Paul Brian
How do most other people see you?
Do they actually like you, and if so, how much?
These are important questions, and you may be pleasantly surprised that the following things you’re doing actually make you more likable and popular than you realize.
1) You smile
Smile and the whole world smiles with you.
It’s true.
Plus, even if they don’t, there are a lot more people who appreciate a good smile than you realize.
This is your power move and a surefire way to bring more light into this dark world: just smile.
2) You listen
These days everyone seems glued to their smartphones.
If you truly lend a listening ear when people are speaking it makes you eminently likable.
Believe me:
If you hear what people say and also remember it later, they love that about you.
3) You care
The world has a serious disease right now and it’s not war or poverty (not that those are helping).
The disease is nihilism.
The disease is “whatever, man.”
If you care about something including other people or important subjects, then you’re already a human antidote to the disease of our times.
And people who also care are going to notice that you care and love that.
4) You seek truth
What would you prefer:
The truth that makes your life harder in the short term but ultimately brings you fulfillment and meaning?
Or a comfortable lie that makes your life easier in the short and long term and ensures you never have to truly feel alone or be excluded from society or groups?
Many would say the second option.
Plus “truth and lies are subjective anyway, man.”
If you want truth regardless of the cost, people love that about you, even if they can’t always live up to your idealism or its consequences.
5) You’re a team player
There’s a time for being solitary and doing your own thing.
But even the solitary genius prototype often relied on others to do their groundbreaking work and advance.
If you like to be a team player, believe that people are noticing that and loving that about you.
6) You have core values
What motivates you to get up in the morning?
If you have core values that you stick to and longer term goals of what you want to accomplish in your life, that draws people to you like a magnet.
Whether or not you realize it, your purpose-driven life is drawing others to you and gaining their respect and admiration.
7) You’re authentic
It’s hard to find genuine folks these days, although plenty still exist.
Part of the problem is the profusion of online posturing and LARPing on social media.
That’s why if you’re authentic it’s going to be noticed by others and appreciated by them, regardless of how many Instagram followers you do or don’t have.
Related: 16 signs you have a mysterious personality that is hard to read
8) You don’t worship fame or wealth
Those who worship and go cuckoo over famous and rich people are frankly not very endearing people.
At the very least they need to develop a stronger personal sense of gravity and realize that fame and fortune are fleeting.
You may love a rock band or an artist, but you don’t worship them. And people notice this lack of being a groupie and like you for it because it shows maturity and self-respect.
9) You don’t worship trends
On a related note, you don’t worship trends.
Just because everybody is suddenly vaping doesn’t mean you are.
Just because your friends are marrying a predictable person and settling down in a suburb doesn’t mean you are.
You’re not buying an Apple watch either.
You don’t worship trends, and that’s very likable.
10) You hate bullies
How do you react to bullying?
I get a burning anger inside me and want to beat them.
If you hate bullies, you’re in good company.
11) You stand up for the little guy
Whether it’s a small business or a coworker being mistreated by the boss, standing up for the little guy brings you enormous respect.
You’re likely not doing it for respect, but your street cred skyrockets every time you stand up for somebody with nobody else on their side.
As John Steinbeck memorably wrote about solidarity with the downtrodden in The Grapes of Wrath:
“Wherever you can look—wherever there’s a fight so hungry people can eat, I’ll be there. Wherever there’s a cop beatin’ up a guy, I’ll be there.
“I’ll be in the way guys yell when they’re mad.
“I’ll be in the way kids laugh when they’re hungry and they know supper’s ready, and when the people are eatin’ the stuff they raise and livin’ in the houses they build, I’ll be there, too.”
12) You forgive
At the same time as you stand up to bullies and don’t let anybody get stepped on, you do forgive.
You don’t forget, hopefully, but you are willing to sometimes let things go.
People see that and they see your strength of character and security in being able to do that.
And they respect you.
Related: 11 things that genuinely confident people never do
13) You share expertise
If you spread around what you’re good at and teach and help others, they like you.
It’s all about making sure that what you’re helping with is something people actually want to know or learn.
I spent years trying to help people find work and advance in their career in ways they weren’t truly passionate or dedicated to. It didn’t work.
14) You are a good networker
There’s nothing quite as great as coming across somebody who knows everybody.
They ask what your goals are or what you want, and they set you up.
These mavens make our world a better place and if you’re one of them then chances are people love you much more than you realize.
15) You are competitive…
Being competitive can be a very healthy and ennobling trait.
Especially when it’s competing against our former self and trying to be better than we once were.
People feel this fire from you and they respect and like it, even if you can be a bit intimidating sometimes.
16) But never mean-spirited
At the same time as you like to compete (and win), you’re never mean-spirited.
You help up others who’ve fallen along the way and are not cynical about a me-first attitude.
This draws people to you consistently and makes you much more likable than you realize.
After all, there is such a thing as a sore loser, but there’s also such a thing as a sore winner, too.
17) You take responsibility
If you take responsibility for what you do and own up to your mistakes, that’s going to greatly increase your likability.
Far too many people cut and run.
But if you stand behind any work you do and any promises you make, then people’s respect and admiration for you grows accordingly.
18) You are self-disciplined
When you’re self-disciplined and stick to a schedule and regime, it’s inspiring to others.
They can see that you keep yourself in line.
And that gives them more motive to keep their own discipline up, too.
Keep on rocking!
19) You’re honest
Those who tell the truth invariably make the best business partners, romantic partners and friends.
If you have a policy of telling the truth, it’s being noticed.
Trust me:
Your honesty is appreciated and likable by people who are tired of dealing with sneaky and dishonest folks.
20) You’re modest
Knowing your skills and being proud of who you are is a great thing.
But you should never get over your skies.
If you’re a fairly modest man or woman there’s a good chance that people like this about you more than you realize.
21) You lift people up
You may not realize it, but when you give a kind word or try to help somebody out, you lift them up.
You are being a net asset.
And people love net assets, because far too many folks are a net drain.
22) You find the silver lining
Almost every situation has some kind of silver lining.
Nobody likes toxic positivity or denial.
But if you’re the type of person who finds a silver lining, chances are other folks appreciate it more than you realize.
You rock!
Whether or not I know you, I want to let you know that you rock.
If you’re reading this article then you’re already more likable than you realize, because you’re trying to understand yourself more and grow in self-awareness.
That is frankly awesome.
Keep up the good work and don’t ever forget that you’re much better than any negative narrative or inner monolog may try to tell you.
You rock!
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