12 traits of a sophisticated woman (is this you?)

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Audrey Hepburn. Grace Kelly. Princess Diana. These are common images of truly sophisticated women.

They catch everyone’s eye and hold their attention without having to do or say much. They make being charming look so easy when really it’s an art.

No one is born sophisticated; it’s something that can be learned and worked on through the years.

It doesn’t mean having to walk red carpets and attend gala events all the time, either. It begins with refining one’s personality.

Below are the 12 traits that most sophisticated women share to help you refine the way you carry yourself and interact with others.

1. She Treats Janitors & Bosses With The Same Level Of Respect

Often, when people reach a certain level of success and wealth, they begin thinking that they’re more important than other people.

They treat waiters harshly but when they learn that someone is wealthy, they’re quick to be kind and understanding.

Sophisticated women treat everyone with the same level of respect, regardless of who they are or what their social status is.

They remember to say “Please” and “Thank You” when they speak to waiters, janitors, and junior members of staff.

They address others with either a “Mr.”, “Mrs.”, or “Ms.” They understand that everyone deserves respect, no matter who they are. We’re all people, after all.

2. She Avoids Swearing

While there is nothing wrong with swearing and cursing casually, a sophisticated woman doesn’t reach for easy 4 letter words when she wants to properly express herself.

She’s well-read and, thus, has developed a wide vocabulary of words that she can use to communicate her anger, frustration, or passion much clearer and more effectively.

She also understands the appropriate words to use in certain situations. She’s flexible enough to make a switch from boardroom language to dinner party chitchat.

3. She Is Well Informed Of Her Surroundings

With the abundance of entertainment being produced nowadays, it’s easier to forget about what’s actually going on in the real world.

Often, people are becoming less aware of the state of their community, the economy, politics, and social issues because they’ve developed a world of their own that’s solely based on what they encounter online.

A sophisticated woman has her feet grounded in reality.

Although she may not be an expert in politics or economics, she is at least informed and aware of what is going on.

4. She Doesn’t Feel The Need To Prove Herself To Others

People tend to have certain expectations for women.

There are often ideals about what a woman should and shouldn’t be. But a sophisticated woman defines herself.

She doesn’t try to fit the mold that everyone wants to place her in.

They understand that not everyone is going to like them anyway, so why bother becoming a people pleaser?

Paradoxically, when a sophisticated woman doesn’t concern herself with whether people like her or not, that’s when people begin learning to truly respect her.

People tend to enjoy those that aren’t afraid to simply be themselves. It’s part of a sophisticated woman’s charm: being authentic.

When she finds something funny, her laugh echoes around the room, no matter how “unbecoming” others may see it.

When she feels uncomfortable being around someone, she speaks out about it, no matter how “rude” others may say she is.

5. She Has Refined Tastes

Because she is well-read, she has been able to cultivate a diverse and refined taste.

She’s able to appreciate the classic literary works of Shakespeare, Austin, and Dickens — but she can also enjoy an afternoon with Murakami, Angelou, and Didion.

Her closet has a generous assortment of clothes all tailored to fit her specific body type.

She has an elegant outfit for every occasion — from picnics to pitches.

Her room is clean and organized, with flourishes of her personality like movie posters, her favorite paintings, and even flowers.

She doesn’t passively consume media — instead, she truly absorbs it.

She doesn’t stop at watching blockbusters and reading mainstream novels.

She explores, continuing to refine her tastes as the years go on.

6. She Stands Tall And Confident

Spending more hours in the day hunched over our laptops has caused our postures to worsen.

The constant slouch that we develop usually sends a message to others that say that we aren’t confident or insecure with ourselves.

In fact, a study has shown that doing the opposite and maintaining good posture, helps someone manage stress and negativity better.

Standing with the shoulders pulled back is a way to show confidence in front of others.

The sophisticated woman does well to keep her posture in mind.

She doesn’t slouch or drag her feet while walking, nor does she sit hunched over in front of the table.

7. She’s An Attentive Listener

When you’re talking to a sophisticated woman, she may tend to make fierce eye contact with you. As intimidating as it may be, she does this because she’s invested in what you have to say.

She leans in, sits upright, and engages you in conversation, not like others who seem distracted and simply wait for you to stop speaking so that they can finally say what they’ve been meaning to say.

She isn’t one to impose her opinions on you, either.

She asks for your opinion and respectfully listens to your take on issues, even though she might disagree.

8. She’s The Calmest Mind In The Room

In an argument, she is able to keep her cool and think clearly. She isn’t one to raise her voice or make arguments personal.

She calmly disagrees with someone and talks through their differences in opinion.

That way, she’s able to resolve the conflict gently and respectfully.

Likewise, when those around her seem to get anxious about something, she’s the one maintaining a level head.

She keeps her colleagues focused on the task at hand when they can feel the deadline creeping upon them.

Although she may not rise to a leadership role, she is able to lead others to a calmer state when they feel lost.

9. She’s A Clear Communicator

Being unclear and dishonest is one of the ways to easily cause drama — something that sophisticated women tend to want to avoid.

She is honest in her words. She says what she means and means what she says.

When she is having difficulty with another person, or when someone seems to put her off, she politely expresses her feelings to them.

Others might want to hold back their honesty or even omit information for fear of someone judging them or someone getting mad at them.

Sophisticated women, on the other hand, are honest but know how to say the truth without hurting someone’s feelings.

10. She Pursues Her Interests Despite What Others Say

Even though people may say that being a pilot or engineer is something that is uncommon for women, if she’s interested in it, she is going to pursue it regardless.

She doesn’t let the opinions of others get in the way of her achieving what she truly wants to do in life.

By living true to herself, she is also able to set an inspiring example for the women that follow her.

11. She Works Harder Than Those Around Her 

She is usually the person that stays up late to continue learning how to improve herself. She takes online courses to develop her skills.

She always tries to reach outside of her comfort zone at work so that she can grow more.

While she does all of this, she doesn’t let anyone else know.

She’s productive and efficient, but also humble. She doesn’t brag about how busy she is or how much work she still has to do.

Instead, she diligently puts her head down, gets to work, and gets it done well before the deadline.

No frills, no bragging, just focusing on the work.

12. She Sticks To Her Values

She remembers to show gratitude and thank the chef for her meals. She is generous with her blessings, always willing to volunteer at the local center or donate to charities.

She is kind and is willing to teach others the lessons that she’s learned, both technical skills and about life.

She forgives those that have wronged her in the past because she understands that nothing good can really come out of holding a grudge over someone.

She may also believe in the value of justice and equality.

When she sees a younger woman getting harassed or disrespected, she’s quick to stand up for them and protect them as best as she can.

She is there for her closest friends when they’re going through rough patches in their life, and she doesn’t ask for anything in return.

Being sophisticated is a lifestyle.

While it might be nice to live a glamorous lifestyle with diamond necklaces and face the paparazzi, the most important aspect of true sophistication is being comfortable in your own skin.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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