9 underappreciated traits of thoughtful and considerate people

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In a world where being loud and assertive is often rewarded, it’s easy to overlook the quiet and unassuming traits that truly make a person stand out.

Being thoughtful and considerate may not seem like flashy or attention-grabbing qualities, but they are the ones that truly make a difference in our relationships and the world around us.

In this article, we’re going to dive into the top 10 underrated traits of being thoughtful and considerate, and why they’re worth striving for in our everyday lives.

Let’s go.

1) Genuine Honesty

Honesty is an underrated trait of considerate people because it shows that you respect the people around you enough to be upfront and truthful with them

But while thoughtful people are honest, they still make sure to be honest in a politically correct manner.

That’s not to say that they care about what other people would think about them, what they really care about is how they make others feel.

If they think that their honesty is highly uncalled for, they would simply keep their opinions to themselves and keep mum about it.

However, thoughtful people know that telling the truth is necessary for the development and progress of a person that they care about.

So when they do become honest, they carefully choose their words to incite hope and positive action.

Tactful honesty makes a huge difference. Words have power, and I think that’s something that thoughtful people know for a fact.

Personally, I try to tell the truth from a place of love and care. 

But no matter how careful I am with mincing my words, the truth will hurt, but I assure them that I’m still here for them at the end of the day.

And I think that even if this trait is overlooked, it’s more important than a lot of people think. 

2) Well-Mannered

Thoughtful people are purposive, even in their manners.

It’s not that they think about what other people will think of them, it’s just that they have this genuine respect for people and the world around them in general.

They are careful and intentional so as to abide by the law, not offend other cultures, and not make it seem like other people aren’t as important. They act based on what is proper.

Manners go beyond please and thank you. 

Thoughtful people never interrupt others when they speak and they are considerate of other people’s time.

I think that being mindful of the time is a great indicator of respect, and it’s something overlooked in society.

Personally, when people always show up late to our agreed time, I feel as if the person has a low regard for me.

So despite my busy schedule, I always show up in time or in advance so as to make people feel that they matter and I respect their most precious resource in life: time.

3) Sensitive Of Others’ Needs

I already established in the first couple of points that thoughtful people pay attention to details and value their respect for other people.

So they are sensitive to what other people need, and at the same time, they anticipate others’ needs.

This is by far the most underrated trait of being thoughtful.

Being sensitive to others’ needs is a key trait of considerate people because, in a nutshell, it shows that you give a damn about the people around you.

It means that you’re paying attention to the subtle cues and signals that others are sending and that you’re willing to put yourself in their shoes and understand their perspective.

The ability of thoughtful people to listen more than they speak is the true mark of their sensitivity to others’ needs.

But let’s be real, listening with empathy is not always easy. It requires putting aside your own ego and desires for the sake of others.

And that’s not always comfortable or convenient. But that’s what true consideration is all about. It’s about putting others first, and being willing to make sacrifices for the greater good.

4) Ease Of Apologizing

Being able to apologize easily is a trait of a considerate person because it shows that you’re willing to take responsibility for your actions and own up to your mistakes.

It’s a sign that you’re not too prideful or stubborn to admit when you’ve messed up, and that you’re willing to make things right.

Let’s face it, nobody’s perfect. We all make mistakes, and we all have moments where we screw up.

The important thing is how we handle those moments.

And being able to apologize easily is a sign that you’re mature enough to acknowledge when you’ve messed up and that you’re willing to make amends.

I always tell those around me that mistakes are actually what will set you in the right direction. 

It’s a learning point and not many people have the courage to embrace it. With humility and consideration of others’ feelings, thoughtful people are different.

Most people want to be right. They think that apologizing and admitting their mistakes would degrade their value as a person.

For thoughtful people, it’s the other way around. Thoughtful people want to do the right thing instead of being right.

Consequently, not admitting their mistakes is what they think decreases their value.

5) They Don’t Break Promises

“Promises are made to be broken,” they say. 

But thoughtful people are living proof that this is not true. For them, promises are not made to be broken; they are made to be fulfilled. 

This is how you know that if they promise you something, they will never—ever—break that promise. 

It can be as simple as promising to call after work, to promising that they will take care of your pets should anything ever happen to you. Big or small, honest and reliable people always keep their promises.  

Why? Because for them, promises are sacred. Their word is their bond. Therefore, it is against their personal principles to make promises just to break them in the end; and we already know honest people live steadfastly by their principles. 

Of course, because they keep their promises, you know that thoughtful and considerate people always mean what they say.

6) They are Empathic

Empathy is important because it helps us understand how others are feeling, therefore guiding us on how to treat them right. It allows us to treat our friends, family, and even strangers with compassion and respect.

Practicing empathy seems so simple, but so many people often choose not to: if something makes you feel horrible, why should you do it to somebody else? 

Thoughtful people know this, which is why they make an effort to always treat everyone with empathy. Whenever they need to make a decision, they always think, “if this was done to me, how would I feel?” This thought is central to many of their important decisions.

Part of why they are always honest is because they, too, appreciate honesty. They know it feels terrible to be lied to, which is why they avoid doing it. 

They also know it feels bad to know you’re being talked about behind your back, which is why they never do it. 

7) Careful Decision-Making

Thoughtful people carefully decide before doing an action.

This is the overlooked foundation of their capacity to listen before they speak, think before they hit people with the truth, and empathize before they judge.

They are detail-oriented, but they don’t judge based on small available details.

Thoughtful people also look into the big picture to have a better perspective on things and avoid judging too quickly.

Most people look favorably into aggressive decision-makers who have found success, but I think calculated moves that involve so much thought are more important because it’s more sustainable in the long run.

I hear people branding these kinds of decision-makers as weak, but if you look closely into the best relationships and the best companies that exist, you’ll see that every decision is made carefully and in humility.

8) Mild-Tempered And Patient

People who are thoughtful mind their manners. They are compassionate of others’ mistakes and they don’t easily get baffled by simple errors.

Unlike most people, they are more accepting of others’ flawed versions of themselves so they tend to have long patience and temper.

In social media, I see many posts about young people bragging about their latest encounter with an annoying relative.

They seem to find joy in disrespecting other people who aren’t respecting them. The thing is, thoughtful people consider the fact that some people may be going through something.

Disrespectful people are common. I know I’ve encountered plenty of those kinds of people in my life.

But thoughtful people are considerate and they give respect regardless of whether a person deserves it or not.

9) They Have a Sense of Responsibility

Taking responsibility means knowing you’re accountable for everything you do, both good and bad.

And having a sense of responsibility means you know you are obliged to take care of someone or something and know that you must fulfill this obligation. 

Thoughtful people have a strong sense of responsibility, and they apply this in everything they do in life. 

If they want a pet, they will only adopt one if they are sure they are capable—in all ways—to take care of it, and not just because it is cute. 

If they want to start a new hobby, they acknowledge that starting new hobbies cost money, time, and effort, and take all these things into account before actually starting it. 

Moreover, when something wrong has been done, they feel a responsibility to correct it. Honest people cannot run away from the responsibility of righting the wrongs they see in the world. 

This is how you know you can rely on them, because they take responsibility in everything they do.

They won’t abandon things they feel responsible for, because they know how to fulfill their obligations. 

And when they make a mistake, you can count on them to take responsibility for it. 

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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