9 things you don’t realize you do that make you really likeable

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There’s a subtle art to being truly likeable. And more often than not, you’re probably doing things that make you more endearing without even realizing it.

But do you know what’s better? Turning your likeability into a skill. 

Identifying and working on your likeability benefits both your personal and professional life. From gaining more connections to getting good deals, it all comes down to likeability. 

Without much further ado, let’s uncover the 9 things you don’t realize you do that make you really likeable so you can start doing them more intentionally and winning more hearts. 

1) You listen more than you talk

In a world often dominated by noise, the power of silence and active listening cannot be overstated.

Ever noticed how you tend to gravitate towards someone who genuinely listens to what you have to say? It’s because they make you feel heard and valued. And, without realizing, that’s something you do quite often.

You’re not just passively hearing words. Instead, you’re actively listening, engaging with the speaker and letting them take center stage in the conversation. You ask relevant questions, show empathy and understanding – all signs of a great listener.

Being a good listener is an unconscious habit that makes you incredibly likeable. It’s an attractive quality that shows respect for others and their perspectives.

2) You’re genuinely happy for others

Envy can be a natural human response, but it’s not something that defines me – or you, it seems.

I remember a time when a close friend of mine got promoted at work. It was a position I had my sights on for a while. But instead of feeling envious or disappointed, I found myself genuinely happy for her.

You see, being genuinely happy for someone else’s success is a trait that sets us apart. We celebrate others’ victories as if they were our own. It’s not about comparing ourselves to them, but about sharing in their joy.

This quality, often unbeknown to us, leaves a strong, positive impression on those around us. It shows a lack of ego and an abundance of love and support. And that’s why people find themselves drawn to our energy.

3) You’re naturally curious

Curiosity may have killed the cat, but it certainly makes us more likeable. Here’s why.

When you ask insightful questions and show a desire to understand, it makes people feel valued and appreciated. It’s not just about being polite; it’s about showing a genuine interest in their thoughts and experiences.

 This is backed up by science.

Research showed that people who show genuine interest in others and the world around them are often seen as more attractive and more likely to build meaningful connections.

Your natural curiosity is a magnet that draws people towards you. It’s a subtle trait, but one that makes you incredibly likeable.

4) You show kindness in small ways

Who can resist someone who’s always kind and compassionate? Acts of kindness, big or small, always go a long way. 

Maybe you’re the kind of person who holds the door open for a stranger, or perhaps you’re often complimenting your colleagues on their work. These casual, sweet gestures are actually powerful demonstrations of your kindness and consideration for others and make you more likeable.

According to studies, those who possess virtues like kindness and selflessness are more likely to make desirable romantic partners. 

But don’t be discouraged if someone doesn’t respond favorably to your kindness. 

The positive impact of kindness often ripples through time and influences people in ways that may not be immediately apparent. Therefore, stay committed to kindness, understanding that its effects can transcend initial lack of recognition.

5) You’re not afraid to be yourself

In the digital era where the pursuit of standing out and crafting curated personas is pervasive, authenticity is a breath of fresh air.

You embrace your quirks and idiosyncrasies and aren’t afraid to express your true self. You have no problem going out with a bare face. You have ice cream for breakfast because it lifts your mood. You say no to cohabitation because it’s against your cultural or religious background. 

If this is you, my friend, then you’re a gem.

Authenticity is attractive because it’s rare. It’s refreshing to see someone who doesn’t put on a facade or hide behind social expectations. It makes people feel comfortable around you and inspires them to be themselves too.

Your authenticity draws people towards you, making you more likeable without even trying.

6) You make people feel important

There’s something truly special about the way you make people feel. 

You pay close attention to what they’re saying, making them feel heard and understood. You are generous with compliments and constructive in your feedback. As if that’s not enough, you include them in activities, gatherings, or discussions.

This quality of yours, often unconscious, is a powerful magnet that draws people towards you.

We all crave validation and recognition. And when you give that to someone, they will keep coming back to you. 

7) You’re okay with showing your flaws

Nobody’s perfect, myself included.

I remember a time when I tried to hide my flaws, thinking that they made me less appealing. But over time, I realized that our flaws are what make us human, relatable, and real.

You too, are okay with showing your flaws. You understand that it’s okay not to know everything or be good at everything. You’re comfortable with making mistakes and learning from them.

This openness about your imperfections doesn’t push people away. Instead, it pulls them towards you. It makes you more approachable and relatable.

While you might think of these as flaws, they’re actually contributing to your likeability. Keep embracing your imperfections, as they’re part of what makes you so appealing.

8) You’re respectful of differences

In a diverse world, respect for differences is a beautiful trait that sets you apart.

You understand that everyone comes from different backgrounds and holds different views. Instead of dismissing these differences, you respect them. You’re open to learning from others and appreciate the diversity they bring.

Trust me, this respect for difference doesn’t go unnoticed.

It fosters trust and mutual respect, creating a comfortable environment for others. It shows your maturity and wisdom, making you more likeable in the process.

9) You lead with empathy

At the heart of your likeability lies your empathetic nature. You have a profound ability to understand and share the feelings of others. You don’t just sympathize, you empathize.

Empathy is more than just understanding someone’s feelings. It’s about sharing in their emotional experience. It’s about putting yourself in their shoes and experiencing what they’re going through.

When you lead with empathy, you create deeper connections with those around you. Your empathetic nature is a powerful force that makes you incredibly likeable

In essence: It’s about authenticity

All things considered, being likeable isn’t about striving for popularity or acceptance. It’s about being the best version of yourself and making genuine connections with those around you.

When you are authentic, you present your true self to the world without pretense or a façade. This honesty creates a sense of trust and sincerity that people find appealing.

But that’s not all.

Authenticity also serves as a counterbalance to the often superficial and image-driven nature of the digital era, fostering a cultural shift towards celebrating individual uniqueness. In other words – you’re doing the world a favor for being you. 

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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