and opinions overwhelm me. I’m not a follower, so I don’t need to copy other people’s ideas or behaviour. I’m unique and original.
20) I’m spontaneous yet organized.
I love spontaneity but I have my own schedule and priorities to keep in mind and so many things to do! I plan ahead, but if I need to rush, then I will do it because when it comes down to it, life happens for a reason!
21) I can be myself.
I don’t need to be someone different from my true self because I’m all that I need. I’m only human and a long, long way from perfect, so there’s no point in trying to change my personality.
Exercise: Can you instantly develop self-assurance?
These are the traits I’ve been exhibiting over a long period of time, and they all stem from my self-belief in myself.
The question is:
Where does the self-belief come from in the first place?
In my case, I developed rock-solid self-belief when I discovered my purpose in life.
I know that what I do makes the world a better place. I’m not doing things because I want to be liked. Instead, the things I do are so good that people will like me because of them.
That’s why when you ask me, “What are you passionate about?” my answer is simple and honest: “Helping people.”
I learned a few years ago to base my purpose in life from helping people around me. But it’s not as simple as just helping people however they need to be helped.
Instead, a deeper and underlying purpose in life comes from helping people based on the very particular gifts that we have.
You may think you don’t have any special gifts, but it’s not true.
Everyone has special gifts to share with the world. They’re just waiting to be discovered.
If you want some help in figuring out what your purpose in life is, I suggest watching Justin Brown’s free masterclass video on the “hidden trap of trying to improve yourself”.
The video is Justin’s manifesto for the self-help industry. He takes issue with conventional advice to find your purpose from visualizing what you want to achieve in the future.
Instead, you can find your purpose in a very different (and to be honest a slightly weird) way.