I have the pleasure of knowing more than just a few wise and mature women. Some of them are my close family members, and some of my most cherished friends.
I’ve noticed they all share the same set of qualities that make them wise and mature women.
Do you want to know if you too fall into this wonderful group of people?
See if you can recognize the 10 traits below in yourself.
1) You’re a great active listener
If there’s one thing women love to do, it’s to talk.
I’m not saying this in a bad way — in fact, it’s one of the things I admire about women, as long as they don’t do it through gossip or negativity.
But I’ve noticed that the wise and mature women I know focus more on listening than on talking.
They might seem to be quiet and reserved during conversations. But they’re paying close attention to what everyone else is saying.
Then when they do speak up, they tend to blow people away with how insightful or interesting their comments are.
It’s a great example of quality over quantity. When you take the time to really absorb what others are sharing with you, you allow yourself to gain wisdom from all of them, and gain maturity from a range of different perspectives.
2) You often show gratitude
Most people know to say thank you when they receive a gift, or when someone helps them out in a pinch.
But as a wise and mature woman, you practice gratitude and express it often to the people around you on a daily basis.
If you have a great conversation with a friend, you thank them for taking the time to listen to you and share their thoughts.
If you notice a quality about a person that you really admire in them, you tell them how much you appreciate it about them.
Even the smallest things can brighten someone’s day when they go noticed, and you tell them so.
And when you do that, you build strong and lasting relationships with everyone around you.
3) You don’t claim to know everything
Here’s something of a paradox: the wisest people, whether they’re women or men, are those who realize that there is still so much left that they don’t know.
As Socrates said, “The doorstep to the temple of wisdom is a knowledge of our own ignorance.”
If you believe you know everything, then you assume that the knowledge you have is all that exists.
You don’t consider the wide spectrum of opinions you have not yet heard, and so you have a very narrow understanding of the world around you.
That’s why a wise and mature woman thinks in the opposite way: you understand that despite your vast experience, there is still so much left to learn.
4) You don’t get involved in petty drama
There’s something I have to admit. I quite enjoy watching reality TV shows.
I’ve watched a couple with some female friends, including Selling Sunset, Love Is Blind, and The Perfect Match.
And there’s something we all noticed.
The people who carried themselves best through the show, and came out seeming the most mature and intelligent at the end, are the ones who didn’t stir up any drama.
More than that, they did not get themselves involved. If a cast member was putting down another person, they heard the person out, but did not join them in criticizing the person.
They also understood that they were only hearing half of the story, and never judged someone prematurely.
Of course, we were watching highly edited and cropped footage where people know very well that they are being filmed.
But this is the same quality that I recognize in the wise and mature women in my own life as well. I firmly believe that even the ones on TV aren’t just playing a role, but at least some of them are truly authentic.
5) You take criticism constructively
Nobody can say they enjoy being criticized, and there’s always a little sting when you hear something negative about yourself, no matter how kindly the person puts it.
But wise and mature women can overcome this and look at criticism with a true growth mindset.
You understand that this is an opportunity to evolve in some way, and use it to learn and grow rather than letting yourself grow defensive or resentful.
This takes real maturity, as you have to understand that we are all imperfect and have things to work on.
So it’s only natural that someone may point out something that you can do better.
It also takes wisdom to be able to tell apart criticism that is called for and makes sense, and criticism that you can discard.
There will always be someone who doesn’t like something about you. You can’t make absolutely everyone happy, so you have to use your intelligence to decide for yourself what’s worth working on.
If you want to learn about more traits that show you’re a wise person, check out our video on 12 traits that show you’re a wise person.
6) You have great self-awareness
If everyone could be honest with themselves about their own strengths and weaknesses, the world would be a much easier place to navigate.
But only the most wise and mature individuals are able to do this.
When you practice healthy self-reflection, you gain an accurate understanding of who you are, the values you stand for, and also the skills you have and lack.
As a result, you can make better decisions for yourself and work more effectively towards your goals.
You are also much more attractive as a person as a result, as people can see that you’re transparent and authentic without deceiving anyone or pretending to be someone else.
7) You don’t get offended over tiny things
When guy friends talk, they may call each other names for fun, or poke fun at each other.
On the other hand, women tend to be more sensitive in the way they communicate.
None of these is wrong, it’s just a difference in the way people communicate. Of course, there are also sensitive guys, and thick-skinned women.
No matter your gender, a wise and mature individual is someone who doesn’t take every tiny thing personally.
Every interaction you have happens with imperfect beings — as everybody makes mistakes.
It’s important to put care and thought into what we say and do, but we also have to be tolerant and understanding of other people.
If someone snaps at you, they could be having a bad day. Something you said could have reminded them of a painful memory, or they could be distracted by something that has nothing to do with you at all.
And even if it is personal, with wisdom and maturity you can learn to look at it with a grain of salt. There are much more serious things going on in the world to let petty details set you off.
8) You are truly happy for other people’s successes
Today’s world is extremely competitive, and it’s easy to get sucked into trying to one-up everyone else.
Every Instagram post shows you what you don’t have, every Facebook event what you’re missing out on.
Employers trying to increase their profits often just add to the problem.
But if you’re a wise and mature woman, you’re able to look at the world with an outlook of love and abundance.
The world is a better place when it’s filled with people who have joy and success. (You wouldn’t like to live in one where everyone’s life sucked, right?)
We all have our share of both ups and downs in life, and every up should be celebrated.
If someone achieves something you don’t have but want, you can look at it as an example of what’s possible rather than falling into jealousy.
9) You know your values and are true to yourself
I love talking about values. I think they’re one of the most useful things for personal growth in anyone’s life.
And I realized, all the wise and mature women I know are confident about what theirs are.
One friend shared with me that her values are honesty and compassion.
Another one said that she always prioritizes health over profit.
Your values can sound like a hundred different things — there is no template you have to follow.
The most important thing is, you have a solid understanding of what they are and what they mean to you. And, you never compromise them for anyone.
This is one of the reasons why wisdom and maturity make your life better.
When you have your values figured out, you’re able to live your life in a more congruent and authentic way.
10) You have goals
Another trait of a wise and mature woman is that you have goals.
This doesn’t necessarily have to be New Year’s Resolution-type goals, although many of the wise and mature women I know love to make those too.
It can also be just having something to work towards.
Perhaps you want to switch jobs, or even make a radical career change.
Maybe you’re learning a new skill, such as a new language or working with a piece of software.
Whatever it is, when you define something particular to work towards, you give yourself motivation and make it easier to determine what you need to do to achieve what you want.
Here are some of the top traits I’ve noticed in wise and mature women I’m lucky to have in my life.
Of course, there are many more things that define people who are wise and mature — I could go on and on.
What other traits do you see in yourself, or other women you know?