8 things you need to do if you want to attract the person of your dreams

Attracting the person of your dreams can seem like a daunting task. But trust me, it’s not as hard as you think.

As the founder of the Love Connection blog and a relationship expert, I’m here to let you in on a little secret: attracting your dream partner is simply about being your best self.

And guess what? I’ve got some tips to help you do just that. 

It’s not about tricking someone into liking you. It’s about showcasing who you truly are and finding someone who loves that. So, let’s dive in, shall we?

1) Be authentic

This might sound cliché, but authenticity is key when it comes to attracting your dream partner.

Trust me, people can spot a fake from miles away. And nothing turns people off more than insincerity.

Being authentic means being true to yourself in every situation. It means owning your strengths and weaknesses. It means not pretending to be someone you’re not just to impress someone else.

Have you ever noticed how attractive confidence is? That’s because confident people are usually those who are true to themselves. They know their worth and aren’t afraid to show it.

The right person will love you for who you are, not who you pretend to be. So don’t be afraid to let your true colors shine!

2) Love yourself first

This is a big one, folks. Before you can attract the love of another, you must first learn to love yourself.

It’s a lesson I’ve learned over the years and it’s made all the difference in my relationships.

Famed philosopher and poet, Rumi once said, “Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

When it comes to attracting that dream someone, this couldn’t be more true. 

If you’re full of self-doubt and loathing, it can be difficult for others to see your worth. But when you love yourself, you radiate positivity and confidence.

Take time to appreciate your strengths, accept your flaws, and work on improving yourself. This self-love will naturally attract others towards you because love attracts love. 

3) Establish healthy boundaries

This is something I discuss extensively in my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

But for now, just know that attracting the person of your dreams isn’t about losing yourself in the process. It’s about finding someone who complements you, not completes you.

I’ve seen it time and time again in my years as a relationship expert – people losing their individuality in the pursuit of love. But that’s not how healthy relationships work.

Establishing clear boundaries helps maintain respect and understanding in a relationship. It means standing up for yourself and your needs and also respecting the needs and space of the other person.

A relationship is a partnership between two independent individuals, not a merger. If you’re serious about attracting your dream partner, don’t overlook this.

4) Be okay with being single

Yes, you read that right. If you want to attract the person of your dreams, you need to be okay with being single.

It might sound counterintuitive, but hear me out.

When you’re comfortable with being alone, you become less desperate. You stop settling for less than you deserve. You start attracting people who respect and value you because they see that you respect and value yourself.

Moreover, being comfortable with being single gives you time to focus on yourself, your goals, and your happiness. It helps you grow as an individual and become the best version of yourself.

And guess what? This self-growth and self-confidence are incredibly attractive. They draw people towards you like a magnet.

5) Embrace vulnerability

Opening up and showing your vulnerable side can be scary. Trust me, I know. But it’s also one of the most powerful ways to connect with another person.

People are drawn to authenticity. They appreciate it when you let your guard down and show them your real self, flaws and all. It makes you human, relatable, and incredibly attractive.

In my own relationships, I’ve found that my connections deepen when I have the courage to be vulnerable. It invites the other person to do the same, creating a bond based on mutual trust and understanding.

6) Let go of the ‘perfect’ image

Let’s be honest here. There’s no such thing as the ‘perfect’ partner. Everyone has flaws. Everyone has quirks. And that’s okay.

But too often, we get caught up in the idea of finding someone who ticks every single box on our checklist. But real life isn’t a rom-com, and people aren’t characters we can mold to our liking.

The sooner you let go of this ‘perfect’ image, the sooner you’ll be able to see and appreciate the wonderful, albeit imperfect, people around you.

This doesn’t mean settling for less than you deserve. It simply means understanding that perfection is a myth and that true love lies in accepting someone for who they truly are, flaws and all.

7) Practice patience

I’ve always loved the quote by Paulo Coelho, “When you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.”

But sometimes, it takes a bit of time. And that’s okay.

Attracting your dream partner isn’t a race. It requires patience. It requires faith in the process, and most importantly, in yourself.

In my personal journey, I’ve learned that good things come to those who wait. Rushing into a relationship out of impatience or loneliness often leads to heartbreak and regret.

Take your time. Trust the process. Your person is out there, and when the time is right, your paths will cross. 

8) Understand that rejection is not a reflection of your worth

This is a tough pill to swallow, but an essential one.

Rejection is a part of life, especially when it comes to dating. Not everyone you’re interested in will reciprocate your feelings. And that’s okay.

It’s important to remember that being turned down by someone doesn’t make you unworthy or unlovable. It simply means that the person wasn’t right for you.

It can be incredibly painful and disheartening when someone you’re attracted to doesn’t feel the same way. But it’s crucial to not let these experiences chip away at your self-esteem.

Remember, everyone has different tastes and preferences. A rejection is just a sign that you haven’t met the right person yet – your dream partner who will see and appreciate your worth.

So, keep your head up, keep your heart open, and keep moving forward. Your person is out there, and every ‘no’ brings you one step closer to your ‘yes’.

Final thoughts 

Finding your dream partner is a journey, not a destination. It requires patience, vulnerability, and, most importantly, self-love.

If you found these tips helpful and want to learn more about establishing healthy boundaries and overcoming codependency, I invite you to check out my book, Breaking The Attachment: How To Overcome Codependency in Your Relationship.

In it, I share my personal experiences and provide practical steps to help you build healthier relationships.

But for now, remember these eight tips. Embrace them in your journey of love, and I am confident that they will guide you to the person of your dreams. Good luck!

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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