Pearl Nash
Introverts have their own world…and because of this, they’re often misunderstood.
As an introvert, you’re probably well aware of what others think of you. But trust me—they don’t tell all.
So in this article, I will give you a list of the things you don’t realize you’re doing because you’re an introvert.
1) You make people think you’re trying to be difficult
A lot of what makes you who you are conflicts with what most other people think is normal.
You probably hate calls and would rather text with people instead, for example. But it’s hard for you to explain why, and because of that people think you’re just being difficult. Worse, they might even think you actually don’t like them.
And then of course, people might push you to “socialize more” in a party and get upset when you just want to stay at the bar all by yourself.
You’re already there, after all!
The fix:
When it comes to things like these, it’s best to settle for a compromise and adapt to what other people want, especially if it doesn’t happen often.
So if they would rather call than text, then take that call from time to time.
If they want you to go out and socialize, then go do so… even if all you do is listen and say a few words.
Just make up for it by giving yourself plenty of rest and recharge when you’re all by yourself again.
2) You look like you’re lost in your own world
As an introvert, you will likely have spent quite a while mulling over your thoughts or daydreaming.
It’s easy for you to disassociate with the world around you and just focus on your thoughts.
For you, it’s normal to just get deep into your own thoughts while you’re out eating, walking to work, or doing the laundry. But for other people, what it looks like is that you aren’t paying attention at all and are completely lost in your own world.
The fix:
At the very least, be careful about looking lost in your thoughts when you’re out in public if you don’t want to be a target of malicious people.
Try not to do this while in school or at work either or else your colleagues will think you’re not paying attention to your tasks.
You don’t have to stop daydreaming—it’s part of who you are—but when you’re at work or in public, try to be as present as possible by doing these tricks to stay focused.
3) You come across as snob
People will see you all by yourself, seemingly disinterested in anything going on around you and assume that you hate people, or that you’re just a naturally standoffish person.
It doesn’t matter whether that is or isn’t the case, because to people who expect those around them to be all energetic and outgoing, you wanting to be alone means you don’t like them.
And sometimes, because of this, people will stop talking to you entirely.
The fix:
This doesn’t mean that you have to force yourself into becoming an extrovert to seem more approachable.
You can just tweak a few things about your body language to look more interested and open, and you’ll be a lot more approachable.
Body language matters if you’re an introvert.
For example, you can aim to look like a calm person who’s just not talkative simply by smiling more. On the other hand, if you don’t talk and you always cross your arms, then people will feel you don’t want them around.
4) You project an aura of insecurity
A lot of introverts tend to hunch over or at the very least have a very closed body language. And this makes sense—you want to shut yourself away from the world so that you can focus on yourself.
But an unfortunate side effect of this is that people will take a look at you and assume you’re insecure. This makes sense too, given how insecure people generally show very closed body language when in public.
The motivations may be different, with yours being that you want to focus on yourself and insecure people wanting to be protected from the world, but people aren’t mind readers. They’ll just assume insecurity by default.
The fix:
Well, don’t hunch. But if it’s something that’s hard for you to correct, then show confidence in other ways.
You may show it in the way you talk by speaking your mind even if what you have to say may be an unpopular opinion.
You may show it by looking people in the eye and smiling warmly instead of looking down.
5) You make loved ones feel neglected
People—especially those close to us— generally expect constant attention, doting, and catching up.
As an introvert, it might be no big deal for you to go quiet for weeks on end only to randomly say “hi” to a friend and strike up a conversation.
But extroverts aren’t like that. They easily get frustrated when someone stops talking to them and will immediately assume that they’re being ghosted.
You might be okay having a friend not talk to you for months and think it doesn’t impact your friendship at all. But that’s not how most people operate, and they will feel neglected if that happens to them.
The fix:
The best way to deal with this isn’t to suddenly cram your schedule trying to catch up with all your friends.
It’s to communicate and find a compromise—let your friends know that you aren’t exactly a chatterbox, but at the same time try to keep up with them every now and then.
Simply telling them “Sorry if I’m not always chatty because I’m a bit of an introvert… but I care for you a lot!”, will remove their doubts about your closeness.
6) You come off as a “Killjoy”
People think you’re boring and always disinterested.
As an introvert, a lot of the things you do will naturally chafe on what the people around you expect.
In general, people expect some sort of participation out of their friends and colleagues as a show of “friendship” or simply being agreeable. That can mean being invited into events when you simply don’t have the energy to, or being forced to participate in company parties that you could care less for.
Declining these invitations can be seen as rude and disrespectful, even when that isn’t your intent.
The fix:
Your best option will be to keep the peace, which you can do by making it clear that you can’t always say yes… but to at least accept and attend these invitations from time to time.
Of course, if they also truly consider you as a friend, they’d understand.
7) You’re inspiring others to just be their introvert self
If you’re a decent human being and you embrace your introversion, then you’re making other introverts feel lonely. In fact, you’ll even encourage extroverts to pick some introverted traits.
You’re an inspiration to others if you are not scared to set boundaries (and you do it in the nicest way possible).
You’re an inspiration to others if you’re able to enjoy some time with friends (and leave when you feel you have to).
You’re an inspiration to others if you’re able to encourage others to daydream, to detach, to enjoy being alone.
The fix:
There is no fix. Keep embracing who you are. You’re the kind of introvert other introverts need.
If you’re an introvert, then you may also have a lone-wolf personality. If that’s the case, you might relate to our below video which goes through the top 10 signs of a lone-wolf personality.
Last words
If you were to think about everything I have described, you’ll realize one very important thing—you have this effect on people not because of what you’re actually doing, but because of what people assume.
This world is run by extroverts, and it’s often quite hostile to introverts because of that.
As nice as it would be to just keep doing things as you’ve always done and not care a whit for what extroverts think of you, living is all about making compromises.
Try to ask for understanding, but at the same time don’t expect everyone else to do all the accommodation.
Try to meet society halfway, make compromises, and you’ll do just fine.
