7 traits of men who can’t hold down a relationship for more than a year

There’s a significant gap between men who are in it for the long haul and those who can’t seem to make it past the one-year mark.

The difference? It’s all about traits.

Some men have certain qualities that make maintaining a relationship harder than finding a needle in a haystack.

As the founder of Love Connection blog and a relationship expert, I have seen my fair share of these traits in action. And trust me, they’re not pretty.

Let me tell you, understanding these traits can make all the difference. It’s like being given a map to navigate the complex world of dating and relationships.

So, ladies, brace yourselves.

I’m about to share with you the 7 traits of men who struggle to keep a relationship for more than a year. It’s going to be a bumpy ride, but I promise it’ll be worth it.

1) Fear of commitment

Look, we’ve all heard about it. The infamous ‘commitment-phobia’. But is it just a cliché, or is there some truth behind it?

In my years of working as a relationship expert, I’ve encountered numerous men who simply can’t bring themselves to commit to a relationship for more than a year.

And it’s not because they don’t care or they’re not interested.

It stems from a deep-seated fear – a fear of being tied down, losing their freedom, or getting hurt.

This fear often becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy, causing them to sabotage their relationships before they even have a chance to flourish.

Keep your eyes open for signs of this trait.

If your man is always hesitant about making plans for the future, or seems uncomfortable when the topic of commitment comes up, he might be battling with this fear.

2) Lack of emotional maturity

This one hits home for me. I’ve been in a relationship with someone who wasn’t emotionally mature, and believe me, it’s like trying to build a castle on quicksand.

Emotional maturity is the ability to understand and manage your emotions.

It’s about being able to empathize with others, and having the capacity to handle disagreements without resorting to petty fights or silent treatments.

Men who lack emotional maturity often struggle to form deep connections and handle the challenges that come with a relationship.

They might react impulsively during arguments, or shut down completely when faced with emotional stress.

If your man struggles with emotional reactions, it may be an indicator of immaturity. 

3) Inability to communicate effectively

Communication is the lifeblood of any relationship. Without it, misunderstandings can quickly spiral into arguments and resentment.

I’ve witnessed countless relationships crumble simply because the man couldn’t express his feelings or needs effectively.

Instead of opening up, they bottle it all up until it explodes – and not in a good way.

Effective communication is a two-way street. It’s not just about talking, but also about listening and understanding your partner’s perspective.

In my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship, I delve into the importance of communication in maintaining a healthy relationship.

I share practical tips and strategies on how to improve your communication skills and build deeper connections with your partner.

4) Unable to compromise

Let me tell you a little story. A few years back, I was dating this guy who was absolutely fantastic – charming, successful, and incredibly handsome.

But there was one significant flaw – he was unable to compromise.

No matter how trivial or serious the matter was, he couldn’t bring himself to meet me halfway.

It was always his way or the highway. And let me tell you, that’s no way to maintain a relationship.

Compromise is the grease that keeps the wheels of a relationship turning smoothly. It’s about understanding that you won’t always get your way and being okay with it.

Men who can’t compromise often struggle to keep relationships going for more than a year.

They’re so used to having things their way that they can’t handle the give-and-take dynamic of a relationship.

5) Lack of self-love

This is a tough one to address, but it’s crucial.

Many men who struggle to maintain relationships for more than a year often lack a fundamental trait – self-love.

It’s hard to fully love someone else if you don’t love yourself first.

Men who struggle with self-esteem issues often project their insecurities onto their partners, leading to toxic patterns of jealousy, control, or dependence.

It’s heartbreaking to see, and even more difficult to experience. You can’t fix someone who doesn’t see their own worth, no matter how much you love them.

Self-love isn’t just about thinking you’re the best thing since sliced bread.

It’s about acknowledging your flaws and loving yourself regardless. It’s about knowing your worth and not settling for less than you deserve.

6) Unresolved past issues

We’ve all got baggage. But some men carry around a suitcase so heavy, it weighs down every relationship they get into.

I once dated a man who had unresolved issues from his past.

These issues constantly resurfaced in our relationship, creating a barrier between us and preventing us from moving forward.

As the saying goes, “You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.”

This quote, often attributed to author Michael McMillan, couldn’t be more relevant in this scenario.

Carrying unresolved issues into a new relationship is like trying to water a garden with a leaky hose.

No matter how much effort you put in, the results will always be subpar.

7) Avoidance of vulnerability

This is the final trait, and arguably one of the most significant – avoidance of vulnerability.

Being vulnerable is scary. It means opening up and letting someone see the parts of you that aren’t perfect.

For many men, this fear of being seen as weak or less than masculine stops them from showing their true selves in a relationship.

But here’s the raw truth: vulnerability is not weakness. It’s courage. It’s strength.

It’s the willingness to say, “This is me, flaws and all” and trusting that you’ll be accepted anyway.

If your man shies away from being vulnerable, it could be a sign that he’s not ready for a deep, meaningful relationship.

Vulnerability is the key to intimacy, and without it, a relationship can’t truly thrive.

Truth is that nobody’s perfect. We’re all beautifully flawed in our own ways.

And it’s these flaws that make us human, that make us loveable.

So don’t be afraid to show them, and don’t settle for anyone who can’t handle them.

Final thoughts

Recognizing these traits in your man doesn’t necessarily mean your relationship is doomed.

But it does signal that there’s work to be done. Relationships are a two-way street, and both parties need to put in the effort to make it work.

Everyone has the potential for growth and change.

If your man struggles with these traits, encourage him to seek help and work on himself.

Patience, understanding, and love can do wonders.

For more insight, check out my book Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

It provides practical strategies for improving your relationship and promoting personal growth.

At the end of the day, we’re all just trying to find love and happiness.

And sometimes, that journey starts with understanding ourselves a bit better.

So keep an open heart, an open mind, and remember – you’re worth it.