8 things you’re doing that you don’t realize are weakening your relationship

Did you know, you might be sabotaging your own relationship without even realizing it?

It’s easy to assume everything’s fine, but small, unnoticed behaviors can slowly chip away at the connection you share with your partner.

You see, sometimes, it’s not the big arguments or major conflicts that cause the most harm—it’s the little things we do every day without thinking.

My journey has taught me that true understanding comes from self-awareness, empathy, and taking responsibility for our actions.

This understanding is key to strengthening our relationships.

With that in mind, here are eight things you might be doing, without even realizing it, that are weakening your relationship.

1) Assuming you know what your partner is feeling

It’s easy to fall into the trap of believing we know what our loved ones are experiencing.

We often project our emotions and interpretations onto them, which can lead to misunderstandings and conflict.

In every relationship, it’s crucial to cultivate empathy and mutual respect.

This involves taking the time to genuinely understand your partner’s perspective, feelings, and experiences.

It also means asking questions and listening, rather than assuming.

Never underestimate the power of open communication in a relationship.

When we assume, we create a narrative that may not reflect reality.

This can lead to unnecessary tension and resentment.

You’re not a mind reader, so stop assuming and start communicating. 

2) Fearing vulnerability

In our society, vulnerability is often mistaken for weakness.

We’re taught to build walls around ourselves, to hide our fears and insecurities.

But in a relationship, this reluctance to be vulnerable can create a barrier that prevents genuine connection.

True strength lies in embracing our vulnerabilities.

This includes opening up to our partners and sharing our deepest fears and insecurities.

When we do this, it not only brings us closer but also creates a space for mutual growth.

Brene Brown, a renowned researcher and storyteller who has spent years exploring the power of vulnerability, once said, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when we have no control over the outcome.”

So, dare to be vulnerable.

Let your guard down and allow yourself to be seen, truly seen by your partner. 

3) Holding onto unrealistic expectations

It’s natural to have expectations in a relationship.

But when they are based on idealized notions of love and intimacy, they can create frustration and disappointment.

One powerful way to shift this dynamic is by engaging with resources that challenge these unrealistic ideals.

A prime example is the free masterclass, “The Art of Love and Intimacy” with shaman Rudá Iandê.

This masterclass encourages you to embrace reality and dismantle the myth of the perfect partner.

A crucial aspect of the masterclass is the emphasis on how our external relationships mirror our internal relationship with ourselves.

This insight aligns perfectly with my conviction that personal responsibility and self-awareness are key to improving both our relationships and ourselves.

The masterclass also equips you to break free from toxic relationship cycles and limiting beliefs that might be holding you back.

By doing so, you can foster deeper, more meaningful connections.

4) Ignoring self-growth

In the pursuit of a successful relationship, it’s easy to lose sight of ourselves.

We become so entangled in the dynamics of ‘us’ that we forget about nurturing ‘me’.

But let’s face it—how can we expect our relationships to thrive when we’re neglecting our own growth?

Drawing from the insights provided in the “Art of Love and Intimacy” masterclass, we realize that our external relationships reflect our internal ones.

If we’re not evolving and growing as individuals, it’s unrealistic to expect our relationships to do so.

The journey of self-growth is not always comfortable—it’s raw and honest. It demands us to:

• Confront our fears
• Challenge our limiting beliefs
• Cultivate self-compassion

But it’s worth every effort. Because by growing ourselves, we enhance our capacity to contribute positively to our relationships.

So ask yourself, are you giving enough attention to your individual growth? 

5) Overdependence on your partner

It’s a common misconception that our partners are supposed to fulfill all our emotional needs.

This expectation can lead to an unhealthy reliance on them, known as codependency, which creates a destructive imbalance in the relationship.

True empowerment comes from recognizing and meeting our own needs.

It’s about understanding that while our partner can contribute to our happiness, they cannot be the sole source of it. 

When we take responsibility for our own well-being, we not only enrich our lives but also bring a healthier, more balanced dynamic to our relationships.

This fosters a relationship based on mutual respect and empathy rather than dependence.

Remember, your partner is there to complement you, not complete you!

6) Neglecting the small moments

We often focus so much on the big moments—the grand gestures, the milestone celebrations—that we overlook the importance of the small, everyday moments.

These small moments—casual conversations over dinner, walks in the park, shared laughter over a movie—are the threads that weave the tapestry of your relationship.

They might seem insignificant, but they’re where true intimacy and connection are often nurtured.

By paying attention to these everyday interactions, you can cultivate a deeper sense of understanding and empathy in your relationship.

It’s about being present, actively listening, and showing genuine interest in your partner’s thoughts and experiences.

Cherish these small moments and use them as opportunities to strengthen your bond with your partner.

7) Forgetting to celebrate each other

In the hustle and bustle of life, it’s easy to take our partners for granted.

We forget to appreciate their efforts and celebrate their achievements, but this can gradually create a sense of being unappreciated and undervalued.

Making a point to celebrate each other not only fosters a feeling of appreciation but also reinforces mutual respect and admiration.

It’s about acknowledging your partner’s efforts, celebrating their victories—big or small—and expressing gratitude for their presence in your life.

8) Avoiding tough conversations

No one enjoys having difficult conversations. They’re uncomfortable and often fraught with emotional tension.

But avoiding tough discussions can lead to resentment and misunderstanding.

Engaging in open, honest communication—even when it’s challenging—is vital for maintaining a healthy relationship. This involves:

• Expressing your feelings and thoughts respectfully
• Addressing issues head-on
• Fnding solutions together

Tough conversations help your relationship grow, so don’t shy away from them.

Embrace these discussions as opportunities for strengthening your relationship and deepening your understanding of each other.

Transforming relationships through self-awareness

The small habits you don’t think twice about can have a big impact on the health of your relationship.

The good news is that once you become aware of these subtle behaviors, you can make simple changes that create a stronger, more connected partnership.

Relationships require effort and mindfulness, but it’s often the little things—like being more present, communicating with care, and showing appreciation—that make all the difference.

If you want to delve deeper into these principles and apply them to their own relationship, I highly recommend the free “The Art of Love and Intimacy” masterclass with Rudá Iandê.

This masterclass provides powerful insights and practical exercises that will help you break free from unrealistic expectations and cultivate deeper, more meaningful connections.