Do you have a fiery personality that others find intimidating?
If so, you leave your mark on the world with a sizzle.
There are pluses and minuses to having a fiery personality if you know how to maximize the benefits.
Here’s a guide:
15 traits of a fiery personality that others find intimidating
1) Intense charisma and a magnetic personality
One of the top traits of a fiery personality that others find intimidating is having intense charisma.
The individual with a fiery personality tends to draw others toward them and attract an audience.
When they speak, others listen.
When they get angry, people get upset.
It’s fair to say that those with a fiery personality draw others to them but they can also burn people with the energy.
This mercurial, dynamic energy can be attractive but it can also be intimidating, especially to those who are more shy and less confident.
2) Operating at a cranked up level
Another one of the most important traits of a fiery personality that others find intimidating is overall energy level.
The fiery personality individual is usually very high energy. They get up early and go to bed late.
They party like a rockstar and then work like a monk.
They are never in-between: they’re either fully cranked on or they’re off.
When they’re going through a bad time they can become the world’s most depressed and angry person.
When they’re going through a happy time they can boost anyone’s mood.
This intense emotional expressiveness can be very intimidating for others, who are sometimes unsure about how to respond.
“Some may see a fiery personality as irritable and some see it as heroic. How you see this depends on what personality you are.”
3) Speaking quickly or at high volume
If you have a fiery personality, you tend to speak quickly and loudly. It’s nothing personal, it’s just how you operate.
The thing is that for people moving at a lower gear, this behavior can be intimidating and overwhelming.
The fiery personality individual may look like they’re completely jacked up on caffeine, for example, when in reality their hyper and excited behavior is just who they are.
It can lead to super results at work and a lot of daily activities, but it can also be like watching someone move at double speed through life.
This can take some getting used to for others, but another positive is that once you’re conscious of behaving this way you can try to tone it down a bit.
4) Sticking to decisions at all costs
Most of us need a fair bit of validation and reassurance. We find it hard to make decisions or put our foot down.
People with a fiery personality don’t have that issue. When they commit to something they mean it.
The same goes for when they turn something – or someone – down. They stick to it, which can be intimidating and off-putting if you’re not used to someone who’s highly decisive and who doesn’t change their mind.
“These individuals never look for validation. They are confident and sure of themselves to the extent that they will not cower or accept something they do not truly believe in. Such individuals will say no and mean it.
“No amount of convincing or intimidation will force them to change their mind if they believe in something,” notes Tuandike Sasa.
5) Falling deeply in love quickly and taking breakups very badly
Intense people with fiery personalities tend to be romantics. They fall in love quickly or not at all…
And if and when a relationship doesn’t work out, they hit subterranean levels and may see it as the end of their life.
Needless to say, this puts a ton of pressure on relationships and can doom them from the start.
The fact is that it intimidates others with more sanguine personalities to meet someone who’s more of an “all or nothing” type.
But that’s just how fiery personalities roll.
6) Having intense passions and niche interests
People with a fiery personality tend to be very passionate about their interests whether or not other people share them.
This can be fascinating if they get you interested in what they’re into, but it can also be intimidating if you get someone talking at you about rare orchid horticulture for an hour straight…
Or going off about rocket propulsion when you thought you were just going to a friendly neighborhood barbecue…
People with a fiery personality often develop very “niche” interests which others don’t share.
That’s cool! It’s just sometimes that it can be a bit overwhelming for others to hear about it at length.
7) Little to no patience for small talk and chit chat
People with fiery personalities like to talk about exciting things and do exciting things.
When chit chat comes up about the weather or gossip about someone, they roll their eyes.
It’s not that they’re too moral to engage in gossip, it’s just that they want to focus on fascinating big topics or projects.
The idea of sitting around wasting the day away doesn’t appeal to them.
As American Recruiters observes about those with a fiery personality:
“You do not appreciate small talk and neither do you indulge in them quite often. Deep and serious conversations which involve participation of the intellect is something that interests you.
“Petty conversations concerning the weather or the glamour world do not catch your attention. You are in fact infuriated if someone interrupts you with their small talk.”
8) Becoming very passionate about causes close to their heart
On a related note, another one of the most noticeable traits of a fiery personality that others find intimidating is that they become very wrapped up in causes close to their heart.
Whether it’s ending animal cruelty or climate change, the fiery personality becomes committed to causes with all their time and energy.
They may even miss work or overlook dates and appointments because of their involvement in voluntary or charitable causes.
The fiery individual may also begin to see the world through a lens of the issues they care most about, judging others and society through the lens of what they regard as defining moral causes.
This can be intimidating to others, who may feel overshadowed and may also feel judged for not being committed enough.
9) Walking fast and having dominant body language
One of the things that intense fiery people tend to do is they move quickly and have dominant body language.
This can include a very upright posture, brisk pace when walking, and gestures that are forceful, charismatic or emotionally intense.
This can draw people to them, but it can also be intimidating.
Fiery personalities often rise up the ranks to leadership positions, but they can have a hard time building bridges with employees and colleagues.
They can often become seen as somewhat apart or different and be left to drive in their own lane because of their more dominant and intense behavior.
10) Getting a lot more done than most other people
Actions speak louder than words, and intense and fiery people tend to have a lot of strong results.
They work hard and commit wholeheartedly, and this pays off big.
The result is often that they end up getting a lot more done than more “chill” people.
This can be intimidating, because it more or less raises the bar for everyone else and establishes a new standard for people to measure themselves against.
The fiery person may not mean anything by it, it’s just that they tend to be very driven and this inevitably leads to a lot of big accomplishments.
“You are powerful and able to handle so much more than other people.
“You are a strong and independent individual. Nothing can hold you back.”
11) Responding poorly to complaining or people who feel victimized
Another one of the biggest traits of a fiery personality that others find intimidating is that they tend to respond poorly to those who complain or play the victim.
This can come across as being uncompassionate or uncaring, but really it’s just a dislike of the victim narrative.
Fiery personalities may have felt victimized themselves at times and found that it led down a useless and depressing path, so they hate to see others indulge in it, too.
When you get under the surface of their “toughness,” fiery individuals are usually highly compassionate.
But nonetheless, their outer drive and dislike of complaining can be intimidating to others at times, especially when first meeting them.
12) Calling people out when they disagree or are upset with them
Another of the top traits of a fiery personality that others find intimidating is that they will call someone out when they disagree, or find the other person’s actions or words upsetting.
This is hard to take for those who are used to a more low-key approach.
While it is very honest and direct, this trait can cause conflict instead of de-escalating it.
It’s one of the qualities of a fiery person that some people may find intimidating.
This trait can lead to respect, but at the same time can cause people to become hesitant or worried of offending the fiery individual when they’re around them.
13) Making intense and prolonged eye contact
They say the eyes are the window to the soul, and that’s always been my experience as well.
One of the traits of a fiery personality that others find intimidating is that they often make prolonged and intense eye contact.
This can feel like someone is “staring into your soul” and be a lot for other people.
On the one hand, eye contact is a good way to establish trust and intimacy.
On the other hand, however, too much of it can be overwhelming, so it’s a matter of balance.
14) The potential to get clingy and intense when they feel strongly
This is related to the point about how people with fiery personalities tend to love deeply.
Going along with that, when they are having romantic feelings, the intense fiery individual can become a bit needy and clingy.
They see a good thing and just want more of it.
This erasure of personal boundaries can wreak havoc in a relationship and lead to codependency.
Fiery people have so much love to give, but sometimes they try to push it all out at once, and too rapidly.
“Your personality is a little too intense sometimes. You love hard and care deeply.
“Most people find this to be somewhat suffocating,” writes Sinclair.
15) Expressing strong opinions openly and without apology
Another one of the traits of a fiery personality that others find intimidating is their ability to be very up-front with strong opinions and points of view.
They don’t hold back or self-censor by any means, even if they know their views could cause a stir or upset people.
This can lead to some uncomfortable feelings in those who don’t like intense discussions.
“If you have an intimidating personality, you aren’t swayed by others and you aren’t afraid to take part in a lively debate,” notes Francesca Forsythe.
“In themselves, these traits are not automatically intimidating, but they can leave people feeling a little nervous.”
How to go from intimidating to inspiring
The great news, is that all the traits which can be intimidating can also be inspiring.
All that’s necessary is to change the style of delivery.
For example, if you tend to talk in a booming or dominant voice, adjust it slightly so it’s loud and firm but not aggressive.
If you have very dominant body language and posture that makes others a bit scared, try relaxing your shoulders a little and consciously chilling out as you go about your day.
If you express your opinion very forcibly and get upset when people disagree, try instead to reserve judgment when people tell you things you don’t agree with.
If you’re an intimidating person because of your fiery personality, there’s enormous potential to become an inspiring person as well!
Putting yourself first
Hey, Lachlan from Hack Spirit here.
What’s your number one goal at the moment?
Is it to buy that car you’ve been saving up for?
To finally start that side-hustle that’ll hopefully help you quit your 9-5 one day?
Or to take the leap and finally ask your partner to move in?
Whatever it is, you’re not going to get there, unless you’ve got a plan.
And even then…plans fail.
But I didn’t write this to you to be the voice of doom and gloom…
No, I’m writing this because I want to help you achieve the goals you’ve set.
I’ve recently been taking part in a workshop called Life Journal created by teacher and career coach Jeanette Brown.
Covering all the basics and more on what’s needed to reach your goals, Jeannette tackles everything from creating habits and new behavior patterns to putting your plans into action.
She doesn’t mess around – this workshop will require effort on your part but that’s the beauty of it – Jeanette has carefully designed it to put YOU in the driving seat of your life.
So…think back to that important goal I asked about at the start of this message.
How much do you want it?
Are you willing to put the effort in to get there?
If so, check out the workshop here.
If you do take part, I’d love to hear how your Life Journey goes!
All the best,