Lachlan Brown
We all have that one person that is simply awesome to be around.
They’re charismatic, funny, and have a knack for giving great advice.
But what really stands out is that they’re easy to be around.
They don’t judge you unnecessarily or look down on you in any way.
They have a certain type of personality that makes you feel comfortable and appreciated.
So, what is it that makes them have this whole “easy-to-be-around” thing?
There’s really a whole heap of traits that allow someone to be a pleasure to be around.
The list could go on and on.
But in this article, I’m going to cover the top 10 traits that allow someone to be easy to be around.
If we can all work on improving these traits in ourselves, then people will enjoy spending time with us, and friends will be easy to find.
1. Be as optimistic as possible
Pretty obvious, right?
Everyone enjoys spending time with someone who is positive, rather than someone who is constantly complaining about how bad life is.
When you spend time with someone that is positive it makes you feel more positive about life.
A positive person tends to think in terms of solutions instead of problems.
This makes you realize that there is always light at the end of the tunnel or an opportunity for a better future to be had.
So, work on being as optimistic as possible and you will find that people will love spending time with you because you’re a positive person.
2. Actually listen when someone is speaking
Do you enjoy spending time with someone who doesn’t listen to you, or even respect what you’re saying?
Of course not!
A person who is easy to be around listens to others and respects their opinions.
By being an active listener, you actually care about who you’re talking to and show that by taking the time to listen to what they have to say.
They don’t try to constantly bring the conversation back to them.
The most important thing you can do for someone else is to make sure that they’re heard.
The best way to do this is to be interested in what they have to say and to continually ask follow-up questions.
Research from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology suggested that people who ask lots of questions when getting to know someone are rated as more likable than those who ask fewer questions.
It makes people feel respected and cared for.
3. They’re everyone’s cheerleader
Life is easier when you feel like you’ve got people behind you supporting you.
It’s hard to be around someone who doubts your direction in life and what you’re capable of.
It’s amazing how much more confidence someone can have when they’re around someone who supports them.
We all need cheerleaders in life, and we’re more excited to share our big dreams and plans with those who we know will be happy for us rather than negative or naysaying.
Encouraging people are quite frankly uplifting to be around. Compare that with those who critique or habitually pick apart your good ideas. It’s kind of a no-brainer over which you’d rather be, right?
Being an easy-to-be-around is all about showing that you want them to succeed in life.
It’s all about encouraging more than criticizing.
4. They’re not needy or clingy
People who are easy-to-be-around have a healthy level of self-respect, and that includes having boundaries.
They don’t rely on others to make them feel happy. They don’t dump their problems on others.
Being easy to be around is about being your own person, not pretending to be someone who you’re not – because that just causes problems in the long run.
If you are solely driven to please and seek approval from other people you may find yourself having to compromise important values. Or you may notice that rather than love being around you, which is the desired effect you were hoping for — instead people walk all over you.
That’s why you often find those pleasant personalities aren’t necessarily “yes people”.
They won’t jump on the bandwagon just to go along with the crowd, nor will they lie to your face because they think that’s what you want to hear.
Being honest and true to your own underlying principles is important, and when we go about it in the right way, it’s something we highly respect in others.
When you don’t have resentment and negativity brewing under the surface, you’re less likely to harbor negative energy.
5. They’re not afraid to compliment others
I’m not referring to meaningless praise here. I’m talking about a genuine compliment.
A person that is authentic is not afraid to give someone a genuine compliment when they mean it.
A genuine compliment makes everyone feel better. It’s nice to be acknowledged for the hard work you’ve put in when life can be so challenging.
When you give a genuine compliment, you are really saying that you see something special in that person.
Mandy Hale says it best:
“There is nothing more beautiful than someone who goes out of their way to make life beautiful for others.”
6. They work on accepting themselves
A person that accepts themselves for all that they are also has self-respect.
Being positive about yourself also makes you a more positive person to be around.
They don’t mean that they’re arrogant.
They treat themselves with respect and acknowledge that they’re not God’s gift to the world.
They are human, just like everyone else – with strengths and weaknesses.
When someone is humble and acknowledges their own weaknesses, it feels more real and authentic.
7. They have empathy
A person that is easy to be around is a great listener, and being a great listener involves putting yourself in their shoes.
They communicate that they understand other people’s feelings through sensitive and validating words.
When someone feels that you understand how they feel, they’ll open up to you more and feel comfortable.
This is a great way to deepen the relationship with others.
8. Be someone that people can rely on
We all like that one person we can depend on, particularly in a world where so many people are flaky.
Whilst we may be tolerant to a certain extent “flaky” personalities, ultimately it can get very tiresome.
If you are known for always backing out of plans last minute, or never doing what you promised you would — eventually people are going to stop asking you.
Most of us love to spend time with people who we know where we stand with. We can depend on them in the good times and the bad.
Being the pillar of strength that everyone can count on is an amazing feeling for any person.
A person who is easy to be around is someone that others can depend on because they know they won’t let them down.
Not only are you someone that others feel comfortable around, but you’re also reliable to have their back.
If people can count on you to stick to your promises, you’ll instantly be a person they like.
9. Smile a lot
I know this one is a little different from the traits above, but seeing people smile makes us feel good, especially when it’s genuine.
A person that smiles authentically is someone that feels friendly and welcoming. They’re easy to be around because you can’t help but feel good around them.
Giving the gift of a smile lets others know that you’re happy to see them and makes them feel welcome.
Research published in the journal Motivation and Emotion discovered that smiling is crucial to forming new friendships, as people are more attracted to positive emotions when they’re forming new relationships.
10. Make the right amount of eye contact
Eye contact is an important part of developing a connection with someone.
Now you don’t want to do eye contact too much (that can be weird) but you just want to do enough that makes people feel acknowledged and listened to.
When you don’t make enough eye contact, it’s just as bad as making too much.
Try this: look at them from the corner of your eye and then back at your conversation partner a few times while talking.
This will help in keeping the flow of conversation moving forward without interrupting it.
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