Most cool people either deny that they’re cool, or are unaware that people think they are.
If you’re curious if you’re what people would consider cool, here are some traits of cool people that can’t be faked.
Find out how many you can relate to.
1) They have a comforting presence
While it might sound like a mismatch of temperatures, cool people are quite consistently described as having a “warm” or “comforting” presence by others.
They make people around them at ease, and their mere presence is often enough to defuse a tense situation.
People like hanging around them because of that, and they’re often considered the “glue” that holds their friend groups together.
2) They’re well-mannered (but not boring)
It’s easy to assume that being “cool” means not giving a damn about things. But on the contrary, what makes them cool is the fact that they care for and respect others.
To them, the least they could do is to offer people the respect and care that they deserve, after all.
But this doesn’t mean they’re such a stickler for the rules that they’re a killjoy—they know which social rules are okay to break from time to time.
3) They’re authentic
A cool person doesn’t hide who they are, no matter what reasons one might have.
They don’t do it to look more “respectable”, and especially not to “fit in” or make themselves look cool.
Sure, some people might dislike them for it—like being told that they’re too “screechy”, or “too honest”—but as far as they’re concerned, they’d be lying to people if they pretend to be someone they’re not.
As long as they’re not hurting anyone, a cool person isn’t afraid to show their authentic, unfiltered self.
4) They have a good sense of humor
A lot of people would insist that good humor needs someone to be the “butt” of the joke, and that it’s only normal for it to cause offense.
But cool people know how to make jokes without making anyone uncomfortable and offended, and can lift people’s spirits even in dark times.
They won’t always appeal to everyone—some might consider their jokes trashy or even too mild—but that’s just how they roll. They enjoy it when people laugh with them!
5) They’re not needy and demanding
Let’s be real. It’s hard to say that someone is “cool” if they’re always needy and demanding.
On the contrary, cool people are quite self-assured and don’t need to be catered to 24/7. They won’t mind if their friends haven’t talked to them in a while, and they won’t demand to talk with the manager because their coffee was a little cold.
They can understand that their friends aren’t always going to have the time for them, and that a cold cup of coffee isn’t necessarily the end of the world.
6) They’re not bossy
But don’t take this to mean that they don’t know how to lead. If anything, they’re often quite good leaders, and that’s because they know how to take charge without being overbearing or domineering.
They earn their coworkers’ respect, rather than demand it.
And for this reason, people are actually quite likely to get more things done under their leadership.
7) They’re genuinely curious about others
The thing with cool people is that when they express an interest in others, they will do so with a genuine need to learn about people and understand them.
They don’t simply engage in a conversation so that they can bring the conversation back to them, or so that they can “debate” that person about what they just said.
They really want to know!
8) They don’t like gossip
While a cool person is naturally interested in others, they also know not to engage in gossip or to put their trust in hearsay.
And that’s because they not only respect others’ right to privacy, they also understand that gossip isn’t even reliable in the first place.
So as far as they’re concerned, gossip is just a waste of time, and they’re better off trying to make genuine connections instead.
9) They don’t engage in drama
They want to keep their lives as free of petty drama as possible. So even when they are in conflict with someone, they would rather resolve it in private.
But don’t take this to mean that they’re spineless cowards.
They’re simply more emotionally mature than most and when left with no choice, or if the issue is actually quite serious, they will happily stand up and fight.
10) They value their peace of mind
A cool person values their peace of mind, and has no issues turning down something—even if it’s their “dream job” or their “ideal partner”—if they could see that it would compromise their peace of mind.
And this is because they have plenty of self-respect to spare.
They’re not so desperate for love or having a career that they would be willing to make their lives a living hell.
11) They rarely overthink
Overthinking causes a lot of needless suffering. Most of the time we simply end up hurting ourselves over problems that exist purely in our heads.
Cool people know that, so instead of worrying themselves sick and always doubting everything they do, they try to keep themselves calm and grounded.
This way, even when things ARE as bad as they imagined, they can at least try to approach it with a level head.
12) They believe people are naturally good
One of the reasons why cool people are so calm and collected is because they choose to believe that people are naturally good. And because of this, they will gladly offer people the benefit of the doubt.
But, mind you, they’re not naive.
They do know that bad people exist and they take precautions to keep themselves safe. Nonetheless, they don’t let the existence of a few bad apples spoil the whole bunch for them.
13) They’re very appreciative
One thing that makes cool people particularly special is that they don’t expect a lot from anything or anyone.
And because they expect less, they’re very appreciative of every little good thing that’s in front of them—from the nice weather to the free lunch at work.
They’ve very expressive about it, too. They’d candidly (but genuinely) say “thank you” to anyone that has made their day a little brighter.
14) They don’t overreact
Cool people know how to handle their emotions so that even if they hear bad news or they experience something life-altering—like seeing their girlfriend having dinner with another guy— they don’t lash out.
They get affected by those situations for sure (they’re not robots!), but they don’t get hysterical like it’s the end of the world.
They’d instead calm themselves down and avoid catastrophizing and jumping to conclusions.
15) They’re not judgmental
A cool person is cool to everyone. They don’t select the person they’d show kindness towards…and that’s because they don’t judge anyone—not the misfits, not the ones involved in polyamory, not the 40-year-old gamers.
For them, everyone is interesting and deserving of respect. In fact, the more unique a person is, the more interesting they are to their eyes.
And because cool people don’t put anyone in “boxes”, they treat everyone the same way because they see everyone the same way—interesting human beings, each one with their own unique qualities and lives.
16) They’re always open to new things and ideas
A cool person is usually adventurous.
They want to try new things and experiences—from exotic dishes to weird business ventures to crazy hairstyles.
They’re willing to experience anything at least once…well, as long as they don’t get in trouble or harm anyone, of course.
17) They make others feel good about themselves
A cool person is fun to be with because they don’t give off a bitchy, judgmental, toxic vibe. They can easily make anyone feel at ease…but not only that, they can make people around them feel good about themselves.
I’m not saying that they kiss their ass and shower them with praise. They’re not fake so they’d never do that.
Instead, they can make others feel seen, understood, and very much welcome to show their true selves.
18) They are self-assured
You know how a cool person can be all of the things mentioned above? Well, it’s simple: they like themselves.
I’m not saying that they are full of themselves (the ones who exhibit this trait are usually the insecure ones). I’m saying that they’re totally comfortable in their own skin and with their life choices.
They’re confident of their abilities and they find no need to prove to anyone that they’re great.
Because of this, they’re not anxious, they don’t feel threatened by anyone, and they don’t project insecurities on others.
No wonder cool people are truly enjoyable to be with.
If you want to be cool, you need to do more than just meditation and anger management exercises. You have to change how you see yourself and the world, too.
Once you’ve convinced yourself that you don’t always have to hustle hard, that you don’t always have to be the best at everything, and that people are actually awesome (and that includes you), becoming cool will become easy as pie.