When I first met my partner, I was a bit overwhelmed by him – he has a personality larger than life, and I often worried that I might get swallowed up in it!
But as the years have gone on (we’re now in year 5), I’ve learned how to manage his strong character while also maintaining my sense of individuality.
With that being said, I wish I had had a manual to guide me when we first started out!
So, if you’ve found yourself dating someone with a strong personality, this article will tell you everything you need to know and how best to love someone with so much charisma!
1) They value independence
The first thing you need to know about dating someone with a strong personality is they absolutely LOVE their independence.
They know who they are, and they don’t need friends or a partner to validate them or their decisions. They like being in control, and they have their own goals and hobbies to focus on as well as their love life.
So, if you swoop on in and expect them to be at your every beck and call, you’ve got another thing coming!
Because people with strong personalities will fight for their freedom, no matter how much they like or love you.
That’s why I’d suggest giving them the space they need.
This might seem daunting, or even strange at first, but as you get to know and trust each other, you’ll realize they just need some downtime to do their own thing and recharge their batteries – it actually doesn’t have anything to do with you!
2) They can be confrontational
Now, this is an area I struggled with when I first met my boyfriend. I thought I could be confrontational but he took things to the next level, and it made me think twice about our relationship.
That is until I learned what his triggers were.
Through many honest, open conversations, we’ve got to a point where we understand each other, and thankfully have fewer confrontations.
So, if the person you’re dating has particularly strong opinions and is quick to get heated, try setting out some ground rules. This might include things like:
Agreeing to take ten minutes apart to cool down
Setting boundaries so both of you know which limits not to cross
Listening to each other’s viewpoints before jumping to conclusions
Making sure your feelings are heard and understood
Ultimately, everyone handles conflict differently, so you’ll have to work together to find the best solution for you.
But know that just because someone is confrontational, it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re a bad person (unless things turn toxic!). Some people, especially those with big personalities, are simply passionate!
3) They know what they want
And one of the reasons people with strong personalities can be confrontational is because they know what they want.
They may have a lot of opinions, a strong moral compass, or a set of values that they hold high.
And all of this can be quite intimidating if you’ve never met someone like this before!
But the truth is, this makes them a great choice for a partner.
They know what they’re looking for in love, and they’re not the type of people to waste time.
And if that isn’t reason enough?
They’re usually quite happy to take the lead! So, if you’re someone who enjoys handing over the responsibility or planning, this will suit you perfectly.
On the other hand, if you’re like me and you enjoy being in control, you may need to have a sit down with the person you’re dating and work out a system in which both of you get to run the ship!
4) They have strong boundaries
Earlier, I mentioned putting boundaries in place during confrontations.
But here’s the thing:
People with strong personalities tend to have strong boundaries in place already.
This also ties in with knowing what they want and having plenty of self-respect.
As you’re getting to know this person, their boundaries may seem over the top. You might even think that they think a bit too highly of themselves.
But with time, you’ll realize that people with strong personalities are vulnerable like everyone else. They might seem confident and secure, and for the most part, they are.
However, that doesn’t mean they don’t need to protect themselves.
Their boundaries have likely been developed over time, and rather than battle them, it’s best to try and understand them!
5) They can be stubborn
Now, you can take this point as good or bad…
For sure, you’ll find arguing with someone who has a strong personality very frustrating. They are stubborn and they will stick with their opinion for as long as they can!
But on the other hand…
When you get to the airport five minutes late and your SO refuses to budge until they let you on the plane, you’ll appreciate this stubbornness!
So, like with every relationship, you’ve got to take the good with the bad.
And whilst you’re still in the dating phase, why not take this time to really explore their personality?
Ask questions. Observe. See how they react in different situations and with different people.
Big personalities can be a lot to handle, but underneath them is a person just like you and me, someone who wants to be loved and cared for!
6) They have high expectations
Another thing to know about dating someone with a strong personality is that they’ll probably have high expectations.
If food isn’t cooked to perfection, they won’t be afraid to call over the waiter.
If a job isn’t done to their standards, they’ll complain.
Put it this way – they know what they want from life and they don’t stop until they get it!
And just as with being stubborn, this can be a good thing and a bad thing.
Very early on in my relationship, I had to explain to my partner that we both work differently. He’s a perfectionist, I’m not.
And he would sometimes imply that I could do more, or push me to try a little harder.
Sometimes it was welcomed, but other times I had to remind him that we’re two different people who have our own ways of doing things!
It took him a little while, but he’s learned to respect our differences.
So, whilst having high expectations might seem off putting at first, communicate how you feel with your partner. If they’re mature enough, they’ll respect you as an individual, and avoid holding you to such high standards as they do!
7) They’re not afraid to speak their mind
If you’re dating someone with a strong personality, you’ve probably already worked out this point!
Yes, they’re full of opinions and aren’t afraid to share them!
Personally, I like this. There’s always something to talk about, and I enjoy hearing my partner’s perspective on things.
However, with that being said, some people with strong personalities may come across as being:
If you do find that the person you’re dating displays the above traits, it’s well worth letting them know and explaining how this behavior can make you and others feel.
Because although people with strong personalities tend to be self-aware, they too can miss the mark and make mistakes!
8) They value authenticity
If you’re dating someone with a strong personality and you’re not being authentic?
You might as well give up now!
Because the truth is, people like this value authenticity more than anything.
They’re genuine and they display who they are for the world to see, so they want the same in a partner. That’s fair, right?
So, it’s super important that you don’t put on an act. Because your date will quickly realize what’s going on, and it might end awkwardly.
Be yourself – even if you’re shy, nervous, nothing like the strong personality sitting in front of you – you never know. They might be falling in love with your shyness.
And remember – sometimes strong personalities need balancing out.
For example, my partner is an extrovert, I lean more toward being introverted. We complement each other even though we’re not the same.
But I made sure he knew I wouldn’t be going out every weekend from the moment we met, so there were no nasty surprises later down the line!
9) They’ll push you to be your best self
Now for one of the points I’m most excited about:
If you’re dating someone with a strong personality (and a good heart) they’ll push you to be your best self and live your best life!
They see your potential and worth, even if you don’t.
They can be incredibly encouraging and uplifting.
And while you may (for good reason) feel concerned that you’ll get swallowed up or live in the shadow of their character, if they’re a good person, they won’t allow that to happen.
Instead, they’ll encourage you to get out into the world and live life on your terms.
And that leads me to the next point:
10) They make great life partners
I’d like to end the article by saying that those with strong personalities can come across as overbearing or “too much to handle”, but they will also:
Keep you forever entertained
Make you roar with laughter
Surprise you with their passion and love
Show up for the relationship and take responsibility
And that’s just to list a few things!
The truth is, if he or she seems like a good person, don’t let their strong personality put you off (unless you really find it unattractive).
Although I’m just one example, I’m forever grateful that I gave my boyfriend a chance and didn’t give up after the first few weeks.
Because, for as many negative qualities people with strong personalities have, they also have a ton of fabulous characters to bring to the table.
And as a result, they can make incredibly great life partners!