When I was young I always tried to keep up with the latest trends.
I was on a mission to be the most stylish woman around.
I thought that this would make me sophisticated and sharp.
But as I matured I got older, and hopefully, a little wiser.
I realized that style has less to do with what you wear and far more about how you carry yourself.
Which was lucky, as my passion for fashion was costing me a fortune!
These are the real traits that create a truly stylish woman…
My 20-year-old self used to save up for some of the most outlandish outfits.
But here’s the silly part:
I don’t think it was even my taste. In many ways, I just wanted to get noticed.
I thought the best way to do that was to stand out.
But actually, I’d got it wrong.
Because, whilst there’s nothing wrong with standing out, there’s also nothing wrong with being understated either.
In fact, there’s a certain chic elegance that comes from not trying to be seen.
You still shine for all the right reasons.
Instead of screaming “look at me”, you’re there quietly embodying taste and decency.
So what does that actually look like?
Being humble rather than bragging and boasting.
Not trying to attract attention or seek to impress anyone.
When I learned that it is A-okay to be understated, I felt more stylish than ever.
Because for the first time in my life, I wasn’t being pretentious.
I was just being me, and that felt enough.
But that certainly doesn’t mean a stylish woman blends into the background.
As we’ll see next — far from it.
So rather than blindly follow the crowd, a stylish woman goes her own way.
And there’s nothing more stylish than individuality.
That’s the funny thing about us humans.
I feel like we spend half our time desperately trying to fit in, and the other half desperately trying to get noticed.
But a stylish woman has been able to remove herself from this trap.
She’s found the sweet spot in between.
She’s not afraid to be a trendsetter. It’s fine by her if all eyes are on her.
But neither is she isn’t looking for validation from people, she’s happy to do her own thing.
She’s just out there expressing who she is. She isn’t scared to let the world see her individualism.
It’s best to clear this up straight away.
Because sometimes we can think of being understated as lacking in all playfulness.
Being stylish has nothing to do with being devoid of fun.
As we’ve just said, stylish women express themselves in ways that represent who they really are.
And the truth is that every single woman I’ve ever met is multifaceted.
She isn’t one thing or another. She’s everything all at once.
Stylish women can still be playful, silly, and mischievous.
She has a secret weapon inside her that allows her to be whoever the heck she wants to be at any given time.
And that secret weapon is confidence.
The Hollywood actress Blake Lively once said:
“The most beautiful thing you can wear is confidence.”
I couldn’t agree more.
Confidence is the epitome of a stylish woman.
It’s got zero to do with how you dress because it always comes from within.
It’s actually the reason why some people manage to pull off the most risque of outfits —when others just look awkward.
Because regardless of their wardrobe, they’re always wearing self-belief.
We can sense self-assurance in someone straight away.
We see it in her body language. She keeps her head held high, her shoulder pushed back, and a warm smile on her face.
You notice it in her actions too. She lets her voice be heard and she always upholds her boundaries.
When a stylish woman trusts herself she oozes confidence.
A stylish woman is up-to-date.
That means she keeps up with current affairs. She has a good grasp of what’s going on in the world.
She knows she doesn’t need to become an expert. But she never wants to be ignorant.
She doesn’t make sure she is well-read in order to impress. She does it for herself.
Keeping abreast of what is happening helps her to keep her eyes open and stay sharp.
She makes it her business to educate herself about the world.
Stylish women aren’t focused solely on themselves.
They try to anticipate the needs of others.
This is what makes her such a class act.
She puts herself in the shoes of others and tries to see things from different sides.
This helps her to be considerate of the feelings of other people.
In practical terms, she is mindful of her words and how they may be received.
If someone is hurt by something she does, she doesn’t shrug it off and thinks “who cares”.
She will look at her actions and recognize when she may have caused offense.
Because sometimes it doesn’t matter who is right or who is wrong.
What matters most is how we can show each other more kindness.
In many ways, being considerate and well-mannered sort of go hand in hand.
Because both are about showing respect to others.
It’s not rocket science, it’s really about the basics.
A stylish woman never forgets to say please and thank you.
She shows her appreciation for others, to make sure they feel seen.
But it’s also in the way she carries herself that her manners come shining through.
She’ll always listen intently when you speak to her. She puts her phone away at the dinner table. She’s always on time and hates to keep people waiting.
It’s those little courtesies that can be all too easily overlooked.
Luckily for stylish women, a smile is always in fashion.
She aims to approach everyone she meets with compassion, warmth, and friendliness.
And let’s face it:
That’s not always easy.
Especially when you’re faced with rudeness or coldness.
The truth is that this takes a whole lot of strength.
Because we all have bad days, we all get triggered by the things and people around us.
That means it’s super tempting to snap back, lash out or put others down.
But empathy, compassion, and kindness are what help her to stay mindful of the person she strives to be.
A stylish woman knows that sophistication doesn’t mean you don’t experience those negative emotions.
But it does mean you try to control them.
I think if I could choose only one word to describe a woman with style it would be this:
This is the source of her polished, slick, and suave demeanor.
Above all else she commands respect. And she does this by acting respectfully and with decorum.
But as we’ve just said, staying composed in challenging situations is no walk in the park.
It requires her to keep her emotions in check.
Rather than get overwhelmed, she has learned to regulate her emotions.
When she senses she’s about to lose it, she’ll take a deep breath rather than fly off the handle.
She practices patience. Because it is something we can get better at.
She’s cultivated the self-awareness to understand her emotions.
Being in touch with your feelings is what ultimately helps you control them better.
There’s an almost undefinable quality about a stylish woman.
That’s because she doesn’t give everything away.
There’s a certain amount of mystery that comes along with style.
She knows that it’s better to leave people wanting more.
After all, intrigue is compelling.
It’s not that she is trying to come across as mysterious. It’s just that many of her other traits have this effect naturally:
She doesn’t overshare.
She leaves enough to the imagination.
She listens to others rather than making the conversation all about her.
Yet all the while her quirkier individualism still sits beneath the surface waiting to be discovered.
And that is a recipe for intrigue!