8 things strong, ambitious women do way differently

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Anyone with ambition radiates a different kind of energy. They have confidence, drive, and enthusiasm. They genuinely believe in themselves, no matter the circumstances.

This special kind of energy oozes into all elements of their life, from how they date to the way they send an email.

Keep reading to learn the top 8 things strong, ambitious women do way differently (and how to start doing them yourself!).

1) They skip the “just” in their emails

Strong ambitious women email differently. They “just” do (it’s allowed in this context).

Writing the word “just” before stating a fact or asking a question exudes a lack of confidence and uncertainty.

It’s an easy word to include in your vocabulary, whether you’re emailing, texting, or talking to someone. But it can be detrimental to the point you’re making.

So the following sentence:

“Just checking in to see when this will be ready?”


“I’m checking in. When will this be ready?”

Or, better yet:

“When will this be ready?”

Strong, ambitious women don’t beat around the bush or feel afraid of asking direct questions. They simply ask them, because there’s nothing rude about asking a question without saying “just”.

Once you start realizing how much you include the word “just” in your vocabulary, it’s easy to see how it can make you seem less confident.

2) When the situation is right, they tell, not ask

This can only be done in certain circumstances depending on the job you have and how receptive your boss is.

But, when the time is right, strong women tell, not ask. A great example of this is when they are booking vacation days for an essential, pre-booked appointment.

When a strong, ambitious woman needs the time off, they say, “I’ve booked Wednesday off because I have an appointment”.

They don’t say, “Can I have Wednesday off for an appointment?”.

The appointment is already booked and it’s essential for your health, life, work, etc., so there’s no need to ask. Because if they say no, it’ll be a big issue to reorganize.

Sure, your boss may still say no if you tell them rather than ask them. But many people fear confrontation, so they’re less likely to challenge you if you tell them, rather than ask them.

3) They make statements and ask controlled questions

In professional settings, strong ambitious women inform, enlighten, and ask the right questions when speaking professionally.

For example, if they’re in a meeting and they notice a paragraph on a marketing paper is repeated, they won’t say:

“Is this section duplicated in this section?”

Instead, they’ll say:

“This section is a repeat of this section. Should we remove it?”

The first example gets people to debate whether what you’ve said is correct. But you know it’s correct, so that shouldn’t be the question.

The question should be, “Should we remove it?”, rather than, “Am I correct?”.

It’s a big difference, and strong, ambitious women know this.

4) They talk openly about their successes (especially with their bosses)

A lesson I learned way too late in my career is that I didn’t shout about my successes as much as I should have. I’ll always remember the moment this clicked.

I was sitting next to a colleague; one I don’t normally sit next to. He was always first in line for new work and was a well-respected member of the team.

Our Director approached him and asked a casual, “How are things going?”. Without hesitation, he reeled off all his latest successes, even the tiny ones. He even read out complimentary emails he’d received from other departments recently.

My Director loved this news. They talked for ages, and I lost count of how many “Well done’s” he got.

Whereas when I used to get complimentary emails, I’d smile, feel good, and get on with my day. I thought this was noble, but it was foolish.

My colleague was well respected because people knew the compliments he got. But how could I ever achieve that same level of respect if I kept my good news to myself?

Some may call this gloating, but I see now that it’s not. It’s a habit of a strong, ambitious woman, and I wish I’d started doing it sooner.

5) They date with freedom and purpose

Strong women date differently. They know what they want, but they aren’t chasing or forcing anything.

That doesn’t mean to say that every strong, ambitious woman is dating for marriage. Just that they know what they’re looking for and they date with intention and purpose.

And, either way, they’re happy if they find what they’re looking for, and happy if they don’t.

Because they live their life freely and know that whatever comes their way, comes their way.

6) They dress for themselves

Another thing strong women do differently lies in the way they dress. They don’t skip on an outfit because of what an allusive “someone else” may think. 

They wear their bold, professional outfits to work if that’s what they want to wear.

They go for that little black dress at the mixer because it’s what they feel good wearing.

And they wear their comfy tracksuit and jumper to the coffee shop, even if it feels too casual, because it’s what they want to wear.

They have their own style, and they dress for themselves, always. 

7) They don’t answer questions they don’t want to

Strong women with ambition have boundaries, and they don’t let others cross them.

If someone asks a question that they don’t want to answer, they don’t answer it. It’s as simple as that.

Because, even though it often feels like it, we’re under no obligation to answer anybody’s questions (unless it’s something serious, of course, like part of a criminal investigation).

If a work colleague asks questions about when they’re planning on having kids, who they’re dating, why they were off work yesterday, or how much their rent costs each month, they don’t answer if they don’t want to.

They know how to politely decline the question with an, “I’d rather not answer that question” or “I’d like to keep that information to myself for now”.

Because they like to keep their private life separate from their work life when they want to.

And if they want to talk about their private life, it’s because they want to. Not because they feel pressured to.

8) They keep secrets

Strong women know their worth isn’t defined by how much gossip they know.

Sure, they could engage in the office kitchen conversation or virtual “catch up” and share all the latest drama they know.

But will it make them more respected? Probably not.

There’s beauty in knowing things but keeping them to yourself. There’s even more beauty in people finding out after that you knew all along, but kept it to yourself until the time was right.

Like if you knew someone was leaving, but kept quiet until the news came out before revealing that you knew all along.

Or if you knew about a pregnancy before it was announced.

When your colleagues find out you knew, they’ll have a higher degree of respect for you. They’ll trust you more. And they’ll know that they can tell you things in confidence.

If your colleagues notice, management will, too. And it’s never a bad thing for your career to be respected and trusted by management.

Final thoughts

Strong, ambitious women are who they are because of the things they do and the way they do them.

Anyone can become strong and ambitious if they pay attention to their habits and make a few lifestyle changes.

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Tina Fey

I'm Tina Fey, the founder of the blog Love Connection. I've extremely passionate about sharing relationship advice. I've studied psychology and have my Masters in marital, family, and relationship counseling. I hope with all my heart to help you improve your relationships, and I hope that even if one thing I write helps you, it means more to me than just about anything else in the world. Check out my blog Love Connection, and if you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Twitter

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