Mia Zhang
There’s a fine line between blending in and hiding away.
Often, we don’t even realize we’re crossing it. We go about our day, making decisions that we believe are simply “normal”. But in reality, these choices could be stemming from a fear of standing out in public.
Being one who prefers to blend in isn’t a bad thing. But are you doing it out of choice or fear?
Unpacking this can be tricky, so I’ve put together a list of 7 behaviors you may not realize you’re exhibiting because you’re afraid to stand out. Let’s delve into them, shall we?
1) Overthinking your appearance
We’ve all been there. Staring at our closet, trying to figure out what to wear. But are we dressing for ourselves or to avoid standing out?
The fear of standing out can sneakily dictate our wardrobe choices. We might choose clothes that are more subdued or ‘safe’, rather than what truly reflects our personality.
It’s not just clothing. This fear can influence how we do our hair, the accessories we wear, even the way we carry our bodies. We end up adjusting our appearance, often unconsciously, to fit into what we believe is the ‘norm’.
If you find yourself spending an inordinate amount of time fretting over your outfit or appearance before stepping out, it might be a sign you’re afraid to stand out in public. The key is to recognize this and remember that it’s okay to express your unique style.
2) Avoiding public speaking
I remember back in college, I would do anything to avoid giving a presentation. Even if it meant losing out on grades, the thought of standing up in front of a room full of people was just too much for me.
Looking back, I can see it was my fear of standing out that was holding me back. The idea of everyone’s eyes on me, listening to every word I said, was terrifying.
This fear can manifest in more subtle ways too, like avoiding speaking up in meetings or contributing to group discussions. You might find yourself thinking, “What if I say something wrong?” or “What if they laugh at me?”
The fear of public speaking is one of the most common fears people have. But if you’re consistently avoiding situations where you have to speak in front of others, it could be a sign you’re afraid to stand out in public.
3) Choosing the back seat
Did you know that individuals who are afraid to stand out in public often choose seats in the back of a room or cinema? It’s a subtle way of keeping a low profile and avoiding the limelight.
Whether it’s a lecture, a conference, or even a group dinner, you might find yourself instinctively gravitating towards the back. It feels safer, less noticeable. But what you might not realize is that this is a classic behavior of someone who fears standing out.
It’s important to remember that your choice of seat doesn’t determine your value in any situation. Don’t be afraid to take the front row if it means you’ll have a better experience.
4) Staying silent when you disagree
We all have our own opinions and beliefs. But when the fear of standing out takes over, we might suppress our thoughts, especially if they go against the grain.
You might find yourself nodding along in a meeting or conversation, even when you strongly disagree with what’s being said. You might hold back from voicing your unique ideas because they’re different and might make you stand out.
But remember, everyone’s viewpoint is valuable, including yours. It’s okay to respectfully voice your disagreement or share your innovative ideas. Don’t let the fear of standing out stop you from contributing to a conversation.
5) Avoiding social events
Once upon a time, I used to turn down invitations to parties, get-togethers, or any social events where I didn’t know a lot of people. The mere thought of walking into a room full of strangers was intimidating. I’d imagine everyone turning to look at me, judging me.
What I didn’t realize then was that this was my fear of standing out playing tricks on me. The fear of being the new person and attracting attention kept me from enjoying social engagements and making new connections.
If you find yourself frequently avoiding social events, especially where you won’t know many people, it might be because you’re afraid to stand out. It’s important to remember that everyone at the event was once the ‘new’ person. It’s okay to step out of your comfort zone and meet new people.
6) Keeping your achievements under wraps
It’s a wonderful feeling to accomplish something after hard work. But when the fear of standing out holds sway, you might find yourself downplaying your achievements.
Instead of sharing your success with others, you might keep it to yourself to avoid seeming boastful or attracting attention. You might even downplay your accomplishments when they are brought up in conversation.
Remember, it’s okay to be proud of your achievements and share them with others. Celebrating success isn’t about showing off, but about acknowledging hard work and inspiring others. Don’t let the fear of standing out keep you from celebrating your victories.
7) Putting others’ needs before your own
One of the most overlooked signs of fear of standing out is consistently prioritizing others’ needs over your own. You might find yourself going out of your way to accommodate others, even if it means sacrificing your own well-being or comfort.
This could be because standing up for your own needs and setting boundaries might make you feel like you’re drawing attention or causing a fuss.
However, it’s essential to remember that your needs are important too. Advocating for yourself isn’t about being selfish or difficult; it’s about respecting and taking care of yourself. Don’t let the fear of standing out prevent you from putting yourself first when necessary.
Final thoughts: Embrace your uniqueness
The complexities of human behavior are influenced by a myriad of factors, from our upbringing to our personal experiences. One thing to remember is that standing out isn’t something to fear, but rather, it’s what makes us unique.
As the great Dr. Seuss once said, “Why fit in when you were born to stand out?” This quote captures the essence of embracing our individuality instead of hiding it.
Fear of standing out can lead us to suppress our true selves and conform to societal norms. But it’s crucial to remember that our uniqueness is not a liability, but a strength.
Whether it’s expressing a contrary viewpoint, dressing in a way that reflects your personality, or simply sitting in the front row, every step towards embracing your individuality is a step away from fear.
So next time you feel afraid to stand out, remember that your uniqueness is what sets you apart. It’s okay to be different. In fact, it’s more than okay – it’s wonderful. After all, there’s only one you in this world. Why not celebrate that?
