8 personality traits that set confident men apart

We sometimes include products we think are useful for our readers. If you buy through links on this page, we may earn a small commission. Read our affiliate disclosure.

Picture this:

You meet two tall and well-built men with charming smiles, strong jawlines, well-dressed and well-off standing side-by-side. 

They look very similar at first glance and both are decent, kind and honest guys. 

They seem like two winners and men of the world. Impressive guys. Solid guys. The kind who would catch any woman’s eye.

But there’s a catch…

Despite outer appearances, on getting to know these individuals you find that one is failing in almost every area of his life and completely disrespected and miserable, while the other is a highly confident winner who acts as a magnet to those around him. 

What key traits define the difference between the confident man and the low-T loser?

1. Goal-driven 

First off in the personality traits that set confident men apart, is being goal-driven

You can be ripped, rich and really good looking, but if you don’t have goals you’re not going to be notable in any real way. 

If you lack goals, you’re eventually going to sink into mediocrity, not only outwardly, but internally. 

The confident man is set apart by his drive and purpose. 

He has a unique purpose in his life and he pursues that with passion, learning from his mistakes and failures and doubling down on his successes. 

2. Action-oriented

Next up in the personality traits that set confident men apart is being action-oriented. 

Many guys talk a big game and build up a reputation through looks or being friends with the right people. 

But at the end of the day, being action-oriented is essential to be a truly confident, stand-out man. 

The truly confident man is not spending his time crafting the perfect image or being popular on social media. 

He’s not focused on marketing or what people think of him and whether society approves. 

He’s focused on his goals and taking action in the direct pursuit of those goals. He’ll work with those who aid in that objective and push aside or bypass those who don’t. 

Full stop. 

3. Hard-working

Next in the personality traits that set confident men apart is that he is hard-working. 

This is a word that gets thrown around a lot, so much so, in fact, that it’s become a cliche. 

But being hard-working is a real quality and personality trait. 

It means dedicating your time and energy to getting the job done and to doing your best in what you set your mind to. 

The truly confident man is set apart by his work ethic. 

He works hard and applies all his energy and attention to the task at hand. 

He also knows when to take a break and relax. 

4. Plain-spoken 

Next up in the personality traits that set confident men apart is that he is plain-spoken. 

He doesn’t use flowery language or talk too much without a good reason. 

He lives by the maxim “short and sweet.”

He says what he means and talks up when necessary, but he’s not interested in engaging in trivial chat topics or talking solely for the sake of moving his mouth. 

Staying silent when you could speak unnecessarily is a deep power move. 

Many men expose their lack of confidence and self-value by trying to fill every quiet moment with the sound of their own voice. 

It’s not only annoying and unnecessary, it’s fundamentally insecure to talk all the time for no good reason.

5. Victim-avoidant

Another of the crucial personality traits that set confident men apart is that he is victim-avoidant.

He avoids playing the victim and he avoids those who do so. 

We are all victimized and treated unfairly at times. Bad luck is real. 

But a genuinely confident man is inherently repelled by his own inner victim and when he sees others doing so around him. 

It becomes so ingrained that it’s almost instinctive. 

He knows that emphasizing victimization weakens and disempowers you, so he avoids this behavior and mentality like the plague. 

When injustice and suffering has occurred, the confident man seeks to address it head-on, but he never looks for favors or what he’s “owed” due to being victimized. 

Life just doesn’t work that way. 

6. Sexually-selective

The loser mindset takes what it gets. The loser mindset just takes the easiest route and responds to frustration and disappointment by looking for an easier solution. 

The winner mindset takes what it wants and responds to not getting what it wants by leveling up, improving himself and becoming more patient, committed and self-sufficient. 

The loser responds to rejection and disappointment by doubting his worth. 

The winner responds to rejection and disappointment by using that pain as fuel and never doubting his worth for one f*cking second. 

He’s not going to let others define his value, even if those others are sexually attractive women and mates. 

He knows his worth and he’s selective by choice in all areas of life. 

This extends into dating and sex. 

A truly confident man is sexually selective. He’s picky. 

Even if he’s just looking for something casual, he never “takes what he can get.”

If he’s not physically attracted, his doesn’t do the deed. And when it comes to romance and pursuing something serious, he’s even more serious… 

7. Romantically-realistic

The next of the personality traits that set confident men apart is that they are romantically-realistic. 

They don’t make promises they don’t mean and they are honest about how they feel. 

They pursue somebody they truly have feelings for and let anyone else down easy. 

They are sincere when in love and face breakups head-on. 

It’s very difficult to accept the limits of your own control in love, but a confident man understands that you can’t ever make anyone fall in love with you. 

By the same token, he never tries to force feelings in himself or talk himself into anything. 

If he’s committed, he’s committed. That’s it. 

8. Spiritually-sound

Last and very importantly in the personality traits that set confident men apart is that he’s spiritually-sound. 

This means that he knows what his core values are and what drives him at a deeper level. 

He may be an atheist and materialist, but if so, the confident man is firm in that. 

He’s always open to learning and meeting those from different paths of life, but he’s never using the world as his spiritual test lab. 

In other words, he works out his issues on his own and with those he trusts, instead of demanding that “the world” give him answers. 

He knows that it is ultimately up to him to determine his religious or spiritual beliefs and nobody else will do it for him, even if he was raised in a particular culture or faith. 

This brings him enormous confidence, because his convictions are his, not a loan, nor merely culturally bequeathed. 

Leveling up 

Every man has the capacity for confidence inside himself. 

Men of all personality types and walks of life have enormous potential inside them. 

The key that unlocks that door is a combination of the right situation and the right personal attitude and actions. 

The confident man is a man who builds himself up to his maximum integrity and personal power so that he is primed and ready for the right situation to rise to his full potential and glory.


14 signs you’re an ambitious person (who some mistake as arrogant)

10 things to do when your wife says she loves you but doesn’t show it