Alexandra Plesa
Things I felt self-conscious about today include my nails, which I’m not particularly fond of, and saying “you too” when the delivery guy told me to enjoy my meal.
While everyone struggles with self-doubt, some handle it better than others.
The more self-assured you are, it turns out, the less awkwardness you experience.
In fact, here are 11 things truly confident people don’t get self-conscious about.
I’ll try to keep these in mind next time I stare at my nails for a full minute.
1) Looks
Confident people are comfortable in their skin, so they are less likely to be overly self-conscious about their physical appearance.
If they have a bad hair day, they don’t sweat it. If they spill something on their shirt when they go out, their night isn’t ruined.
They highlight their good attributes and celebrate their bodies just as they are.
Is this something you need to work on? I have a few tips that may help:
- Focus on nutrition, exercise, and sleep rather than on achieving a certain appearance
- Wear clothes that make you feel good and express your personality instead of following trends
- Stop comparing yourself to others (especially celebrities or influencers)
- Learn to appreciate what your body can do
- Use affirmations to reinforce body positivity
- Acknowledge and cultivate your qualities beyond physical appearance
Your confidence will grow with each passing day.
2) Having opinions
Have you ever expressed an unpopular opinion, only for the entire group to give you the side eye?
It happens to confident people, too, but they don’t make a big deal about it.
They don’t need to over-explain why they have that opinion or convince everyone that it’s right.
Since they don’t feed on external validation, feeling self-conscious is a waste of time.
Trust your judgment. Everyone else’s is just noise.
3) Their job
Chances are, you had a less-than-desirable job at some point.
My first paid gig involved sorting dirty bottles at a recycling center during a summer in high school. Glamorous, it was not.
Even when I got my first “real” job as a journalist, I felt self-conscious about making very little money, especially compared to friends who worked in better-paid fields.
Your job isn’t who you are. It’s just what you do.
Truly confident people don’t feel self-conscious about:
- Having to work multiple jobs to make ends meet
- Having an unconventional job
- Having a job others look down on
- Not being interested in building a successful career
- Devoting all their resources to building a successful career
- Being in between jobs (especially given the current economic climate)
As long as you feel good about what you do or are actively working to improve your current circumstances, what others think of your professional choices is none of your business.
4) Receiving feedback
Confident individuals are open to constructive criticism.
For them, it’s an opportunity to grow, not a personal attack that makes them curl under the covers and cry forever.
(Not that I’m speaking from experience.)
The self-esteem of a confident person isn’t solely dependent on external validation.
So, when someone offers them suggestions about how to improve, they don’t get emotional and interpret it as a critique of their whole personality.
If the feedback is valid, they make use of it moving forward.
Additionally, they see receiving feedback as a chance to reflect on their behavior.
Regardless of how well you think you know yourself, we all have blind spots. Hearing how others assess our progress offers much-needed perspective.
5) Money
Money is another thing truly confident people don’t feel self-conscious about.
If you do, you’re probably embarrassed about your financial status, compare yourself to others, or worry excessively about making financial decisions.
I mentioned making little money in my first real job. The truth is, I’ve never been a high earner.
I write for a living. While I’m lucky enough to support myself, I made peace knowing that I’ll never swim in a pool of cash à la Scrooge McDuck.
But feeling content with my financial situation hasn’t always been easy. As a freelancer, I had moments of doubt, especially in between projects.
I said no to trips and nights out.
While my friends with steady jobs were buying their first homes, I rented a small apartment to keep expenses manageable.
And while I’ve never been interested in becoming a homeowner, I was self-conscious about not affording it if I wanted to.
Thankfully, I learned to see the bigger picture. Getting a corporate job or switching careers might earn me more, but it’s not worth sacrificing my flexibility.
Many people experience financial challenges at various points in their lives.
Feeling self-conscious only adds more anxiety to the mix.
6) Meeting new people
It’s common to feel a little nervous when you meet new people.
But if you’re experiencing discomfort to the point where you can’t connect to others, it’s an issue worth addressing.
Truly confident people don’t get self-conscious about introducing themselves to someone new, even if that person is intimidating.
My advice? Actively engage in social situations to exercise your social skills.
As you interact with more people, you’ll realize that everyone has insecurities.
Even the most imposing person in the room.
7) Taking a risk
Their belief in their abilities makes confident people more likely to take professional and personal risks.
When you feel self-conscious about venturing into the unknown, you’re more likely to give up if others give you a hard time.
You’ll retreat to your comfort zone, where everything is cozy and nice and boring.
Let’s say you want to start a TikTok channel as a side hustle.
Will your friends make fun of you? They’re not true friends if they don’t.
Will users leave nasty comments? Definitely, the internet is not a safe space.
Furthermore, sharing your crafts, workouts, or life with virtual strangers will feel weird in the beginning.
Fast-forward to a year from now, and you’ll be grateful you started when you did.
If you succeed, you’ll be a little richer.
And if you fail? You’ll have no regrets.
8) Being wrong
Speaking of failure, truly confident people don’t get self-conscious about making mistakes.
When you’re willing to take a risk, you understand that being successful is not a given.
But you also know that, worst case scenario, you had the guts to give it a shot.
Adopt a growth mindset.
See failures as opportunities for learning, and be open to trying new strategies to achieve your goals.
This will steadily build your confidence in the long run.
9) Taking their time
One of the most important things I’ve learned with age is that you need to do things on your own schedule. External pressure and expectations set you up for failure.
You don’t have to work your dream job by 25 or find your soulmate by 30.
Truly confident people don’t get self-conscious about taking their time to achieve big milestones, and neither should you.
The best things in life don’t come easy. Sometimes, you have to wait for a while to achieve your goals.
That said, being a late bloomer doesn’t diminish your success. Quite the opposite.
10) Asking for help
Contrary to popular belief, people with high self-confidence don’t feel the need to “do it all.”
In some cases, they’re confident because they have a robust support system they can rely on, and they don’t get self-conscious about asking for help.
Being self-reliant is beneficial, but only as long as it doesn’t lead to burnout or cause unnecessary stress.
Next time you feel uneasy about asking a loved one for a favor, rest assured: they’ll be happy to lend a hand.
And if they think less of you for reaching out?
You weren’t as close as you thought in the first place.
11) Prioritizing self-care
Truly confident people don’t get self-conscious about putting their well-being first.
They recognize that their needs are important and dedicate time to activities that nourish and recharge them.
This involves setting clear boundaries to prevent overwhelm, as well as occasionally saying “no” to managers or friends.
As a people-pleaser, I know it’s not easy. Whenever someone I care about asks for assistance, my default reaction is to run to their side, even if I’m buried in work or longing for “me time.”
But if you don’t take care of your physical and emotional health, who will?
If you want to stay in and catch up on sleep the entire weekend, do it.
Feeling self-conscious about it will only prevent you from getting proper rest.
Bottom line
Life is messy, not everyone will like you, and nails look weird sometimes.
At the end of the day, there isn’t a lot you should feel self-conscious about.
Truly confident people clearly don’t.
It’s about time everyone else followed their example.
