Eliza Hartley
Heartbreak is one of the toughest things a person can go through.
I loved fiercely, deeply, completely – and then it ended. I was left nursing a heart that felt like it had been ripped in two. But it taught me resilience, strength and a level of self-love I never knew I was capable of.
This is for all the women out there who have weathered the storm of a broken heart and come out the other side stronger than ever. Here are 8 traits that make you an absolute powerhouse, even when your heart is in pieces.
1) Embracing the pain
The first thing I did, I leaned into the pain.
It’s a gut-wrenching feeling, isn’t it? Like someone’s punched a hole straight through your chest.
But here’s the thing: You can’t avoid it. You can’t push it down or hide from it.
What you can do is embrace it. Let it wash over you, let it hurt. Because that pain? That’s part of the healing process.
It’s raw, it’s real, and it’s a sign you’re human. And being human is about feeling – even when what we feel isn’t so great.
So don’t shy away from the pain. Embrace it. It’s the first step towards coming out stronger on the other side.
2) Seeking support
You know, I’m not going to sit here and pretend that I did it all on my own.
Because I didn’t.
I reached out to the people I trust, the ones who’ve been there for me through thick and thin. My friends, my family, even a therapist.
It was hard to admit that I needed help. That I was hurting and couldn’t handle it alone.
But let me tell you, it was one of the best things I ever did. Having someone to talk to, to share my feelings with, to just sit with me while I cried – it made all the difference.
Don’t be afraid to seek support. You don’t have to do this alone.
3) Finding strength in solitude
It was a Tuesday night. I remember because it was the first time in weeks I didn’t have plans with friends or family.
I sat on my couch, a cup of tea in hand, staring at the TV but not really watching. The house was quiet, too quiet. The silence was deafening.
I felt alone. And it scared me. I was used to being part of a ‘we’, and now I was just ‘me’.
But, in that quiet solitude, something amazing happened. It hit me – I was alone, but I wasn’t lonely.
I started to enjoy my own company, started to discover parts of myself that had been hidden beneath the ‘we’.
I found strength in solitude.
Being alone doesn’t have to mean feeling lonely. It can be a powerful opportunity for self-discovery and personal growth.
4) Nurturing self-love
Did you know that elephants mourn their dead? They’ll even return to the place where a loved one died to grieve. It’s a beautiful, albeit heart-wrenching, display of emotion.
I found solace in this fact when I was going through the worst of my heartbreak. It reminded me that love and loss are universal experiences, shared by all living beings.
But it also made me realize something important: I had been mourning the loss of my relationship, but I had forgotten to love the one person who was still there for me – myself.
So, I started a journey of self-love. I cared for myself like I would a dear friend. I pampered myself, took time for my hobbies, ate good food and got plenty of sleep.
Loving yourself sounds simple, but it’s a powerful act of defiance in a world that often tells us we’re not enough. It’s a crucial part of healing and growing stronger.
5) Embracing change
Change can be scary. It’s like stepping into the unknown, not knowing what’s waiting on the other side.
But after the heartbreak, after the tears and the mourning, I realized that change was inevitable. My life wasn’t going to be the same, and that was okay.
I started small. Rearranging my furniture, trying new recipes, picking up new hobbies. Each change was a small victory, a step towards my new life.
With each small change, I found myself growing stronger. More resilient. More confident in my ability to handle whatever life threw my way.
Change isn’t something to be feared. It’s an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. And embracing it head-on is one of the most courageous things you can do.
6) Setting boundaries
I’ll admit it; I wasn’t perfect in my relationship. I made mistakes, and one of the biggest ones was not setting clear boundaries.
I let my partner’s needs overshadow my own. I made sacrifices that I wasn’t comfortable with, all in the name of love.
When my heart broke, I realized that love doesn’t mean sacrificing your own happiness. It doesn’t mean letting someone cross your boundaries.
I started setting boundaries. I learned to say no when something didn’t align with my values or needs. It was tough, but it was also empowering.
Setting clear boundaries is crucial for self-respect and personal growth. It’s a sign of strength and self-love, and it’s an essential step in healing a broken heart.
7) Practicing patience
Healing takes time. It’s not something you can rush or force. Trust me, I’ve tried.
I wanted to be over it. To wake up one morning and not feel the ache in my chest. But each day brought a new wave of emotions, and some days were harder than others.
I learned to be patient with myself. To allow myself to feel the pain, the anger, the sadness. To understand that healing isn’t linear, and it’s okay to have bad days.
Patience became my ally. It gave me the strength to face each day, knowing that every step, no matter how small, was bringing me closer to healing.
Practicing patience is an act of self-love and resilience. It allows you to move through your emotions at your own pace, giving you the space to heal and grow stronger.
8) Cultivating hope
Throughout this journey, the one thing that kept me going was hope.
Hope that I would heal, that I would find love again, that my heart would mend.
It wasn’t always easy. There were days when I questioned everything, when the world seemed dark and bleak. But I held on to that tiny spark of hope.
I started to envision a future where I was happy, where I was whole. I started to believe in that future, and slowly, it started to become a reality.
Hope is the life force that fuels resilience. It’s the light at the end of the tunnel, the beacon in the storm. It’s what keeps us going when times are tough.
Cultivating hope is perhaps the most powerful trait of a strong woman. It’s the belief in a better tomorrow, the faith in our own strength and resilience. It’s what helps us rise from the ashes of a broken heart, stronger than ever before.
Final thoughts
Heartbreak is inevitable. It’s a universal experience that binds us all.
But how we navigate through that heartbreak, how we rise from the ashes, that’s what truly defines us.
You may have seen yourself in some of these traits. Maybe you’ve embraced the pain, sought support, found strength in solitude, nurtured self-love, embraced change, set boundaries, practiced patience and cultivated hope.
And if you haven’t, that’s okay too. Healing isn’t linear. It’s a journey that unfolds in its own time.
What’s important is to remember that heartbreak doesn’t break us. It shapes us into stronger, more resilient versions of ourselves.
Take a moment to reflect on your journey so far and the strength you’ve shown. You’re stronger than you think. And that? That’s something to be proud of.
