Adrian Volenik
Does the thought of going to a party, networking event, or other social gathering terrify you? Well, you’re not alone (pun intended).
If you’re anything like me, you simply like to spend your time alone without the need to talk to other people.
So, get ready to discover what makes us loners tick and gain fresh insights into the beauty of solitude itself.
1) Need for solitude
People who prefer to be alone have an innate need for solitude. They find solace, peace, and a sense of fulfillment in being by themselves.
I, for instance, use alone time to recharge, relax, pursue my personal interests, or engage in activities that bring me joy.
It’s not just me because there are studies proving that solitude helps us relax and relieve tension, among other benefits.
For me, there’s no better feeling than coming home after spending time with people the whole day, kicking off shoes, and basking in aloneness.
2) Selective socializing
Preferring to be alone doesn’t mean I don’t like to spend time with people. On the contrary. I love spending time with friends and family – to a degree.
I still enjoy social interactions, but I’m picky about the company I keep. I’m sure you can also agree with that.
If you’re like me, you prefer meaningful connections with a few close friends rather than large social gatherings.
We’ll probably never be the life of the party, and any networking events and team-building exercises will see me for no more than half an hour.
That’s because I simply don’t like to spread myself thin across numerous acquaintances and engage in surface-level small talk.
I seek out opportunities to connect with like-minded individuals, industry experts, or potential mentors who can contribute to my growth and provide valuable insights.
3) Appreciation for silence and nature
My mind is constantly working. Even when I turn off the laptop, it’s racing and thinking about what’s next on the to-do list. This makes it hard to live in the moment at times.
I have to make a conscious effort to shut my mind off and enjoy the small things. That’s why I love going out in nature for long walks, hikes, or my favorite – stargazing.
Living in a beach town offers all of the above. Additionally, beaches are deserted early in the mornings and late in the evenings and offer a serene natural setting that lets me cultivate a deep sense of inner peace and joy.
Even when my small town is overrun by up to a million tourists in July and August, early mornings and late evenings offer solitude for anyone seeking it.
That’s when I love to practice this next trait.
4) Introspection
Do you enjoy spending time in your own thoughts? Then you probably prefer solitude with a strong inclination towards introspection.
This is an amazing gift from Nature that lets us reflect on our experiences and gain deeper insights about ourselves and the world around us.
Introverts gain energy from spending time alone and find social interactions draining. That’s not a bad thing as it’s often portrayed. Quite the contrary. Especially when coupled with this next common trait.
5) Deep emotional awareness
Those who prefer to be alone, enjoy solitude, and often have a strong sense of self-awareness and emotional intelligence.
They are in touch with their own emotions and have a deeper understanding of their own needs, desires, and boundaries.
There’s an ongoing debate about the significance of emotional intelligence (EI) compared to traditional intelligence.
However, many assert that EI plays a paramount role in:
- Enhancing academic and career achievements
- Fostering strong leadership abilities
- Promoting overall mental and physical well-being
If you have deep emotional awareness, you face challenging situations at work by taking the time to pause, reflect, and identify the emotions arising within you.
You acknowledge your frustration and disappointment, but instead of reacting impulsively, you take a step back to gain clarity.
6) Self-sufficiency and independence
People who prefer solitude are comfortable taking care of themselves, making decisions, and pursuing their goals without relying heavily on others for support or validation.
This is because they have a strong belief in their own capabilities and possess a deep sense of personal empowerment.
This makes it easier to navigate through life’s ups and downs and make sound decisions. They aren’t easily swayed by societal pressures or other people’s opinions.
Instead, they have a clear sense of their own values, aspirations, and interests, which guides their decision-making and fuels their pursuit of personal growth and fulfillment.
Do you agree with that?
7) Creativity and focus
Some people like working in mastermind groups, meetings, and think tanks to find ideas and work on them. I, on the other hand, love bouncing a ball off the wall and letting inspiration come to me.
Some of my best business and creative ideas came to me while hiking through the woods alone. That’s why I always bring pen and paper with me to write them down or dictate stuff into my phone.
By talking to the smartest person in the room (me!), I can bounce ideas off and work without distractions.
Here are some of my best tips on how to get your creative juices flowing:
- Explore new ideas and challenge assumptions
- Quiet your mind and be fully present in the moment
- Create an environment that stimulates your creativity
- Journal, walk in nature or simply sit quietly
- Shake up your routines
8) Strong observational skills
And lastly, people who prefer to be alone often have a keen ability to perceive and interpret their surroundings with great detail and understanding.
Noticing subtle nuances, patterns, and connections that others might overlook is what we simply do. Although it can be tiring at times, I think of it as a superpower.
Observing people’s facial expressions, body language, and subtle cues enables me to gather information beyond what’s explicitly communicated.
Strong observational skills help me with my work, research, design, and editing, to name a few things.
Final thoughts
Did you recognize yourself in many of the above traits? What aspects of spending time alone do you like the most?
If you prefer to be alone and want to learn more about how to enjoy this awesome feeling, start by learning how to love yourself again or how to (finally) get your life together.
