Pearl Nash
You have your niche interests and a unique way of seeing the world. It’s great, but it has also made you feel incredibly lonely.
Don’t fret. Wherever you may be, however “weird” you are, you can still find your tribe if you just put in some effort.
In this article, I will guide you on how to find like-minded people who truly get you.
1) Know yourself a little better
Before you go out and try to make a grand search for others like you, you need to first understand who you truly are.
What are the values you live by?
What are the things you don’t want in your life?
What are the things that you DO want in your life?
What are you willing to die for?
You don’t have to know yourself 100% of course (no one actually gets there), but you need to have a good enough understanding of what you want in your life if you want to find the right crowd for you.
After all, if you know you dislike inviting drama in your life, then you know that you should pay attention to and stay away from drama-mongers, for example.
This will ultimately save you time because you’ll be more definite of the kind of people you’re looking for.
2) Do more of the things you’re passionate about
The best way to find your people is to take initiative and do the things that you love.
The more you do stuff, the more chances you’ll meet like-minded people—plain and simple.
If you love animals, for example, the best way to find your tribe is by volunteering at a local shelter.
And if you love art, then instead of simply musing that you wish you knew how to make art… go out and look for art classes.
It’s a no-brainer that the people who like certain interests would gravitate towards doing things that fulfill those interests. So by actually getting involved, you’re putting yourself in a position to meet and interact with like-minded people.
3) Share your interests
As I just mentioned, it’s great to actually DO things. But there are also lifestyles and interests where doing doesn’t necessarily expose you to your crowd.
Consider abstract ideas and causes like being an atheist or fighting against racial discrimination, for example.
So it’s also important for you to make yourself known by sharing your opinions and ideas with others.
You can make a youtube channel or blog where you talk about your interests for hours on end, and you can also try raising the topic during parties and other get-togethers.
Just be aware if you’re talking in person that not everyone will welcome all topics.
4) Have more one-on-one conversations
Big groups are good ways to get a general idea for what people like. But not everyone feels comfortable speaking up in a crowd, and you really can’t know someone unless you’ve spoken in private.
So if you truly want to know people, you should set aside time to talk to them either one-on-one or in small groups (3-4 people is ideal).
You’ll have more time to ask them about the causes they’re passionate about or the hobbies they’re currently engaged in without others talking over them or interrupting the conversation.
And most of all, you’ll be able to have deeper, more insightful conversations about important matters that will eventually make you assess if you actually do think alike.
5) Don’t filter yourself
The people who are best at finding people like them are those who are not afraid to be blunt. They say what’s truly on their mind!
So when there’s something you have strong opinions for—say, adoration for a piece of art or discomfort towards a decision made by your boss—then say so!
This kind of honesty is the fastest way to find people who think like you and have them say “I’m glad you said that. That’s EXACTLY what I was thinking too!”
And that could be the start of a good friendship.
It’s certainly better to run the risk of being “hated” for your honesty than to constantly hide your opinions under fifty layers of sugarcoating.
6) Hang out with your like-minded friends more often
Like attracts like, and if you want to meet more people like you, then you should hang around your like-minded friends more.
Not only will you get to forge stronger bonds with those friends, chances are that their friends will also share their interests—and likely yours—one way or another.
And you don’t even have to consciously chase after people, too. Hang out with them and you’ll eventually find people who you’ll end up vibing with.
I can attest to this personally, because it’s exactly how my friend groups grew. Friendships sprout like mushrooms once you find one or two people who think like you.
7) Make it impossible for them to ignore you
That is to say, be proud and loud about who you are and what you do.
Wear a statement shirt for the causes you believe in. Put stickers about your beliefs on your laptops and phones. Join marches, rallies, and conventions.
Whether it’s about serious issues like environmentalism and civil rights or pastimes like tabletops and gaming, the point is to make it hard not to notice you and who you are.
People who think like you will be emboldened to approach you first because you already have something to talk about.
8) Offer help
A good way to be liked by like-minded people is to be generous. Go ahead and help them out!
If you’re into filmmaking, then you might want to shoot an email and ask if you can help them in any way.
If you’re into art, then you can share your learning resources to others, or even help tutor a newbie.
And if you are into fighting for a cause like animal rights, then you can give donations to animal shelters that you know need help.
The good thing about offering to do something is that not only will you meet like-minded folks, you’re actually going to be doing something together…and this will greatly deepen your bond.
9) Find your tribe online
The power of the internet to connect like-minded people should not be underestimated. Chances are that if your interests are particularly niche, or if you live in a small town, then the internet is your best option.
You can look for and hang out in subreddits or groups dedicated to your interest, or you can look for people on twitter who talk about the things you’re interested in.
For some introverted folks, it might still be a bit scary. But so long as you observe basic internet safety practices, you should be perfectly fine getting to know like-minded people online.
10) Be the first one to say hi
The best way to get things done is to go out and make sure you get things done.
Surrounding yourself with like-minded people doesn’t mean much if you don’t try to reach out to people yourself. Chances are that other people actually want to know you, but have been too shy to reach out. You might as well be the one to break the ice.
And this applies to both online and offline interactions. Be the first one to send that DM, or reach out and offer help when you see someone struggling.
It’s not easy to find like-minded folks. So if you see one, don’t miss your chance to stay in touch.
11) Start a group
This requires more effort than most of the things mentioned here, but what’s awesome is that you’ll be helping other people like you—those who are looking for their tribe.
If you’re at university, you can start a group for your hobbies. It can be as simple as “Coin Collectors Club”.
You can also do it online if you’re too shy and lazy to get a group going IRL.
You can make a Facebook forum on how to be a strong woman, for example. Or you can create a subreddit about your love for 90s movies.
It’s not so easy to do but it’s definitely worth it especially if your interests are so niche.
12) Never say never
It’s hard to gauge people based on appearances alone.
There are many seemingly “cute” and “wholesome” people who are actually bigots. And there are guys who work out and look like rough and tumble punks, but are actually staunch feminists.
We can never really know people unless we go a little deeper.
So if there’s an opportunity for you to get to know someone, even if they don’t look like “your kind of people”, give them a chance!
You might be surprised that you have a lot more in common than you think.
Last words
The world becomes more bearable (and fun!) once you find your people. You can be yourself around them simply because they just get you.
It might seem daunting trying to find them, but they’re out there.
With patience, hard work, and some luck, you’ll eventually find them. You’re bound to. After all, there are 8 billion people in this world.
So go ahead and do all the things in this list. They’re not that hard to do, and the reward is priceless.
