Since ancient times, farmers have separated the wheat from the chaff.
When it comes to being a man, there are also character traits that set you apart from others and make you a truly high value man.
Here they are.
20 traits of a high value man
1) He stands by his word
One of the top traits of a high value man that separates him from everyone else is that he stands by his word.
If he agrees to a business deal with a handshake, he sticks to that deal later when the contract is drawn up.
If he tells you he’s going to help you move next week, he shows up with his work boots and a smile.
Of course no man is perfect:
Sometimes he has to cancel, gets sick or has something come up.
But if he gives you his word, you can be sure he will do his level best to stick to it.
2) He looks after his body
You don’t have to be Leonardo DiCaprio or Chris Hemsworth to be a high value man.
Not all of us got hit over the head with the handsome stick.
But a high value man does look after his body.
He works out, runs, swims, exercises, maybe even does yoga.
He puts a premium on his own physical health as well, including dieting and adjusting what he eats in order to feel and look his best.
The core motivation behind all these actions isn’t vanity, it’s self-respect and discipline.
A high value man is disciplined and respects himself, and that’s why he does his best to look after his body.
3) He looks after his mind
Another of the top traits of a high value man that separates him from everyone else is that he looks after his mind.
The high value man knows that caring about mental health isn’t some girly trend or something that makes him “weak.”
He understands that your emotional and mental wellbeing is key to everything else in your life.
And that if you let yourself become enmired in a toxic pattern of reacting to difficult emotions and situations you can torpedo your life.
That just won’t do. So the high value man commits to improve and optimize his mental health as much as possible.
4) He supports his friends
A high value man sticks by his friends through thick and thin.
The only thing he doesn’t do is that he doesn’t brook betrayal and backstabbing.
But if you get sick, disagree with him, have a hard time or are apart for a long time, he’s still got your back.
He will stick by and support his friends no matter what happens and he will look after them however he can.
This includes financially helping out when necessary, taking friends to doctor’s appointments, helping research topics that friends need to know about and offering timely advice.
A man who’s worth his salt never lets down his friends.
5) He’s loyal in love
High value men don’t pump and dump.
If they like a woman they pursue her and woo her. If they don’t like a woman they’re honest up front and tell her that they’re not feeling it.
High value men commit to relationships and communicate.
They don’t play around or cheat, because if they want to break up they’ll be brave and open about it instead of sneaking around behind their girlfriend or wife’s back.
The fact of the matter is:
High value men give it their all or go home.
There really is no in-between.
6) He’s not a good guy
One of the other things that sets apart a high value man is that he’s not a good guy.
Many men are “nice guys” who end up getting left behind and curse the world – and women – for the injustice of life.
But the truth is that for as long as you think of yourself as a “good” and “nice” person, you’ll be severely limited from actually exploring your full potential.
A high value man is courageous enough to drop the labels.
He doesn’t need to think of himself as a good person anymore.
He’s more interested in letting actions speak louder than words, and he’s faced the darker side of himself without flinching and with full honesty.
7) He dresses the part
A high value man cares about his style. He isn’t necessarily a metrosexual or a high fashion queen, but he’s far from a slouch either.
He buys shirts that go well with his pants, enjoys wearing shoes that are in good condition and wears tasteful accessories like rings, bracelets and manly watches.
He dresses the part because he is living up to a certain image of himself for himself.
This is not about showing off to the world that he has a nice Armani watch or that his comfortable pants go just right with his brown penny loafers.
It’s about feeling great in his own skin and reminding himself every minute that he is a person of value who cares how he looks and feels.
8) His hygiene is high
Hygiene is hard. Let’s be honest: there are days when brushing your teeth feels like an unbelievable hassle, much less showering and trimming your beard or shaving.
But a high value man does these things with military precision.
His hygiene is high and you won’t catch him with bad breath or wearing soiled shorts.
He doesn’t expect anyone else to pick up his slack, dress him or look after his hygiene: he handles it himself.
And even if he’s just had an intense workout, he takes the time to rinse off in the shower and pass a comb through his hair before walking out.
Because that’s just how he rolls.
9) He earns a decent living
High value men are not materialistic or obsessed with buying new cars and huge mansions.
But they do care about earning enough money to have a decent life and look after those they love.
As men’s corporate image consultant Kevin Samuels explains, high value men have always existed.
And like it or not, one of the key parts of being a high value man is earning enough money to live comfortably and provide for others.
10) He knows his own values
One of the most crucial traits of a high value man that separates him from everyone else is that he knows his own values.
And not only does he know them, he sticks to them.
Come rain or shine, he’s a man of principle.
Sometimes that means telling a white lie or doing some other slightly unethical things, but a man of value always has a hierarchy or priorities.
For example, if he has to lie about his schedule this weekend in order to lie to a telemarketer who wants to sell him a cruise, he’ll do it.
He also won’t do what Keegan-Michael Key of the comedy duo Key and Peele does in this hilarious skit:
11) He’s generous
Another one of the important trait of a high value man that separates him from everyone else is that he’s generous.
In a me-first world, he’s ready and willing to sometimes put others first.
He’s not a selfless simp by any means…
But he is a guy who’s not afraid to give.
And if and when he can, he will help out and be there for his friends, and sometimes even strangers.
Even if it’s just with some kind words or a cup of coffee when they need it most.
12) He’s confident
High value men are confident.
There’s no other way to say it.
They know their value, as I said, and they demonstrate that in their job and their interpersonal relations.
They don’t buy into ideas like being an “alpha male,” but they are competent and ready to stand up when the going gets tough.
As Min Liu writes in his book The High Value Man: Principles of Positive Masculinity:
“Men have lost their way…
“Men have now veered off onto two different paths in terms of their manhood and masculinity.”
Both fall far short of what a high value man should aim for.
13) He cares about his family
A high value man is a family man. At the same time, he values his independence and never lets family members take him over or spread toxic energy into his life.
He deals with family problems with understanding and patience, but he’s never a sop or a doormat for the problems of parents, siblings or extended relatives.
He’s a man you can trust and rely on.
But never a man you can take advantage of.
14) He avoids black-and-white thinking
A low value man engages frequently in black-and-white thinking.
If he has a breakup he bemoans that he’ll “never” meet the right woman and “always” be alone.
If he meets a new partner who he’s very into he’s joyous about how he’s now “made it” and life will be “peaches” from here on out.
No, no, no…
The high value man doesn’t play these harmful games. He knows that the best and worst times in life can always change.
And he manages to control and mediate his emotions even during the best and worst of times so that he doesn’t spin out of control into irrational and impulsive behavior.
A high value man can control himself and his reactions to life, at least more so than your average low value man.
15) He cares about his diet
They say that you are what you eat, and a high value man takes that seriously.
He’s not finicky or obsessive about his food and diet, but he cares and he does pay attention.
He won’t be the one at the buffet heaping French fries on his plate and slathering them with ketchup.
He’ll be the man serving a nice slice of roast beef and a medium portion of salad with some vegetables.
Because he cares about himself and can put off immediate gratification enough to do what’s best for his body.
16) He has practical knowledge and curiosity
Being a high value man isn’t just a matter of looking and feeling great.
It’s also a matter of what’s in your cranium.
And a high value man has goals, priorities and curiosity about everything under the sun.
While he has improved his ability to focus and hone in on one skill, he also tends to be something of a Renaissance man, dabbling a bit in many areas.
He always has something he’s working on and whether it’s basic mechanics or restructuring his company with a new vision, he’s on target and on task in new and exciting ways at all times.
As Acie Mitchell puts it in How to Be a High Value Man: The Blueprint to Success With Women:
“A man can enhance his eligibility for being high-value by always being purpose-driven and having his priorities in order.”
17) He turns anger into his ally
We all get angry sometimes, and that’s not always a bad thing. Sometimes there are good reasons to get angry.
It’s a natural emotion.
But when anger has no outlet it can stew and fester, becoming mental and physical illness.
The high value man doesn’t get stuck in this trap.
He turns anger into his ally, channeling it into causes and passions that make his life and the world a better place.
Instead of using his anger to destroy, he uses it to build.
18) He’s in touch with his creative side
A high value man is in touch with his creative side.
He likes to use his imagination to make the world a better place and to build a better life for those he cares about.
He’s an innovator and an explorer at heart.
And even if it’s just repairing the toaster, you could pick him out of a lineup of 50 people from a mile away just by the energy and know-how bristling off him…
19) He doesn’t hold grudges
A high value man doesn’t hold grudges. He has his clashes and his conflicts, but he works through them and resolves them as much as possible.
Holding on to hate just isn’t for him.
As the character James (played by Tim McGraw) says in the excellent Western show 1883, holding on to hate just drags you down with it.
The man of high value knows that very well.
He does his best to let hate go.
20) He works hard
Last and perhaps most of all, a high value man works hard.
He doesn’t have to be a celebrity or a brilliant author or a musician who rocks the world. He may be a road paver or a garbage man.
But he works damn hard and he ends the day with a stretch and a feeling that he’s done his part.
Because he has.
And ultimately if you can say that at the end of the day, you yourself are a high value man.
Putting yourself first
Hey, Lachlan from Hack Spirit here.
What’s your number one goal at the moment?
Is it to buy that car you’ve been saving up for?
To finally start that side-hustle that’ll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day?
Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in?
Whatever it is, you’re not going to get there, unless you’ve got a plan.
And even then…plans fail.
But I didn’t write this to you to be the voice of doom and gloom…
No, I’m writing this because I want to help you achieve the goals you’ve set.
I’ve recently been taking part in a workshop called Life Journal created by teacher and career coach Jeanette Brown.
Covering all the basics and more on what’s needed to reach your goals, Jeannette tackles everything from creating habits and new behavior patterns to putting your plans into action.
She doesn’t mess around – this workshop will require effort on your part but that’s the beauty of it – Jeanette has carefully designed it to put YOU in the driving seat of your life.
So…think back to that important goal I asked about at the start of this message.
How much do you want it?
Are you willing to put the effort in to get there?
If so, check out the workshop here.
If you do take part, I’d love to hear how your Life Journey goes!
All the best,