12 things you don’t realize you do when you’re deeply in love

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You know what they say:

Love makes you do crazy things.

It pulls our strings in good (and sometimes bad) ways that we are blind to.

We’re so wrapped up in the heady world of lust and love that we barely even notice.

Here are 12 things you don’t realize you do when you’re deeply in love.

1) Talk about them non-stop

Sorry friends and family. But when someone is on your mind, their name is also constantly on the tip of your tongue.

You probably don’t realize that you are driving your pals insane by talking about your beau 24-7.

Every antidote has them squeezed into it.

Everything reminds you of them and you can’t help but share it.

Don’t worry, we all do it. So your friends will understand.

When we can’t get enough of someone, it just spills over into every conversation we have whenever they’re not around.

2) Being all touchy-feely

Get a room guys!

Here’s the thing about over-the-top public displays of affection:

When you’re single and it’s someone else doing it…

Totally gross.

When you are seriously loved up and it’s you partaking in it…

You’re oblivious.

It’s not escaped everyone else’s attention. But you may not even notice that you can’t keep your hands off each other.

A physical expression of affection is totally natural when we fall hard for someone.

It’s just another expression of the way you feel.

You are usually found locked in an embrace, holding hands, and showering each other with kisses.

You may well have the honeymoon phase to thank for that. Or you may be lucky enough to still be like that with each other even after years together.

3) Take an interest in things you would have once found boring

It’s the conversation with them that matters more than the subject.

So that’s why you suddenly find yourself taking a genuine interest in topics that you have zero knowledge of or appreciation for.

Shopping? Oooh tell me more.

Fishing? How fascinating!!

Those love goggles mean that when we are deeply in love, we want to be part of their world, in every way possible.

Things that may have once bored us to tears seem not so bad when they are interested in it.

4) Leave your comfort zone

I’ve had so many friends over the years fall for flaky guys.

Don’t worry, I’m not being sexist here fellas, it works both ways too.

They make excuses for them and say things like:

“They’re just afraid of getting hurt” or “They’re not ready for a relationship”.

I do concede that things like timing and emotional availability undoubtedly matter.

But here’s another truth:

When we really like someone, we’re prepared to get out of our own way.

Love is scary. There’s no way around it.

Giving your heart to someone is a gamble. But when you fall in love, it’s a risk worth taking.

So often, it’s not even a conscious choice. We can’t help ourselves.

We simply discover that we’re being coaxed from our comfort zone and taking a chance on someone.

5) Forget about your exes and former crushes

Who?

Oh yeah.

Them.

When you were single you periodically would reminisce about the ones who got away.

You couldn’t help yourself. Every now and then you’d find yourself having a little stalk of their socials…just to see what they’re up to.

But it feels like a distant memory now.

When you meet someone who finally fulfills your needs in a healthy way, everyone that came before no longer matters.

Those wasted tears spilled over lovers that proved unworthy don’t hold the same heaviness in your heart.

In an ideal world, we can mend the wounds ourselves through self-love.

But often the final healing happens without us even seeing it.

The promise of new love, new opportunities, and new partnership comes along and restores our faith.

6) Put their needs first

I confess I can have a bit of a selfish steak.

Yet I don’t think it’s an unhealthy one. I’m not totally demanding. I just don’t have a problem prioritizing my needs.

But when I love someone, it’s a different story.

It’s not a burden to put them first, I want to.

You care about how they feel, and so you do what you can to honor it.

Let’s be clear, this should always be done in a healthy way.

We shouldn’t abandon ourselves or seek to non-stop please.

But the point is, taking care of them feels good and not like a sacrifice.

So you don’t even stop to see all the ways that you are happy to accommodate them in your life.

7) Lose yourself in daydreaming

Have you already imagined yourself growing old together?

Do you secretly know the names of your kids?

Maybe you’re even picturing and planning in your head your yearly vacations.

When we’re head over heels it’s hard not to indulge in a bit of daydreaming.

Chances are, it happens on autopilot rather than being a conscious decision.

You are losing yourself in all those wonderful feelings.

I don’t want to rain on your parade because I know how delicious it can feel.

But a quick word of warning:

It can be wise to keep some self-awareness around this tempting habit. Daydreaming to excess in a relationship can make us a little delusional.

There is a danger we project our expectations and desires onto our partner.

It’s easy to get swept away in fantasy, but just remember to stay anchored in reality too.

8) Have a cheery spring in your step

There’s no doubt that finding love gives us a little lift.

Romance isn’t everything. Neither do you need a partner to be happy. Far from it.

But for many of us, a strong and loving relationship is on our wishlist.

So is it any wonder that it can create a sense of well-being for you?

You may discover that when you’re deeply in love:

  • It lifts your mood
  • It makes you more patient and tolerant of life’s little annoyances
  • You suddenly feel more inspired
  • You have more energy
  • You are more motivated

If you’ve got a smile on your face and a spring in your step, the strength of your love life right now could be partly responsible.

9) Keep your ego in check

Relationships demand compromise and consideration.

You can’t do this when you’re ruled by ego.

Ego’s don’t want to back down.

They want everything their own way.

They don’t want to say sorry or admit fault.

If you are happily making compromises to accommodate your partner, you are thinking more like a “we” than an “I”.

That’s a really good sign your relationship means far more to you than your ego.

It’s this that will help you to resolve conflict respectfully and more peacefully.

It’s also going to mean you listen to each other, rather than try to shoot one another down.

All of which strengthens your love in the long run.

10) Become unexpectedly jealous out of nowhere

Sure, jealousy can be an ugly emotion. But only when we let it get the better of us.

Because experts agree, a small amount of the green-eyed monster in a relationship can be perfectly natural.

It happens because we care.

So if you see someone trying to chat up your love and feel an instant twinge, don’t beat yourself up too much.

It may surprise you. You’re not at all the jealous type. It’s never been your style.

But when someone is incredibly important to us, we can be more nervous about losing them.

This can show itself in some unexpected ways that you haven’t experienced before.

11) Happily sit in silence

Awkward silence is only awkward when we’re not fully comfortable with someone.

Without us projecting that onto it, it’s just silence.

You often don’t notice when your relationship crosses over into this safety zone — the space where you don’t need to say anything and that’s ok.

Particularly in the first flush of dating and falling for someone, we fill our time with endless conversations.

You may even find yourself talking until the wee small hours about everything and nothing.

Somewhere along the way a shift takes place.

It’s not that you have run out of things to say. You still enjoy lively exchanges.

It’s just that you also feel secure enough to be in each other’s company and say nothing at all.

That’s powerful!

It’s something that only comes from a deep bond.

12) Be fully yourself

It’s another one that creeps up on you.

I’m not suggesting you put on a front in the beginning. But let’s face it, we do tend to be on our best behavior in the early stages.

We want to impress, so we put our best foot forward.

It takes trust and security for us to fully open up to someone.

That’s when we let all our weird and wonderful quirks show.

When we’re deeply in love, being ourselves just feels like a given.

So we don’t stop to remember the times when we didn’t feel quite safe enough to do so yet.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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