10 things socially intelligent people always do

Intelligence comes in many forms, and not everyone is intelligent in the same way.

Some people excel academically, while others have remarkable artistic skills or exceptional social skills.

It’s not uncommon for people to wonder why some individuals seem to effortlessly attract others and be popular.

It’s not just about having a charming appearance or body language, but also about their social aptitude and ability to make others feel important.

If you’re curious whether you or someone you know is socially intelligent, here are 10 common traits that socially intelligent people tend to exhibit:

1) They Carefully Choose Their Words

Socially intelligent people are tactful when it comes to their words.

They don’t simply think before they click, they actually contemplate before they speak.

They are careful in choosing their words not just for the sake of being agreeable with others so they’d be liked, but to avoid hurting their feelings.

It’s a crucial element of social intelligence that some people tend to overlook.

I’ve noticed that some individuals are great at making small talk and having fun, but they don’t have many close friends.

The ability to express oneself carefully can enhance one’s charm and attractiveness, and socially intelligent people recognize this fact.

2) They Keep An Open Mind On Criticisms

While some might suggest that you ignore criticism and not seek validation from others, socially intelligent individuals have a different perspective.

They encourage you to welcome criticism as an opportunity to improve and identify areas for personal growth that you may have missed.

It’s important to keep an open mind and listen to feedback, but ultimately, it’s up to you to filter through the comments and determine which ones to consider.

I’ve noticed a lot of social media posts promoting the idea of not seeking validation and keeping to yourself.

While it’s important to have confidence in who you are, I wonder how these messages might hinder people’s personal growth.

Being open to criticism and feedback can be a valuable tool for becoming the best version of yourself.

Being open minded to others’ criticisms is one of the reasons why socially intelligent people have such interesting and dynamic personalities.

Instead of being offended by criticisms or ignoring those, they actually hear those out and transform them into positivity and growth.

3) They Listen More Than They Talk

Many people assume that socially intelligent individuals always want to be in the spotlight. However, this is far from the truth.

These people are often more interested in listening to others than speaking themselves, which is why they may seem to have more interesting things to say.

They genuinely enjoy hearing stories from people of all backgrounds and avoid engaging in gossip.

By doing so, they gain a broader perspective on life and continuously improve their own personalities.

Personally, I’ve observed the contrasting personalities of my peers during dinners or hangouts.

In my friend group, there are individuals who may be more reserved or talkative, but what stands out to me is how socially intelligent individuals facilitate conversations and make everyone feel valued and important.

They have a gift for bringing people out of their shells and creating a comfortable environment for everyone to participate in.

4) They Exhibit Genuine Empathy

Socially intelligent people possess a unique trait that sets them apart from others – empathy.

They tend to listen more than they talk and choose their words carefully, which allows them to have an almost accurate feel of other people’s emotions.

This heightened sense of empathy helps them avoid being insensitive, annoying, or offensive.

It’s no wonder that many people seem to like socially intelligent individuals because their genuine empathy makes them adept at knowing what to do in most situations.

They are often praised for their ability to say the right things and make others feel better.

However, being socially intelligent isn’t something that comes naturally to everyone, just like intellectual intelligence.

It takes a combination of innate talent and learned skills to become socially intelligent.

But, with practice and patience, anyone can improve their social skills and become more empathetic towards others.

5) They Avoid Incessant Complaining

Socially intelligent people have a unique approach to handling negativity – they refuse to dwell on it.

They don’t deny their problems, but they also don’t want to burden others with their issues.

They understand that everyone has their own set of problems to deal with and don’t want to add to that burden.

I believe that many people tend to steer clear of those who constantly complain and seem to enjoy playing the victim.

This is because their negative energy can be overwhelming and draining for those around them.

Socially intelligent individuals know this and strive to maintain a positive outlook, even in the face of adversity.

There’s nothing wrong with opening up to others, but consistently acting like a victim and making it a point to show others how much self-pity you’re having is a big no-no for socially intelligent people.

Even when they’re down or unsatisfied with anything, they still focus on the brighter side of the situation and the solutions that they can do to resolve their problems.

6) They Avoid Judging Other People

Growing up, the movies I watched about socially intelligent people always seemed to portray them as mean girls who constantly gossiped about others.

However, this couldn’t be further from the truth. A true mark of social intelligence is knowing better than to judge and gossip about others.

Socially intelligent people have a unique ability to navigate social situations without resorting to gossip or putting others down.

They understand that everyone has their own story to tell, and it’s not their place to share it with the world.

Of course, like everyone else, socially intelligent people do make judgments about others.

The difference is that they don’t feel the need to express these judgments out loud or criticize others for their imperfections and mistakes.

Instead, socially intelligent individuals focus on building positive relationships and finding common ground with others. They are empathetic and understanding, and they know that treating others with kindness and respect is key to building strong connections.

In the end, the movies I watched growing up may have been entertaining, but they were far from accurate portrayals of true social intelligence.

7) They Avoid Being A Know-It-All

In general, people don’t appreciate those who act like they know everything, and socially intelligent people are aware of this.

They don’t just talk about what to do or say, they actually do it.

When they also possess intellectual intelligence, they don’t feel the need to show off or take credit for their ideas.

This is a key difference between social and intellectual intelligence, and why some people might find intellectually intelligent individuals annoying at times.

Being likable is an important quality for socially intelligent people, and they understand that trying to impress others can have the opposite effect.

This doesn’t mean that socially intelligent people act dumb, they simply don’t pretend to know everything or flaunt their knowledge.

They don’t want to intimidate or push people away by coming off as a know-it-all.

8) They Remember Details About Others

Socially intelligent people have a great memory when it comes to the smallest details that others share with them.

And you know what’s really cool about that? It makes people feel good around them!

When you notice that someone remembers something small that you mentioned in passing, it’s a great feeling.

It’s like you matter to them and they value what you say. And socially intelligent people understand this.

They know that even the little things are important, so they make an effort to remember them.

Personally, I’ve made so many friends just by remembering small details that people shared with me during conversations.

It doesn’t matter if it’s something they said in a deep conversation or just a casual chat. It all counts!

Socially intelligent people don’t do this to make themselves look good, they do it because they genuinely care about others and want to make them feel important.

9) They Create A Safe Space For Others

Most people have the notion that socially intelligent people are extroverts who always want to push introverts out of their comfort zones.

However, true socially intelligent people are empathetic and they know better than to force others to do what they don’t intend to do.

Instead of pushing others who aren’t comfortable to take on the spotlight, they create a safe space to encourage introverts to share more of themselves only if they’d like to.

Not all socially intelligent people are extroverts who only know how to talk all day long.

In contrast, socially intelligent people are well-versed in spending quality time with people and getting people to like them simply by being themselves.

10) They Love Learning From Others

Socially intelligent people don’t always think that others should agree with them. They find joy in learning from other perspectives and challenging their own viewpoints in life.

Debates can also be fun, and I think it’s a good conversation starter to build better rapport with others and build deeper connections.

People who are socially intelligent love picking up new things from others.

Despite their social intelligence, they know that there’s still much of the world left to be explored and there’s still so much they can share about themselves that others can also contribute to.

Socially intelligent people are the way that they are not because they know how to talk or avoid awkward situations, but because they are simply kind and expressive.

They are treated in the way that they treat others, which means that their interest in other people makes it easy for others to reciprocate their interest as well.

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Lachlan Brown

I’m Lachlan Brown, the founder, and editor of Hack Spirit. I love writing practical articles that help others live a mindful and better life. I have a graduate degree in Psychology and I’ve spent the last 15 years reading and studying all I can about human psychology and practical ways to hack our mindsets. Check out my latest book on the Hidden Secrets of Buddhism and How it Saved My Life. If you want to get in touch with me, hit me up on Facebook or Twitter.

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