Marcel Deer
Breaking up is the other side of the relationship coin. And 58% of Americans said that breakups tend to be dramatic and/or messy, so you want to do everything you can to avoid them entirely.
But spotting the signs of a devoted partner amidst a sea of Tinder-infused short-termism is easier said than done.
So, if you’re having dark thoughts about the future of your relationship, look for the following signs of a devoted partner.
1) Their friendships usually last for years
Encountering someone with a wide circle of short-term friends is a massive red flag. This is usually a sign of a flaky, difficult person. After all, if people don’t tend to stick around, there’s probably a reason for that.
Of course, we move, change careers, and live overseas. Sometimes, people struggle to make friends, but there’s a difference between someone a little shy and someone people don’t want to be around.
So, that’s why it’s just the tip of the iceberg. Here’s another sign that someone could be “the one.”
2) They’ve been there during the good and the bad times
It’s easy to be supportive when things are going great. But what about when you’re going through your darkest moments?
Samwise Gamgee didn’t give up on Frodo even when the latter told him to go away, and a truly devoted partner doesn’t, either. Whether they’ve gained weight, lost their jobs, or are experiencing a family tragedy, where are you?
If someone always stands by you, it’s a great sign that they’re committed to you. Here’s another common sign that someone’s committed to you.
3) They’ll raise concerns
Arguing and whining? Yes, these can be signs of a healthy, lasting relationship. According to one study, couples who argue effectively are ten times more likely to enjoy a happy relationship.
The key is how people raise concerns and how they approach problems. Devoted partners aren’t afraid to mention when something is bothering them.
The difference is they won’t ghost you or scream in your face. They’ll speak up and work on solutions, not problems.
4) They put your needs first
I always hear my friends refer to their wives/husbands as “their other half,” but I rarely see the preaching practiced.
My divorced friends discuss their needs whenever they have problems with their partners. But what I notice is that the couples that have stayed together are those who talk about how they can make their partners feel better.
But it only works both ways. One of my best friends got absolutely railed by an abusive partner because they considered their partner’s needs without reciprocation.
So, what can we learn?
Great relationships only become that way when both partners have the same mindset. Thoughtful partners result in consciousness within relationships, and that’s the glue that binds everything together.
Read on for a couple more small habits indicating a loyal, faithful partner.
5) They always say thank you
Hot take: The words “I love you.” aren’t the magic words in a relationship. The magic words consist of two words, and those words are “Thank you.”
Thanking someone is an expression of gratitude. It’s an example of valuing another human being. Anyone can say they love someone. It’s the most overrated phrase in existence.
But as the world becomes meaner, “thank you” is two words that continue to resonate.
6) They are great listeners
Great listeners don’t hear you. They understand you. Otherwise known as active listening, focusing on what your partner says shows you appreciate and value them.
Active listening is the foundation of solutions. Too often, partners break up because they’re incapable of listening to and valuing each other’s needs.
After all, the cast of Friends managed to extract ten whole seasons out of Ross and Rachel misinterpreting each other. So, if your partner listens to you and you them, you can skip straight to the final episode of season ten.
7) They never sound strained
Sometimes, you can feel something in the air. It doesn’t always signal danger, either. Look at your partner and hear the sound of their voice.
Stress and strained relationships manifest in our voices. Partners who are strained in their tones are less likely to stick around.
When you’ve found true love, you’re comfortable. You’re always relaxed. And that’s why relaxed people sound different from people pulling their hair out by the roots.
8) They’re always steady
Steady means relaxed. Steady means reliable. Steady means your relationship has a longer expiry date.
Some people have a flair for the dramatic. While it might be a fast and exciting lifestyle with that person, it’s certainly not the trait that guarantees a great relationship.
Reliable partners grasp the bull by the horns. They won’t rise to meaningless conflict or fall into the trap of brushing everything under the rug.
Speaking of problems, here’s something else a devoted partner will do.
9) They tackle problems head-on
Comedienne Phyllis Diller once said, “Never go to bed angry. Stay up and fight.”
There’s some truth to this statement. Running away to avoid a fight might seem like a great idea at first glance, but it doesn’t make the source of the hurt go away.
It’s the same reason repressing your emotions only increases the chances of a full-blown nervous breakdown. A partner you can trust will focus on addressing problems and resolving them.
Short-term pain for long-term gain is their mantra.
10) They care about the little things
Little things matter in relationships. Remembering little things like your favorite snacks or what you like to do on Fridays after work is more essential than you might think.
Partners who care about you pay attention to the little things, even if it’s the most minor thing in the world.
It shows they care about you because it’s easy to forget the little things.
11) They lift you up
The world is full of people meaner than wharf rats. The last thing you need is to come home to a turd in the punchbowl.
Your partner should be your biggest cheerleader. You shouldn’t need to ask for their support. So, if your partner always lifts you up without prompting, you’ve got a keeper.
It doesn’t have to be a big thing. Random compliments on your looks, your personality, or even a “go get ‘em” statement mean a lot.
And here’s another way that a dedicated partner raises you up.
12) They don’t sweat the mistakes
We’re human, and we all do bonehead things. Whether forgetting your anniversary or filling the gas tank before a long trip, these things can be frustrating, but it’s part of life.
A loyal and faithful partner won’t let these things impact their relationship. They’re more likely to laugh about a mistake than to use it against you.
And that’s the attitude that helps you move past life’s little mishaps.
13) They also take responsibility
Speaking of everyone making mistakes, what if your perfect man/woman messes something up?
Well, they take responsibility for those mistakes. They’ll never try to shift the blame onto anyone else. They’ll shrug, apologize wholeheartedly, and then move on to the next thing.
This type of back-and-forth is a two-way street. Spouses who stick together both have a big-picture vision.
14) They trust you
Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither was trust.
Even though 50% of partners admit to snooping on their partner’s phone, this isn’t the foundation of a life-long relationship. If anything, it’s the final nail in its coffin.
Your partner is committed to you because they trust you 100%. They don’t need proof that you’re not pulling the wool over their eyes, and you don’t need that proof, either.
I’ve never once asked to see my wife’s phone, and that’s because I don’t have to. If you don’t have trust in your relationship, how can you expect a future? That’s how I see things.
Anyway, here’s what I think is the ultimate sign of a partner who’s there for the long haul.
15) They chose you regardless
Relationships don’t always come along at the most convenient time. They require self-sacrifice from both sides to make them work.
But did your partner stick with you when they would have been better off elsewhere?
For example, your partner may have given up an overseas career opportunity for you. Perhaps they switched around their schedules to accommodate time with you. Maybe they even got together with you despite their whole family hating your guts.
If someone chose you despite the difficulties, you may have just met your soulmate.
True love is hard to find – but it could be there right now
Humans can be simple creatures, so we often seek out grand gestures from our partners to prove we are loved.
But true love isn’t expressed via champagne dinners and Caribbean cruises. It’s defined by the little things in our mundane, day-to-day existences. Review the above list and reflect upon what you have.
You might have just found your forever companion.
