Paul Brian
Charisma is a talent that many try to learn and master.
Having charisma can help in your professional and personal life in numerous ways.
But for others, charisma comes naturally.
Here are the traits that show someone is a natural-born charismatic individual.
1) Know-how
Charisma is not just about speaking well and looking people in the eye.
It’s about knowing what you’re doing.
One of the top traits of naturally charismatic people is competence.
There’s nothing that gains the trust and admiration of others more than somebody who truly knows what they are doing.
The most charismatic person I’ve met in the past month was an Uber driver who loved his business.
He passionately explained to me how he’s doubled his earnings by using traffic apps and setting up a members-only driver group where he and his colleagues help each other maximize efficiency and navigate issues.
He knew what he was talking about and even was in the process of helping out his brother become an Uber driver as well, starting in easy neighborhoods.
If you looked at the guy at first glance you might think nothing special, and his car wasn’t very new or high-quality at all.
But his charisma was infectious because he knew what he was talking about and loved his work!
2) Energy and enthusiasm
This leads directly to my next point:
Naturally charismatic people are full of energy and enthusiasm.
They talk with energy and use gestures and laugh and smile.
They get angry and scowl and criticize, too, if the situation calls for it or their negativity has a purpose.
Their behavior and actions make an impact and draw others into the orbit of their energy.
The reason?
They have big energy that’s sure of itself and enthusiastic.
3) In love with their mission
The reason that naturally charismatic people have such a magnetic pull for others is dead simple:
They’re in love with their life and their mission.
Even the negativity I talked about in the previous point would be negativity about an obstacle, person or situation that they want to bust through.
Take a very charismatic politician as an example.
Much as people may not like to admit it, some politicians are simply impressive and charismatic individuals, which is why folks follow them and vote for them.
They are so in love with their mission and seem to truly believe the words they say, and we keep falling for it by the millions even when we say we won’t believe again…
That’s the power of somebody who’s on mission and focused on what they love.
4) Affiliative humor
Next up in the traits of naturally charismatic people is affiliative humor.
This is jokes and use of humor that builds bridges with people instead of dividing or breaking them down.
Affiliative humor seeks connections and relation with others.
It gets people laughing together and feeling connected, so the man or woman who tells these kinds of jokes naturally exhibits a very popular and charismatic personality.
5) Connecting with anyone
That’s the thing about a naturally charismatic person:
They can connect with almost anyone.
Give them a few minutes and they’re chatting with a guy in a shop about sports.
A few hours later they’re shooting the breeze at the nail salon and sympathizing with their nail technician’s divorce.
That night at the restaurant it’s all jokes and camaraderie with the waiter, bonding over a new comedy film they both love.
Charismatic people always find a way to connect!
6) Empathy and understanding
One of the reasons that charismatic people connect so well is that they’re empathetic.
They are masters at relating what someone is saying to an experience they’ve had that’s similar.
They can always find a way to share in someone else’s pain, joy or confusion.
They’re not just around telling people what they want to hear, the charismatic individual is offering real value by expressing their own shared experience and understanding.
7) Masterful speaker and communicator
The charismatic individual is a communicator of the best kind.
They have a way with words.
Even if they’re shy or don’t speak much, what they do say has an impact.
They know how to make something land, and they use eye contact and enunciation to get through to people.
They are also active listeners who encourage confidence and trust.
8) Displaying open and powerful body language
Another of the key traits of naturally charismatic people is powerful body language.
This means facing the person they’re talking to, strong eye contact, standing straight, using gestures and walking confidently.
It means breathing deeply and feeling at home in their own body.
It means use of body language to convey confidence, authority, sincerity and energy.
For the naturally confident person this isn’t a tactic or a strategy, it’s how they actually are because their charisma is part and parcel of being confident in their own body.
9) Willing and able to adjust their pace
Naturally charismatic individuals can lead or follow as the case demands.
They are not necessarily “alpha” or the kind of stereotypes the media presents.
Charisma is all about being liked, trusted and desired.
The charismatic individual isn’t pushy and they don’t always have to lead.
They are able to adjust their pace to fit the needs and mood of others.
They stick to their values and lead when necessary, but part of their charisma is in being able to seize the right time and to know when to hang back and be patient as well.
10) Confidence mixed with humility
This leads us into the next point here, which is that naturally charismatic people are confident but they’re also humble.
They don’t let their talents and status make them feel superior to others, and people pick up on that.
Their treatment of everyone else as worthy of attention and respect garners the same back to them.
Charisma is ultimately about reciprocity: give respect, get respect.
And being confident while also realistically recognizing their limitations makes someone immensely charismatic.
11) Unforced curiosity in the world around them
The charismatic person is interested in the world around them out of genuine curiosity.
This helps them connect with others because they always want to know what makes people tick.
The curiosity of the charismatic person is a major stimulant that keeps people feeling connected to them.
It also makes them interesting, because they’re always chasing down some new lead, discovering some new passion and finding out new things they love to do.
12) Innate desire to grow and succeed
Part of the charismatic individual’s curiosity is their desire to grow and succeed in life.
Nothing attracts people like winning.
And nothing wins like always wanting to grow and seeing life as an opportunity to grow.
Where others see failure, the charismatic individual sees an opportunity.
This isn’t just about being “positive” or something like that.
It’s about looking at the world through new eyes.
13) Bulletproof vulnerability (with a happy ending)
Being vulnerable is authentic and invites trust and respect.
Complaining and playing the victim is the opposite: it’s being vulnerable to beg for sympathy and try to get power.
But being vulnerable in a sincere way is just about admitting we’re all human.
It’s one of the chief characteristics of a charismatic person.
You’ll notice very effective motivational speakers, politicians, celebrities and community leaders all have this quality:
They open up about their own struggles but always have a narrative where they emerged victorious.
We write our own story: make sure it’s a good one!
14) Giving more energy than they take
At the end of the day, the defining characteristic of a charismatic person is that they give more than they take.
Or at least they appear to do so.
Some sleazy gurus give out wisdom and inspiration but then demand a high price in return, or start a cult.
But the truly charismatic individual uses their charm and talents for good and to help themselves and others build a better, stronger and more authentic life.
When you end the day by having given more than you took, you’re succeeding at life.
The charismatic person adds value instead of taking it away.
This is why people brighten up around them and want to spend more time around them:
Because they’re a net plus!
The key to natural charisma
Not all of us were born with the same level of charisma.
Some people are more extroverted and better communicators than others. We all have skills in different areas, and that’s OK! In fact, it’s a good thing.
The key to developing the kind of natural charisma above is to love your life and connect with other people.
Give more energy than you take and leave each day with a plus sign on your balance sheet.
No matter how shy you are or how insecure, do this and your charisma will grow.
People will seek you out and appreciate the net benefit you bring to their lives.
If you do this, you will begin inevitably exhibiting many of these traits of naturally charismatic people by virtue of how you live your life and interact with others.
