It’s one thing to feel love and another to express it in the best way you know how.
Of course, that’s not always easy. Some people tend to hold back for various reasons, be it the fear of rejection or the idea that they don’t want to seem…too much.
But do you know what?
I believe there’s never too much love. And people who know how to express it effortlessly share the following 10 traits.
1) They’re warm and welcoming
I’ve met people whose coldness made me feel like I should take my leave after five minutes of conversation.
I’ve also met people who welcomed me with a smile and a hug, asking me all sorts of questions and enveloping me in a warm, comfortable energy.
Take a guess at which of them expressed their love better.
Yes, sometimes it’s just that simple. People who express love effortlessly bring about a sense of warmth, making you feel like you can fully relax and be yourself.
Like you’re home.
2) They give you frequent compliments
Let’s get a bit more specific, shall we?
One way to express love is through words of affirmation. These serve to make you feel good about yourself, to reaffirm one’s love, or to explain all the reasons why we love each other in the first place.
And a common trait of people who don’t hold back is that they often give you genuine compliments.
“You look gorgeous today.”
“Oh my god, I love your dress!”
“You’re just so inspiring.”
These are just a few simple words, but they can make a large impact.
3) They go out of their way to lighten up your day
It’s common knowledge that actions speak louder than words. And while words can make a significant difference in one’s life – receiving one compliment can completely turn your day around – actions go one step further.
One of my friends often offers to get some groceries for me on her way to my house.
Another one has bought a slightly more expensive gym membership so that I can come along once a week and work out with her.
When I’m feeling down, my partner goes to the store to buy me some chocolate.
These are expressions of love that come completely effortlessly to them, yet they are a big deal to me because it shows how much they care.
4) They listen empathetically
Love isn’t only expressed through actions but also reactions.
If I’m struggling, my friend comes over and listens to me complain for three hours, trying to help me figure it all out.
If I tell my partner he’s done something I’m not a fan of, he listens, takes a mental note of everything I’ve said, and apologizes for hurting my feelings.
It comes easily to them because their love shines through, making me feel like I can share my burden with them and they’ll understand.
5) They are accepting and non-judgmental
Speaking of empathetic listening, another common trait of people who express love effortlessly is that they’re ready to accept you as you are.
Their love doesn’t feel difficult. You don’t need to revamp your whole identity or change all your hobbies just to fit someone else’s expectations.
They make you aware that they love you for who you are, and even if there’s something they’d like you to work on, it’s more behavior than identity-based.
“I don’t like what you did yesterday. It made me feel X and Y.” That’s completely okay.
“You’re a bit too outgoing for me. I don’t like that about you.” Definitely not okay.
6) They take the initiative
Circling back to actions, taking the initiative is one of the best ways to express love effortlessly – it shows an active engagement in the relationship, as well as a desire to spend time with the other person.
“Hey, would you like to go to the cinema tomorrow?”
“We haven’t seen each other in a while. How about lunch on Monday?”
We all have busy schedules. It’s kind of the rule of adulthood.
The decision to spend time with someone and make space for them in your calendar… well, it’s a small action that’s actually a pretty big deal in the grand scheme of things.
7) They never feel too far away
On a similar note, a person who radiates love just always feels close by.
I mean this in both a physical and a mental sense. When you’re together, they might frequently hug you, lean slightly towards you during a conversation, hold eye contact, and show they’re really listening.
But even if you haven’t seen each other in a while, you know they have your back. You know that no matter how much time passes, they still love you.
And that’s largely because once you’re together again…
8) They ask you lots of questions
My favorite expression of love is showing a real interest in the other person’s life. Every time my best friend and I are together, we ask each other about everything and anything, giving one another the space to open up.
I may not be an expert on everything she cares about – geology is really not my thing – but that doesn’t stop me from inquiring about her dissertation and her academic studies.
And when she asks me back, probing the corners of my mind for everything there is to know about my creative writing process or each new thing I’m currently obsessing about… I feel loved.
9) They respect you
There’s a difference between the effortless expression of love and love bombing.
The latter crosses boundaries. It is overexaggerated and it is propelled by selfish motives. If your new partner sends you fifty messages a day and buys you expensive gifts even if you asked them not to, we’re talking love bombing.
But if someone respects your boundaries and asks for consent, it’s yet another expression of love.
Sometimes, love isn’t about giving and giving until you can’t give anymore. Sometimes, love is about taking a step back and allowing the other person to have some alone time.
And sometimes, love even means letting someone go if need be.
10) They’re comfortable in their own skin
The nine traits mentioned above couldn’t come together so seamlessly if it weren’t for self-love and the happy feeling that comes with accepting yourself as you are.
The more you’re dissatisfied with yourself, the harder it may be for you to express love freely.
You might be so scared of getting rejected that all the words proclaiming your love get stuck in your throat. You might think you are inherently unlovable, and keeping your distance is the only way to protect yourself.
Whatever it is, these mental blocks are standing in the way of the effortless expression of love and care.
But that’s all they are. Blocks.
And blocks can be moved out of the way, one block at a time.