Paul Brian
Emotional intelligence makes a huge difference in life.
It’s the ability to understand, process and respond to emotions in yourself or someone else.
Here are the top personality traits of an emotionally intelligent man.
1) Attentiveness
The first of the top personality traits of an emotionally intelligent man is attentiveness.
This means that he pays attention to what others say to him and what’s going on around him.
Emotional intelligence requires being an attentive listener.
An emotionally intelligent man is willing and able to hear what others are saying and take it into account.
He considers the feelings and perspectives that he hears and navigates his way accordingly.
2) Openness
The next of the key personality traits of an emotionally intelligent man is openness.
The emotionally intelligent man is open to learning. That’s why he listens and pays attention as noted in the previous point.
But it’s not just that he physically listens and understands.
It’s that he’s open to truly considering the feelings and experiences of others. It’s not only about intellectually comprehending what somebody is saying.
It’s about emotional openness to walking in their shoes and hearing the feelings and experiences the other person is expressing.
3) Self-awareness
The emotionally intelligent man is self-aware. Part of his ability and willingness to understand others comes from his self understanding.
He knows his own limitations and imperfections and motivations.
He is open to learning more about his blind spots or areas where he may have a poor understanding of the emotions of others.
He is self-aware about how he was raised and his biases. He knows his triggers, traumas and sensitive subjects.
He never pretends to be impartial or superior, because he knows that we’re all imperfect and have our own faults and challenges.
4) Social awareness
Another of the crucial personality traits of an emotionally intelligent man is social awareness.
This means that a man quickly grasps the mood and “vibe” of any environment he’s in.
This helps avoid dangerous situations, avoid unnecessary conflict and make friends.
It also helps him in romance, as he has an intuitive and strong grasp of when somebody is interested or not and is able to mirror behavior more easily.
If she pulls away, he pulls away.
If core values don’t align, he begins retreating from the relationship.
5) Honesty
Emotional intelligence requires honesty.
An emotionally intelligent man is sincere with himself and with others.
He’s not only accountable to himself, he also honestly appraises his own pluses and minuses and hears others out about them.
He gives his best in relationships, work and all areas of his life, and when he falls short he owns up to it frankly and honestly.
Honesty is indispensable, because without honesty all the emotional intelligence in the world goes to waste.
Another very needed quality is the ability to talk about feelings clearly and express them.
Which brings me to point six…
6) Clear communication
One of the top personality traits of an emotionally intelligent man is that he’s a clear communicator.
He knows how to talk about his emotions and those of other people.
This means he engages in nonviolent communication and is able to express difficult emotions and complicated states without engaging in personal attacks or escalating a problem.
An emotionally intelligent man deals with problems head-on and says what he means.
For example, when faced with a person who’s playing the victim, an emotionally intelligent man will be able to call that individual out while also being empathetic at the same time.
“Yes, your situation is very hard and I empathize,” the emotionally intelligent man says. “But you are also buying too much into the victim mentality and it’s disempowering you.”
Sometimes hard truths simply must be told…
7) Courageous about conflict
Conflict happens at times, no matter how understanding people may try to be.
In some situations, two parties may simply both want the same thing and only two can get it.
For example, take a bidding war over a piece of real estate, or two men who are in love with the same woman.
The emotionally intelligent man is courageous about conflict and doesn’t try to deny it.
The difference between an emotionally intelligent man and a regular person getting into an argument or fight is that the emotionally intelligent guy doesn’t take it personally.
Even if he’s being personally attacked and insulted, he sees the pathetic and sad side of his attacker.
He seeks a solution and an outcome. He seeks victory, certainly. He wants to get his desired objective. Who doesn’t?
But he doesn’t dwell on the personal aspects. He faces conflict straight up and takes it on for what it is, rather than turning it into some psychodrama process.
8) Responsible
Being a responsible person is an incredibly undervalued trait.
We live in a society that encourages people to cut and run. They avoid the problem, duck responsibility and try to avoid all blame.
The emotionally intelligent man takes responsibility.
He owns up to his own part in situations, but he also takes extra responsibility voluntarily and mans up during a crisis or difficult situation.
He’s not trying to take a short cut or get away from stress, because he wants to find solutions instead of just being part of the problem.
9) Critical thinking
Next up in the top personality traits of an emotionally intelligent man is that he engages in critical thought.
This means that he is willing and able to challenge and examine his own assumptions and beliefs.
This is part of his overall self-awareness.
He knows there are far more experiences in the world than just his, and he respects and values that.
He enjoys learning and challenging assumptions and prejudices.
He’s willing to at least question long-standing beliefs and cultural or religious convictions and hear from people from all walks of life who have different feelings about these kinds of subjects.
10) Emotional discipline
Lastly and very importantly in the personality traits of an emotionally intelligent man is emotional discipline.
He feels strongly and may be prone to big ups and downs…
But the emotionally intelligent man is also able to restrain himself from acting impulsively or overly reactively in response to his emotions.
This comes into play in many situations, for example when he’s listening to someone he may find annoying or spoiled and feeling himself get angry.
The emotionally intelligent man is able to restrain his impulse to be rude or lash out due to his frustration.
This allows him to hear out that annoying individual and actually provide a thoughtful or helpful response, even if that proper response is politely excusing himself and leaving, instead of getting into a useless escalation.
Having a high EQ
Having a high emotional quotient (EQ) means your emotional intelligence is high.
Various tests can help you find out where you lie on the scale of emotional intelligence.
If you don’t score very well, don’t be discouraged. Emotional intelligence can be developed and consciously improved:
The first step is to start listening, reserve judgment and put yourself in another person’s shoes.
You’ll find that you begin to empathize a lot more with those around you, even those you may not particularly like.
