Alexandra Plesa
In a world that champions social butterflies, preferring your own company is usually considered weird.
After all, humans function in a society and thrive in groups.
Finding your tribe translates to extra support and more opportunities for joy and laughter.
Even so, there are people who not only prefer to be alone but revel in the solitude.
They don’t get lonely when there’s no one around. They recharge.
Here are 10 traits of people who genuinely enjoy being alone (without getting lonely).
Are you one of us?
1) They are introverted
Let’s get the obvious out of the way first.
While I’m sure some extroverts and ambiverts crave solitude, people who genuinely enjoy being alone are generally introverted.
That means they are focused on their inner word, sensitive to external stimuli, and more reserved in social situations.
They prefer intimate gatherings over huge parties and forging deep connections over meaningless small talk.
Additionally, introverts need time alone to regain their energy, especially after being out and about for a while.
Does that describe anyone you know?
2) They are misunderstood
I’ve enjoyed solitude for my entire life.
When I was a child, my mom worried about me.
I’m an only child. I liked to spend hours in my room, playing with my toys or coloring.
Then I learned how to read, and a whole new world of entertainment opened up.
She used to force me to go outside and interact with the neighborhood kids in an effort to spare me the stigma associated with being deemed an outcast.
Turns out, all that stress she experienced could have been avoided.
As an adult, my social skills are fine. I simply prefer not to use them too often, something that baffles people to this day.
Whenever I hook up with guys, they ask me why I’m still single. I tell them that I haven’t met the right person yet.
While that’s not wrong, the truth is a bit more complex.
I realized recently that finding someone to spend my life with isn’t a priority for me, which is why I don’t feel compelled to actively put myself out there.
If I meet that right person, great! If not, being alone isn’t all that scary.
The downside is that not everyone can wrap their heads around this, as finding your better half continues to be seen as one of life’s most significant milestones.
Not only that, but plenty of other misconceptions are floating around about people who like to be on their own.
A few I’ve stumbled upon over the years:
- That we are anti-social and hate everyone
- That we are sad and lonely
- That we are stubborn, set in our ways, resistant to change
- That we don’t like to have fun or do anything enjoyable
- That we will die alone, surrounded by cats
Sure, there are anti-social and miserable people who don’t want to be productive members of society.
Most of us, though, like other people and don’t make it the ultimate goal to be alone forever.
I like to connect with others. I love my family and friends. I’ve had my fair share of romantic relationships.
The biggest compliment someone like me can give you is that being in your company is as enjoyable as being alone.
People who like to be alone aren’t weirdos.
We’re more selective with the ones we allow in.
3) They are reflective
If you like spending time in your own company, there’s a good chance you’re reflective.
You can be found contemplating and analyzing your thoughts.
You also ponder upon your experiences, actions, and emotions.
Some might call you an overthinker. In reality, you want to gain insight into why you do the things you do.
That brings me to my next point.
4) They are self-aware
All that thinking about your inner workings comes with a huge advantage: you are self-aware.
You know those individuals who have no idea why they act a certain way, dress a certain way, fall for the wrong people?
They do it because, for them, it feels right.
Not you. You’re painfully aware of your qualities, good and bad, your triggers, quirks, issues, and desires.
Since being reflective is an intentional process of self-discovery, you’re also proficient in mapping out everything you need to do to become your best self and live a fantastic life.
The only problem?
Being aware of your issues and overcoming your issues are two separate things.
5) They are independent
People who genuinely enjoy being alone are used to relying on themselves.
As a result, they rarely ask for outside help, preferring to do everything on their own.
It makes sense. Accustomed to navigating life unaccompanied, they develop a profound trust in their abilities to overcome challenges.
But while being independent is commendable, it’s also crucial to recognize that seeking assistance is not a sign of weakness.
We all need help from time to time – something I’m more comfortable admitting now than I was a few years ago.
I’ve always been a fan of doing things myself, from killing spiders to changing lightbulbs to getting through everything on my to-do list without outsourcing even minor tasks.
As my responsibilities grew, though, I accepted the fact that you can have anything you want, but you can’t have everything you want.
The more you strain yourself trying to have it all, the quicker you burn out.
Now, I’m more likely to ask a friend to bring me medicine if I get sick rather than go out and get it myself, becoming sicker in the process.
To let the guy I’m seeing wash the dishes or make the bed.
To visit my mom when my workload gets insane and ask her nicely to please feed me while I get it under control.
Just because you can do everything on your own doesn’t mean that you have to.
6) They are curious
If you like to spend time in your own company, you probably have a number of hobbies and passions you devote time to.
I love to read and I sometimes spend hours researching a subject I’m interested in online. I color. I binge-watch. The list goes on.
People who like to be on their own tend to be interested in a lot of things, and they cultivate those passions.
Besides relaxation, hobbies enable them to learn more about themselves, people, and the world in general.
Sounds familiar?
Thankfully, you can spend a huge chunk of that alone time satisfying your (ever-growing) curiosity.
Nice!
7) They are resilient
Finding contentment in solitude indicates a high level of inner strength and adaptability.
If that’s you, you’re likely resilient.
When faced with setbacks or challenges, you approach them with steadiness and composure.
Since you’re used to relying on yourself for comfort and fulfillment, you have a practical approach to problem-solving.
You can also bounce back when life pushes you down without making too much fuss about it.
It’s because you know yourself well and trust yourself to get through it.
8) They are chill
People who genuinely enjoy being alone (without getting lonely) loathe drama – unless it’s the kind they watch on the big screen after a busy day.
Loving solitude goes hand in hand with a low tolerance for unnecessary conflict and tension.
You prefer peace and tranquility, and you prioritize deep relationships over the superficial connections that usually invite misunderstandings and discord into your life.
Drama disrupts the mental and emotional balance that solitude provides.
You’d rather stay away.
9) They are observers
When you like solitude, you have no problem stepping back from social interactions and paying attention to your surroundings.
This makes you a keen observer of the world.
You pick up on details others miss, and you’re aware of your environment at all times.
Plus, your introspection sessions and your curiosity allow you to better grasp the subtleties of human behavior.
(One of my favorite activities is going to the park alone and people-watching.)
All in all, you have a rich understanding of the dynamics of the world you navigate.
That’s something to be proud of.
10) They are dreamers
If you don’t get lonely when you’re alone, you might also exhibit a propensity for dreaming and imagination.
Solitude provides a quiet space for your mind to wander freely.
Away from external stimuli, you can delve into the recesses of your imagination, allowing dreams and creative thoughts to flourish.
Moreover, being self-aware means taking the time to explore your desires, set personal goals, and envision a future that aligns with your ambitions.
Here’s to the ones who dream, foolish as they may seem!
Bottom line
Enjoying solitude isn’t a bug. It’s a feature.
It means that you’re comfortable in your own company, able to entertain yourself, and less dependent on others.
For you, solitude is a symphony of joy and self-discovery.
There’s nothing wrong with that.
