13 things you don’t know you’re doing because you’re emotionally scarred

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Life’s journey is marked not only by our experiences but also by the intricate imprints left on us by our emotional scars. 

These past wounds affect our actions and reactions, subtly weaving their way into our everyday behaviors. 

And if you’re not careful, they’ll hold you back.

Ready to learn how your emotional scars could be impacting your life?

Get ready to embark on a journey of self-discovery as I shine a light on some things you might not know you’re doing because you’re emotionally scarred. 

1) Self-sabotaging your success

Unresolved emotional scars can make you shy away from new challenges, fearing failure or rejection. This avoidance might prevent you from seizing opportunities that could lead to personal and professional growth.

By recognizing your tendency to self-sabotage, you can take steps to challenge this behavior and embrace opportunities.

Now, let’s explore another area where emotional scars leave their mark.

2) Underestimating your worth

Do you downplay your accomplishments and undermine your self-worth? Or attribute success to luck rather than acknowledging your hard work and capabilities?

The emotional scars you carry could be to blame.

Building self-appreciation is essential to recognizing and celebrating your achievements, but it’s not easy. 

I’ve been there, and it’s still a battle I face daily.

I tend to dismiss compliments on my work, attributing anything I do well to luck. And I have a nasty case of imposter syndrome telling me I don’t know what I’m doing and don’t deserve recognition. 

Acknowledging my worth is a journey, but I believe it’s a huge stepping stone to a healthier self-image.

3)  Craving perfection

A need for perfection often stems from emotional scars, which may compel you to overcompensate for past perceived inadequacies. 

Of course, there’s no such thing as “perfect,” and this behavior can lead to burnout and self-imposed stress.

Embracing imperfection fosters self-compassion and reduces the need for unattainable standards.

My perfectionism is rooted in a childhood desire for approval. Letting go of this need has allowed me to embrace a more balanced approach and waste less time trying to achieve an impossible goal.

Next, let’s explore the impact of emotional scars on your interpersonal connections.

4) Struggling in relationships

Past betrayals make it hard to trust others, causing you to second-guess others’ intentions and build walls to protect yourself.

Rebuilding trust involves acknowledging past wounds while recognizing that new relationships deserve a clean slate. It’s hard, but it’s worth it.

Emotional scars from past separations can also trigger a fear of abandonment, making you cling to relationships and become overly dependent.

Addressing this fear empowers you to form healthier connections built on mutual respect and independence.

Now, let’s shift our focus to the ways emotional scars influence your communication style.

5) Finding communication difficult

Emotional scars sometimes manifest as passive-aggressive behavior, making expressing your needs and frustrations challenging.

Scars from past relationships could also cause you to over-apologize, even when you’re not at fault, due to a fear of conflict or rejection.

Practicing assertiveness and distinguishing between genuine and unnecessary apologies can help reshape this behavior. It takes practice, but you’ll get there! And when you stop apologizing unnecessarily, you may even experience a boost in self-esteem.

I used to apologize excessively, even for things beyond my control. Recognizing this pattern allowed me to communicate more effectively and feel less like I’m always doing something wrong. 

Next up: Escapism.

6) Seeking escape

Engaging in activities like substance abuse, prolonged TV binge-watching or extensive video gaming often serves as a means of dulling emotional pain.

These behaviors may provide temporary relief, but they aren’t a solution.

To overcome your emotional scars and reduce your need for an escape, start by recognizing them and their impact. 

This self-awareness lays the foundation for seeking professional help, practicing self-compassion and engaging in therapeutic techniques.

Now, let’s explore the link between emotional scars and your ability to set boundaries.

7) Not establishing healthy boundaries

Past boundary violations can lead to difficulties in setting and enforcing healthy limits, leaving you vulnerable to manipulation or overextension.

Emotional scars might also push you to prioritize others’ needs at your own expense, sacrificing personal boundaries for fear of rejection or conflict.

Balancing compassion for others with self-care is crucial for breaking free from this people-pleasing pattern.

It can be tough, but reclaiming your boundaries is an act of self-care that safeguards your emotional well-being.

Constantly putting others first strains my well-being and often prevents me from establishing and enforcing boundaries. Recognizing this behavior has allowed me to start working on prioritizing myself.

Moving forward, let’s talk about how emotional scars shape your emotional responses.

8) Having overly emotional reactions

Do you find yourself freaking out over even the most insignificant problems without understanding why? 

Scars from past trauma often cause intense emotional reactions disproportionate to the current situation, hindering effective problem-solving.

Mindfulness and self-awareness techniques can help you manage emotional triggers and respond more thoughtfully. It’s easier to shut down over-the-top reactions when you know why certain things trigger you. 

Emotional scars can cause you to avoid situations where you may feel vulnerable, fearing potential hurt. 

But being vulnerable isn’t a bad thing.

Embracing vulnerability is essential for forming authentic relationships and encouraging emotional growth.

9) Constantly criticizing yourself

Emotional scars often create a mean inner voice that points out flaws and mistakes. 

This voice comes from past hurts, making you feel like you’re not good enough. 

This harsh self-critique can stop you from trying new things or believing in yourself. It might make you avoid challenges or feel anxious about making decisions. 

To combat this, practice being kind to yourself. Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend. This helps weaken the mean inner voice and builds self-esteem, allowing you to grow and change.

All sorts of things can trigger a mean inner voice, but the next thing you do because of emotional scars can take a toll on your self-worth.

10) Behaving impulsively

Do you make large purchases with little thought to whether you can afford to do so? 

Or do you impulsively engage in other reckless behavior?

Emotional scars sometimes lead to impulsive actions — sudden decisions made without much thought. This happens because the wounds make it hard to handle strong feelings. 

When old wounds are triggered, impulsive behavior might offer a quick way to make yourself feel better. But later, it often leads to regret and additional problems. 

To manage impulsivity from emotional scars, learn better ways to handle emotions, recognize triggers and seek help. This helps break the cycle and leads to wiser, more thoughtful choices.

11) Refusing help

People with emotional scars often avoid therapy and other forms of help because they believe they can handle their pain alone or fear facing their past traumas. 

This belief might stop you from seeking professional help, even though therapy could be beneficial. 

And the fear of revisiting painful memories can be overwhelming, making you hesitant to confront your past. 

However, by recognizing these challenges and gradually facing them, you can break free from the grip of their emotional scars and work toward healing.

If you are someone who refuses help, you may also struggle with forgiveness.

12) Resisting forgiveness

Lingering emotional scars can make forgiveness challenging, holding you back from releasing resentment and finding closure.

But forgiveness is a gift you give yourself to break free from the burden of past pain.

I spent many years struggling to forgive struggled to forgive the person behind my most traumatic experience, but understanding the power of forgiveness led me to a path of healing and peace. 

If you struggle with this, remind yourself that forgiving someone isn’t always about them, and it doesn’t mean you’re saying what they did or said was okay. 

It’s about letting go and no longer letting that person have such a profound impact on your life.

Finally, let’s explore the link between emotional scars and your ability to heal and grow.

13) Avoiding growth and healing

Emotional scars silently shape our lives, often keeping us from growing and healing. 

One common trap is clinging to the familiar, finding comfort in familiar pain and avoiding new experiences. 

Another pitfall is adopting a victim mentality, which keeps you from taking control of your healing journey. We often bury our emotions to evade pain, delaying our progress and leaving us with unresolved issues. 

These scars can also distort our self-image, making us believe we’re flawed and limiting our growth.

Closing thoughts

By understanding the subtle behaviors shaped by your emotional scars, you empower yourself to rewrite your story. 

Embrace your newfound awareness as a compass guiding you toward a future defined by authenticity, growth and meaningful connections.

As you reflect on your journey, remember that you can overcome your scars. I hope this encourages you to navigate your feelings, relationships and personal growth with a newfound sense of clarity, purpose and the strength that comes from understanding and embracing your emotional scars.

Lost Your Sense of Purpose?

In this age of information overload and pressure to meet others’ expectations, many struggle to connect with their core purpose and values. It’s easy to lose your inner compass.

Jeanette Brown created this free values discovery PDF to help clarify your deepest motivations and beliefs. As an experienced life coach and self-improvement teacher, Jeanette guides people through major transitions by realigning them with their principles.

Her uniquely insightful values exercises will illuminate what inspires you, what you stand for, and how you aim to operate. This serves as a refreshing filter to tune out societal noise so you can make choices rooted in what matters most to you.

With your values clearly anchored, you’ll gain direction, motivation and the compass to navigate decisions from your best self – rather than fleeting emotion or outside influences.

Stop drifting without purpose. Rediscover what makes you come alive with Jeanette Brown’s values clarity guide.

 

Samantha Howard

Samantha Howard is a freelance writer who has been crafting captivating content since 2006. Embracing the freedom of freelancing, she has explored countless subjects over the years, ranging from health and pet care to family, relationships, travel, and fashion. She views every project as an opportunity to learn, grow, and connect with diverse audiences.

Samantha enjoys spending time in nature, reading, and crafting when she's not typing away at her keyboard. No matter what she’s doing, she almost always has a cup of coffee and at least one cat by her side.

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