8 things women find highly attractive in a man that have nothing to do with looks

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There’s a common misconception that physical appearance is the only thing women find attractive in a man. But believe me, there’s so much more to it.

It’s not just about how you look; it’s about who you are as a person.

As someone who’s been studying mindfulness and Buddhism for years, I’ve come to understand that attraction is about far more than just physicality.

In fact, there are quite a few traits that women find incredibly attractive in men that have absolutely nothing to do with looks.

In this article, I’m going to share 8 of these non-physical traits with you.

1) Emotional intelligence

Let’s be honest, emotional intelligence is seriously attractive. And it’s often underestimated in its power of attraction.

Emotional intelligence is about being aware of your own feelings, as well as the feelings of others. It’s about understanding and managing emotions in a healthy and positive way.

From what I’ve seen, women are drawn like magnets to guys who can tap into empathy, who can dive deep into meaningful conversations, and who aren’t afraid to show vulnerability. It’s like catnip for the soul.

When a man flaunts his emotional intelligence, it’s like he’s waving a flag that says, “Hey, I’m not just about me; I get you too.” And trust me, that kind of emotional depth is pure gold in the dating world. 

2) Authenticity

Let me lay it out for you: there’s nothing, I mean nothing, that beats the magnetism of authenticity. Trust me on this one—being real? It’s like a beacon of light in a sea of superficiality.

Take it from Buddhism—they’ve got this concept called “Satya,” which basically boils down to being true to yourself and others. And truthfulness, my friend, is like catnip for connection, especially when it comes to attraction.

Here’s the deal: people, and yeah, women especially, are drawn like moths to a flame to folks who wear their hearts on their sleeves. No smoke and mirrors, no fancy façades—just straight-up, unapologetic realness.

In the words of Thich Nhat Hanh, a renowned mindfulness expert and Buddhist monk, “To be beautiful means to be yourself. You don’t need to be accepted by others. You need to accept yourself.”

3) Compassion

Compassion isn’t just a nice-to-have trait—it sets a man apart.

Being compassionate shows that you’re not wrapped up in your own world, but that you’re willing to step into someone else’s shoes, to share their pain, their joy, their experiences.

Women find this trait highly attractive in a man because it shows depth of character and signifies a capacity for love and understanding that goes beyond superficial levels.

Sure, society might paint this picture of men as these tough, emotionless beings, but let me clue you in: that’s a load of nonsense. A man with compassion is a real catch. It’s the kind of quality that lights a fire in a woman’s heart because she knows it paves the way for a relationship that’s real, deep, and oh-so-fulfilling. 

4) Mindfulness

Mindfulness isn’t just a buzzword. It’s a way of life that speaks volumes about a person’s character, and it’s incredibly attractive.

Being mindful means being present, fully engaged in the here and now, not lost in past regrets or future worries. It’s about appreciating the moment, the people around you, and the experiences you’re sharing.

A man who practices mindfulness shows that he values his time and the time of others. He’s not distracted, but fully invested in his interactions. This level of attention and respect is something women find highly attractive.

But it’s also raw and honest. It signifies a willingness to connect on a deeper level, to truly engage with others, to see and appreciate them for who they are.

5) Humility

Humility is a trait that never fails to attract. It’s about knowing your worth, but not letting it turn into ego or arrogance.

In my book, Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego, I delve into the concept of humility from a Buddhist perspective.

Buddhism teaches us that ego is a source of suffering, and humility is the antidote. A humble man is attractive because he doesn’t need to boast or show off to feel good about himself. He’s secure in his self-worth and doesn’t need validation from others.

Women find this lack of pretense refreshing and attractive. A humble man makes those around him feel valued and appreciated, not overshadowed or belittled.

6) Patience

In a world that’s always in a hurry, patience is a rare and attractive quality.

Patience is about understanding that not everything has to happen right now. It’s about being able to wait, to let things unfold naturally without forcing outcomes.

A patient man doesn’t rush into decisions or relationships. He takes his time, he listens, he understands. This shows a level of respect and consideration that women find deeply attractive.

Patience also indicates maturity and emotional intelligence. It shows that you’re not ruled by impulsive desires but can take a step back and make thoughtful decisions.

7) Resilience

Let’s talk about resilience—the kind that doesn’t just help you survive, but propels you to thrive, even in the most trying times. And guess what? It’s a quality that women find downright magnetic.

Life throws curveballs at all of us. Challenges and setbacks are inevitable. But a resilient man? He doesn’t let them knock him down for long. Instead, he uses them as stepping stones to growth and empowerment.

When a man embodies resilience, it speaks volumes to a woman. It shows her that he’s not afraid to tackle life’s storms, that he’s someone she can count on when the going gets tough. He’s not invincible, but he’s unwavering in his resolve to bounce back stronger, every single time. And let me tell you, that kind of resilience? It’s irresistible.

8) Ability to enjoy silence

This may sound counterintuitive, but the ability to enjoy silence is actually a highly attractive trait.

In our noisy, fast-paced world, silence is often viewed as uncomfortable or awkward. But in mindfulness practice, silence is embraced. It’s seen as a space for reflection, for being present, and for truly connecting with oneself and others.

A man who can appreciate silence shows that he’s comfortable with his thoughts and emotions. He doesn’t need constant chatter or entertainment to feel at ease.

This signals a depth of character and mindfulness that women find intriguing and attractive. It shows that you’re not afraid of introspection, that you’re comfortable in your own skin.

Manifesting magnetism: Be the spark that ignites desire!

So there you have it—eight non-physical traits that women find highly attractive in a man. Remember, attraction is more than skin deep. It’s about who you are as a person, how you treat others, and how you view the world.

And the good news is, all these traits can be cultivated. With mindfulness, patience, and a little self-awareness, you can become the kind of man that women find irresistibly attractive.

If you’re interested in delving deeper into some of these concepts, particularly humility and living with minimum ego, I invite you to check out my book Hidden Secrets of Buddhism: How To Live With Maximum Impact and Minimum Ego. It’s packed with insights to help you live a more fulfilling and attractive life.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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