A short summary of every fairytale you were probably read as a child:
Prince Charming rescued her and they lived happily ever after.
It’s no wonder so many of us grow up waiting for love to complete us. We’re sold the idea from such a young age.
It’s then constantly shoved down our necks for the rest of our lives.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m no cynic. I think love and relationships are great. But here’s what they’ll never do:
Make you whole.
Because you already are whole. The problem is not everyone realizes this. And they’re missing out because of it.
They’re not only missing out on healthier self-esteem and a happier life, but they’re also missing out on stronger relationships too.
Because the better you are solo, the more you have to bring to the table as a couple.
Here are the important traits of women who don’t need a relationship to feel complete…
1) They appreciate what they have
The grass has a habit of appearing greener on the other side.
That’s why when you find yourself loved up, you may start to miss your single life. But when you are single, you crave the company of a partner to hold you tight.
It’s never helped whenever we start to look around at other people’s lives either. Then we start to feel like we may be missing out on something.
The antidote to this is to focus on what you have rather than what you may lack. Because you can’t have it both ways.
Some things in life are the way they are because of our choices. Other things are down to stuff that we never had any control over in the first place.
Either way, there’s no point beating yourself up about things you cannot change.
To find contentment and peace, we are far better off remembering all the things that we have going for us right now.
That way you don’t feel like pieces are missing in your life that you need in order to feel complete.
You actively look for how full your world already is, just as it is. Because as we’ll see next, looking on the bright side can work miracles in your life.
2) They’re optimistic
Your mindset impacts how you feel about everything and everyone — including yourself.
When you have a positive mental attitude it gives you an impressive boost:
- It reduces stress levels
- It lowers your risk of depression
- It makes you more adaptable and better at handling change
- It makes you more of a creative thinker
- It helps you regulate your moods
- It strengthens your immune system
- It makes you better at solving problems
Taking a look at that long list, you can start to see why optimistic people are perfectly happy on their own.
They feel good about life already, and they know that they can take care of their own needs.
3) They’re self-sufficient
A lot of people think they want someone when really they feel like they need someone.
That’s why they put up with pretty shitty behavior. Because something feels better than nothing.
Even when that something is seriously below the standards you should be setting for yourself.
When you are 100% responsible for yourself you’re not looking for anyone to share the load of making you happy.
We’re not just talking about practical stuff here like sharing financial resources or splitting the chores.
A lot of it is emotional labor that we expect from a romantic relationship.
Plenty of people secretly want their partner to put a stop to their bad moods, disappointment with life, or negative feelings about themselves.
But when you’re self-sufficient that’s not an unrealistic expectation you have. You’re already busy doing it for yourself.
4) They’re well-rounded
Women who don’t need a relationship tend to find their life is already made up of so many things.
They have interests, hobbies, passions, and goals that they’re working on.
They enjoy learning new things and challenging themselves.
They spend time doing things, going places, and seeing loved ones.
We only tend to miss the absence of one thing in our life in particular when we have unwittingly built our entire life around it.
Life feels empty when important elements that build your self-worth and self-love are missing.
The more we fill our lives with the things we value, appreciate and enjoy the more it feels like our cup is already overflowing.
It also helps you to strengthen the next thing on our list, because it’s like a magic tonic for feeling good about yourself…
5) They’re confident
Whether you trust, like, and respect who you are enough to back yourself.
The more you can put faith in yourself, the less likely you are to look around for someone else to put all your faith into.
Confidence builds as we push our comfort zone and challenge ourselves.
It has to be earned. This isn’t a trait that will come naturally, it’s a skill that demands we put the work in.
As we do so, we learn, grow and realize just how much we are capable of.
Confident women aren’t looking to hide behind a relationship for all their feelings of self-worth.
They are feeding that validation and affirmation from within.
6) They’re self-aware
Before we can meet our own needs, we have to better understand ourselves.
And that’s rather oddly easier said than done. Because what we may expect to come naturally doesn’t.
We have biases and false beliefs that we’re not even aware of. We use denial to hide from the truth.
You should know yourself better than anyone, but the majority of us have plenty of blindspots that we just don’t see.
It’s self-awareness that helps us to shine a light on that.
We use it to bring greater awareness to our feelings, thoughts, and actions. Then we can make more conscious choices.
We can identify when and why we are chasing after the wrong person who doesn’t deserve our time. We are less inclined to make mistakes in matters of the heart.
Becoming the hero of your own story all starts with cultivating greater self-awareness.
Nobody is your other half
Whilst the idea of soulmates destined to be together can seem like an incredibly romantic notion, we should think again.
Thoughts like this burden genuine connections with unhealthy and unrealistic expectations.
Love is human, not divine. It’s about partnership over perfection.
When we start to realize that love is more than a feeling, it’s an action, we can start to pull our weight more.
Rather than expect someone else to complete us, we want to show up already as the best version of ourselves we can be.
Lost Your Sense of Purpose?
In this age of information overload and pressure to meet others’ expectations, many struggle to connect with their core purpose and values. It’s easy to lose your inner compass.
Jeanette Brown created this free values discovery PDF to help clarify your deepest motivations and beliefs. As an experienced life coach and self-improvement teacher, Jeanette guides people through major transitions by realigning them with their principles.
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