12 traits that make you irresistibly attractive, and it’s not about looks

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A handsome or beautiful face can surely turn heads. But at the end of the day, looks are not the be-all and end-all of attractiveness.

In this article, we’ll talk about the most common traits that make you irresistibly attractive. Hint: All of them have nothing to do with your appearance.

Find out how you can cultivate these traits to make you more endearing to others.

1) You’re a good listener

If there’s one thing that makes people feel good, it’s knowing that they’re heard and understood.

When you’re in a conversation with another person, do you….

  • Maintain eye contact?
  • Display open body language?
  • Observe verbal and non-verbal cues?
  • Give your full, undivided attention?
  • Ask relevant questions?

If you said yes to all, then you’re an active listener. People are drawn to you because you make them feel comfortable and safe to share their stories.

You build a strong connection with others because you’re fully present. 

2) You have a great sense of humor

If you can effortlessly make another person laugh, it could be your greatest asset. 

You see, many studies have shown that humor is not only good for your overall health and well-being, but it also makes you more attractive to the opposite sex

Humor does come with many benefits — it exercises our brains, improves our creativity, and brings people together.

You don’t need to be the life of the party or be a comedian to make others laugh. Sometimes, all it takes is letting your guard down occasionally and not mind looking a bit silly.

People love to be around you because you see the lighter side of situations. 

3) You’re kind

As they say, kill them with kindness. This phrase can mean different things to different people but in essence, it’s about being kind no matter what.

The thing is, kindness goes a long way when it comes to brightening someone’s day and capturing people’s hearts.

That’s because kindness is contagious. When you choose to be kind to another person, it’s another way of showing them that they’re seen, they’re not alone, and they matter.

Who wouldn’t like someone who makes them feel great by treating them the best way they know how, without expecting anything in return?

4) You’re empathetic and compassionate

Is empathy the new sexy? Well, some studies have suggested that many of us are drawn to people who have compassionate traits.

What can be more appealing than to be in the presence of someone who can empathize with you — someone who sees your perspective and validates your feelings and experiences?

Again, it all boils down to how you make the other person feel. If you engage another person and they walk away feeling valued and cared for, it creates a deeper level of warmth and connection. 

5) You’re emotionally intelligent

What makes emotionally intelligent people so likable and relatable? 

They feel deeply, and they want to connect deeply.

If you have a high level of emotional intelligence, you’re in touch with your emotions. You can identify how you’re feeling and how these feelings can influence your behavior.

And the best part? You can keep your emotions in check. Simply put, you’re not afraid to express your thoughts and emotions but you don’t let them get the best of you.

You’re also highly attuned to the emotions of others. You acknowledge and respect the thoughts and feelings of others, even if they’re different from yours.

6) You’re curious

Research shows that curiosity helps strengthen relationships because it makes people more interesting and engaging.

In other words, curious people connect better. 

That’s because you start cultivating a relationship when you show that you genuinely want to know more about the person.

Picture this: Two strangers talking to each other, taking turns asking questions to keep the dialogue going. They end up having a stimulating conversation that gets them closer.

If you never stop being curious about people and the world and are open to understanding experiences and worldviews different from your own, it’s a quality that makes you attractive.

7) You’re honest

In an era of fake news and untrustworthy people, those who live with integrity stand out.

Do you follow through on your promises?

Do your words, actions, decisions, and behaviors always reflect your core values and beliefs?

People will respect you more and admire you more if they know that they can rely on you to keep your word and stand by your principles, even when it’s not the most popular thing to do.

This brings me to my next point….

8) You’re consistent

Are you the same YOU regardless of the circumstance or situation? You may be wondering: what does that mean?

For example, do you treat everyone with the same kindness and respect — from your family and friends to the cab driver, waiter, company CEO, and anyone you interact with?

If this is you, then it’s highly likely that people are drawn to your consistency. They recognize that you stay true to your character all the time, not only when it’s convenient. 

9) You’re confident

Confidence is arguably the number one trait that makes anyone highly attractive. 

You know, those people who have that commanding presence when they enter a room.

And it’s not just about the way you look, it’s more about how you carry yourself.

This confidence need not be loud. People will be naturally drawn to you when you’re secure in who you are.

You don’t feel the need to impress anyone. You speak confidently, precisely, and deliberately.

More importantly, you believe in yourself and your capacity to grow and succeed. 

10) You’re humble

Here’s the deal: People don’t like those who are desperate for attention. 

Sure, it feels good to be in the limelight, but you know that life isn’t all about you.

People remember you more favorably and positively when you notice the good things in others and celebrate the accomplishments of others as much as your own. 

You don’t see yourself as above anyone. You know that many people gave you the encouragement and support you needed to get where you wanted to be.

You are more than happy to give your sincere appreciation and praise for others’ hard work. 

11) You’re passionate and resilient

What can be more attractive than a person who exudes so much passion for everything they’re doing?

People gravitate towards you when you have the drive and ambition to succeed in everything you’re into — whether that concerns your relationships, your work, your hobbies and interests, and more. 

And it doesn’t stop there: What makes you more admirable is the fact that you always find the courage to go through challenging times.

Your “can-do” attitude inspires others and compels them to keep going. 

12) You’re authentic

And last but not least, there’s simply no denying that you’re irresistibly attractive because you’re comfortable with who you are and you know what makes you happy.

You don’t pretend to be someone you’re not, and you don’t seek validation from others. 

You’re very aware of your strengths and weaknesses. You stand out because you’re genuine with your words, actions, and intentions. 

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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