16 things you’ll never hear a confident woman say

Have you ever looked up to a confident woman?

Truly confident women are rare, but they quickly become our role models. They know what they want, and they know how to get it as well. 

They’re not afraid of voicing their opinion and making themselves heard, but at the same time, they’re the kindest people I know. 

At first, they might seem intimidating, but that’s really not the most important part of their personality.

So, in the hopes of helping you become a more confident woman, here are the 16 things you’ll never hear a confident women say. 

1) “I wear this because it’s trendy”

Oh my God. Trends. 

From low-rise jeans that gave millennials PTSD to crochet tops and platform shoes, trends are never ending and cyclic. 

Do you think confident women let themselves be thrown from one trend to another? 

Of course not! They know what they like, and they dress accordingly, even if it’s not to everyone’s taste. 

Your style is like a signature. It represents how you face the world.

Think of celebrities with great style: Cate Blanchett, Viola Davis, Michelle Obama… the list could go on. 

Rest assured; you’ll never see them wearing low-rise jeans. 

2) “I will make him jealous”

Confident women don’t need to be married or in a relationship in order to be comfortable with themselves. 

This took me a long time to understand, but it was also one of the best learning experiences I’ve ever had. 

If confident women fall in love, they bring out the best in their partner, and vice versa. 

Why bother playing games and inciting drama and toxic behavior? 

That’s not about a confident woman, and she won’t fall victim to it, either. 

When a woman knows her worth, she won’t be afraid to ask for help from her man. This will make him feel needed, and it will also bring them closer together. 

Remember that being hyper-independent is a trauma response, and trusting others is a normal thing.

3) “Therapy is for losers”

We’ve all done it: we stand in front of a mirror and, instead of seeing good things, we focus on the imperfections, on those places we don’t like so much in our bodies. 

Confident women are aware that nobody can be perfect, so they don’t waste their time picking apart their bodies and faces

Inner beauty and a good heart are the things that don’t fade away with time. 

These role-model women age gracefully, and they’re not afraid of enjoying life and getting wrinkles. 

So, what do they do instead of spending money they don’t have on beauty treatments?

  • They heal their souls;
  • They learn something new;
  • They go on adventures;
  • They meet new people. 

Doesn’t that sound a lot better than worrying about Botox and chemical peels all day?

4) “I would go back in time if I could”

Let’s establish something first: time travel doesn’t exist, as much as we would want it to be the case. 

Imperfections and mistakes are a part of life, and nobody, not even the most confident women, are free from them. 

Whenever I get in a low depressive mood, I try to remember two things.

First, I wouldn’t be who I am without my mistakes. 

Second is that every learning experience makes me a better person. 

Confident women understand this situation, and they aren’t afraid of saying the wrong thing and making silly mistakes from time to time. 

Besides, why waste time thinking about the past? 

We are not going to live forever!

5) “I can’t believe I said this”

More than once, I’ve said the wrong thing or assumed stuff before asking. It has led to uncomfortable situations, and I’ve had to make amends afterward. 

Confidence doesn’t shatter just because you asked a silly question, and people laughed. 

Actually, your feeling of self-worth can’t be taken away from you. 

In Glennon Doyle Melton’s words, “Be messy and complicated and afraid but show up anyway.”

6) “My intuition is wrong”

Intuition, going with your gut, letting your heart decide… 

Put the name you want to it, but it’s real. It comes through every time we have to make a difficult choice, and it’s never wrong. 

Confident women trust their instincts: if someone gives off bad vibes, they stay away. If they sense somebody is lying, they face it. 

Your instinct is the tool that will guide you through life. Doubting it is like not trusting yourself. 

If you want to take a step further in being more confident, start listening to your intuition. It will make a difference. 

7) “Vulnerability is a stupid choice.”

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: asking for help is one of the best decisions you can make. 

Trusting that others have your back is great, and it improves your mental health

You don’t have to go through everything alone. 

I used to be hyper-independent and didn’t let my friends see me when I was sad. This only served to make me spiral into feeling lonely and exhausted. 

Vulnerability is a strength, and confident women understand it. 

8) “I love people-pleasing.”

Emotions can feel like a rollercoaster. They’re not easy to predict, and more than once, they can rule over our decision-making skills. 

Being a people pleaser is very common, and these people will do anything to make others comfortable, even at the expense of themselves. 

Confident women know their boundaries and are not afraid to set them if they feel uncomfortable.

You don’t get to control what others do; you can only know what is and isn’t acceptable for you. 

Become more confident by asserting your boundaries. 

9) “I won’t speak about this”

Sometimes, talking is a form of bravery. Especially for women. 

Confident women often choose to confront and talk about difficult topics: abuse, domestic violence, and the patriarchy. 

They’re not afraid to defend their friends, even if they have to involve the authorities. 

People who abuse their power are frequently cowards, but the silence allows them to continue on this destructive path. 

Confident women trust themselves to handle the consequences of standing up for themselves and others. 

10) “I will post this story for him to see it”

Male validation isn’t something confident women strive for. They know their worth, and they don’t need a man in their DMs to confirm it. 

Read that again.

External praise, whether it is about their looks or their minds, doesn’t really make a difference in their life. 

I’m not saying that it’s not nice to be praised. It is, indeed.

But it shouldn’t be the source of our self-esteem. 

Confidence and self-esteem have to come from within yourself. Otherwise, you will get hurt if you hear other people’s negative opinions. 

Your vision is yours alone!

11) “I won’t clear things up with them”

Gossip is the mother of all fights, pretty much. 

When friends talk trash about each other, it’s usually because they have left bad feelings fester. 

They won’t touch difficult topics, and that’s why they can’t clarify things. 

Unfortunately, this isn’t the smartest or healthiest choice. 

What happens is that things end up exploding, and people lose old friendships because of this. 

Confident women know that they can talk to their friends, even if it starts rocky at first. Friends who talk stay friends forever!

12) “The truth hurts, and I won’t spare my friends”

Sometimes, saying something is more cruel than staying quiet. That means you don’t always have to say the hurtful truth to everyone just for the sake of being honest.

Instead, find ways to support people, and if it’s absolutely necessary to tell them the unpleasant truth, do it gently.

13) “I don’t take care of myself”

Ladies, listen up! 

Self-care is not selfish.

Taking care of your physical and emotional well-being is an act of love towards yourself.

So go ahead, indulge in that bubble bath, spend a lazy afternoon with a good book, or treat yourself to that much-needed break. 

14) “My feelings aren’t important”

Now, I won’t sugarcoat it—opening up and expressing your true feelings can be downright tough. 

But here’s the thing: it’s an essential skill that can deepen our adult relationships in ways we never imagined.

Confident women, oh boy, they’ve got this down. 

They don’t shy away from sharing their truths, and we can all take a page from their book. You see, these fabulous ladies don’t spill their emotions to put others down. 

They do it to create a beautiful space for open conversation, a space where everyone involved can grow and flourish.

15) “I will never forgive them”

Listen up, my dear, because I’ve got something important to share. 

A confident woman will fearlessly take charge when there’s something to discuss. She’ll dive right in, navigating the depths of the matter at hand without issue. 

If, by chance, it can’t be resolved through conversation, she’ll know when to let go without a trace of regret or resentment.

Life’s too short, my dear, to waste our energy nursing bitterness. 

16) “I don’t approve of them”

Everyone handles tough times differently. 

So, let’s say you had a rough breakup and decided to cope by diving headfirst into the magical world of geocaching.

Guess what? 

Your confident friend has your back through it all.

She’s no shade-thrower. None of those backhanded compliments or talking down to you in social gatherings. 

She’s all about uplifting and supporting you in whatever makes your heart sing.

Confident women? They want their friends to embrace their true passions, you know? 

That’s what true friendship is all about—embracing each other’s unique journeys and 

In a nutshell

As a woman, there’s no denying that various factors, both personal and societal, can influence your self-esteem.

Remember, confidence stems from within. 

Nurture yourself, surround yourself with uplifting relationships, and speak kindly to your soul. 

You are worthy, and by embracing your unique journey, you’ll radiate the confidence of a thousand suns.

Anna Dovbysh

With 8 years of writing experience and a deep interest in psychology, relationship advice, and spirituality, Anna’s here to shine a light on the most interesting self-development topics and share some life advice. She's got a Master's Degree in International Information and is a life-long learner of writing and storytelling. In the past, she worked on a radio station and a TV channel as a journalist and even tought English in Cambodia to local kids. Currently, she's freelancing and traveling around the globe, exploring new places, and getting inspired by the people she meets and the stories they tell. Subscribe to her posts and get in touch with her on her social media:
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