Mia Zhang
How we treat ourselves often reflects in our interactions with others.
Sometimes, behaviors that reveal a lack of self-respect can be subtle and hard to recognize.
Whether it’s neglecting your own needs, constantly seeking approval, or not setting boundaries, these actions can undermine your sense of self-worth.
So, that’s what this article is for—here are eight things you might be doing that reveal a lack of self-respect:
1) Saying yes when you want to say no
We’ve all been there—caught in a situation where we’d rather say “no”, but we nod and agree instead.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of people pleasing, especially when you’re worried about upsetting others or being seen as difficult.
But here’s the thing about self-respect: It’s all about understanding your own limits and sticking to them.
Each time you say “yes” when you really want to say “no”, you’re sacrificing a piece of yourself—it’s like telling yourself that others’ needs and wants are more important than yours.
Remember, it’s okay to say “no” and it doesn’t make you a bad person for doing so.
In fact, saying “no” shows that you value your own time, energy, and peace of mind.
2) Constantly apologizing
I remember a time when I would always start my sentences with “I’m sorry.” and it didn’t even matter if the situation called for an apology or not.
“I’m sorry, but I think…” or “I’m sorry, can I just say…” became my go-to phrases.
It was as if I was apologizing for having an opinion or taking up space.
In hindsight, I realize that this was a clear sign of lacking self-respect—by constantly apologizing, I was subconsciously undermining my own worth and credibility.
Apologies are important when you’ve done something wrong, but saying “sorry” too often—especially when it’s unwarranted—can make you appear less confident and can even invite others to take you less seriously.
Learning to communicate without unnecessary apologies was a game changer for me as it helped me respect myself more and boosted my self-confidence too.
3) Ignoring your health
Did you know that a staggering 80% of New Year’s resolutions are related to health?
Yet, let’s be real, most people abandon these resolutions within the first six weeks of the year.
Ignoring your physical health is a telltale sign of a lack of self-respect; whether it’s skipping meals, not getting enough sleep, or neglecting exercise, these are all ways we show disrespect towards our own bodies.
“Your health is your wealth”, as the saying goes.
The next time you think about skipping that gym session or reaching for another late-night snack, remember that taking care of your health is a fundamental expression of self-respect.
4) Letting others define your worth
We live in a society that often puts too much emphasis on what others think.
Whether it’s constantly seeking validation on social media or changing ourselves to fit into someone else’s idea of what’s acceptable, we can easily fall into the trap of letting others define our worth.
However you may think, your worth is not determined by the number of likes on your Instagram post or the approval of others.
Your worth is defined by who you are as a person, your values, and how you treat yourself and others.
Finding yourself constantly seeking external validation might be time to take a step back and reassess.
You don’t need anyone else’s approval to know your worth.
5) Staying in toxic relationships
We all want to be loved and accepted—it’s a fundamental human need—but, in our pursuit of love and acceptance, we end up tolerating behavior that we shouldn’t.
Staying in a toxic relationship, whether it’s with a friend, a family member, or a romantic partner, can be damaging to your self-respect.
These relationships drain your energy, make you doubt your worth, and leave you feeling unhappy more often than not.
It can be hard to let go, especially when you care about the person deeply—remember that it’s okay to put yourself first.
You deserve to be treated with kindness, love, and respect; if a relationship is causing more harm than good, it might be time to re-evaluate its place in your life.
6) Downplaying your achievements
When I landed my first big promotion at work, I brushed it off as luck as I found it hard to accept compliments and constantly felt like I didn’t deserve the recognition.
This is known as ‘impostor syndrome’, where you doubt your abilities and fear being exposed as a “fraud.”
It’s a common feeling, especially among high-achievers.
Downplaying your achievements or attributing your success to factors outside your control is a sign of low self-respect—it’s like telling yourself that you’re not deserving of the success you’ve worked hard for.
Acknowledging and celebrating your achievements, big or small, is important.
Own them because you’ve earned it!
7) Neglecting personal growth
Life is a journey of continuous learning and growth; picking up a new skill, pushing your boundaries, or challenging your beliefs, personal growth is an essential part of a fulfilling life.
Neglecting this aspect of your life, whether it’s due to fear, complacency or a lack of time, can reveal a lack of self-respect.
Personal growth isn’t always easy or comfortable as it often involves stepping out of your comfort zone and facing your fears, but it’s also one of the most rewarding things you can do for yourself.
Make time for self-improvement by feeding your curiosity and challenging yourself.
Keep in mind that every step you take towards personal growth is a step towards self-respect.
8) Not standing up for yourself
One of the greatest acts of self-respect is standing up for yourself.
When you allow others to treat you poorly without objection, you’re sending a message that it’s acceptable.
It doesn’t mean you have to be confrontational or aggressive; standing up for yourself is about expressing your feelings, asserting your rights, and setting boundaries in a respectful and assertive manner.
You teach people how to treat you by what you allow, what you stop, and what you reinforce.
Stand up for yourself and show the world that you respect yourself enough to not tolerate disrespect from others.
Final thoughts: Self-respect is a journey
The road to self-respect isn’t always easy—it’s a journey of introspection, self-discovery, and sometimes tough decisions.
Self-respect is the foundation of a positive self-image and healthy relationships and it’s about recognizing your worth and making choices that reflect it.
Remember the wise words of Buddha, “You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.”
Every time you catch yourself falling into these patterns, take a pause and reflect: You’re worth more than you sometimes realize.
Embrace self-respect—it’s about how you see yourself as much as how others see you.
Your journey towards self-respect might just be the most significant one you’ll ever take!
