Adrian Volenik
Hi! My name’s Adrian, and I’m an introvert.
I’ve always been shy and didn’t like big crowds and social events such as weddings, big family gatherings, and similar.
On the other side, my parents are huge extroverts. They looove spending time with others and rarely spent their evenings at home. This, of course, meant I had to go everywhere with them, making my life a living hell.
Have things changed now that I’m an adult and have a kid of my own? Somewhat. I still have to go to gatherings because my wife drags me. But hey, at least I can drink alcohol now.
Okay, guys, all joking aside, there are some things people still don’t get about us introverts. So let’s jump right in and see what those things are.
1) We enjoy solitude
Extroverts and ambiverts think introverts are anti-social. Well, we’re not. We just love spending time alone.
We don’t like talking that much, and being alone without anyone around you is obviously great for that.
Interacting with others can be tiring for introverts, even if we enjoy it. So being alone for some time also helps us recharge and reflect because socializing drains our energy.
2) We’re not always serious
I look serious. I often act serious. It’s my default mode. But I am also often lighthearted and fun-loving.
Besides, introverts also have an excellent sense of humor. They just don’t use it as often as they could or should.
Many famous comedians like Steve Martin and John Belushi are/were introverted. It’s because introverts are more sensitive to their environment, i.e., notice more things around them, and can work better independently and in solitude, which writing comedy really is.
3) We’re not always quiet
While introverts may not be the most talkative in a group setting, they can be pretty expressive one-on-one or in smaller groups.
I think that’s true for most introverts. When we’re in groups of more than three or four people, we tend to shut down somewhat, even if it is our close friends we’re with.
We start to listen more and talk less. Is it because we tend to think for ourselves rather than out loud or because we hate interrupting and interjecting? I don’t really know.
4) We’re not necessarily shy
Introversion and shyness are often mistakenly combined. However, they’re distinct characteristics.
While some introverts may also be shy, it’s important to understand that introversion itself is not synonymous with shyness.
I feel like I’ve been much more shy in my youth, especially in middle and high school years.
Later, I came out of my shell and now aren’t nearly as shy. Or at all.
5) We prefer deep conversations
While some people may enjoy light-hearted banter and surface-level interactions, introverts crave more meaningful and substantial discussions.
Small talk is more challenging for introverts, but we thrive in meaningful discussions. We enjoy exploring complex ideas, sharing knowledge, and delving into thought-provoking subjects.
These deep conversations allow us to establish a stronger emotional connection with others.
By discussing personal experiences, values, beliefs, and emotions, we can develop more profound bonds and promote understanding between ourselves and our conversation partners.
6) We value close relationships
Introverts can enjoy socializing, but in moderation and with the right balance. While we may have fewer friends, we cultivate deep and meaningful connections.
Instead of having a broad social circle, we have 4-5 close friends, and that’s basically it.
That’s because close relationships provide a safe space for introverts to express their true selves and be fully accepted.
We rely on these connections to receive emotional support, encouragement, and comfort during challenging times.
Knowing we have someone we can rely on helps us go through life’s ups and downs with greater resilience.
7) Crowds can be overwhelming
I touched on this topic earlier. But let me emphasize more how much large gatherings or parties are mentally and physically draining for introverts.
Introverts are highly sensitive to many stimulants, such as loud noises, bright lights, and a constant stream of people.
Interacting with a large number of people requires social energy for introverts. We tend to expend energy more quickly in social situations, and being in a crowd can accelerate this energy drain.
The constant need to process and engage with numerous individuals can leave us mentally and emotionally exhausted.
I don’t like to mingle at parties and typically stick to whoever I arrive with. In the past, that would be my friends or family, and now it’s my wife.
8) We need time to warm up
Introverts may take a while to feel comfortable and open up in new social settings.
When we’re entering a new social setting, we take time to observe, absorb, and make sense of our surroundings and the people.
This internal processing makes us feel more prepared and comfortable when we eventually engage in conversations or interactions.
9) Public speaking can be daunting
Public speaking puts us in the spotlight, making us the focal point of attention and scrutiny.
This increased visibility can trigger anxiety and self-consciousness for introverts, who typically feel uncomfortable with the heightened level of attention.
We generally prefer to blend into the background rather than being the center of attention.
I’d say that speaking in front of a large group can be nerve-wracking for most people, not just introverts.
Introverts do find it particularly draining as it involves engaging with a large audience and projecting their voice and presence.
You may not know it, but former US President Barrack Obama is an introvert. He had to schedule regular alone time to recharge his batteries after speaking with other world leaders or giving speeches.
10) We think before we speak
Us introverts tend to process information internally before expressing our thoughts. We take the time to analyze our thoughts, consider different perspectives, and weigh the potential consequences of our words.
Taking the time to think before speaking helps us share and communicate our ideas more accurately and precisely.
It’s also why we express ourselves better in writing.
11) We express ourselves better in writing
Writing allows introverts to gather thoughts and articulate them more effectively. Extroverts are much better at thinking on their feet, while we’re better at thinking alone.
Writing is not just a creative outlet but also a way to revise and edit thoughts before sharing them with others.
The control that writing gives us over our expression allows us to feel more confident and precise in our communication.
12) Group work can be challenging
I always hate when the teacher, professor, educator, or whoever is leading a class proposes we do group work.
Yes, it can be somewhat beneficial, but it still sends shivers down my spine.
Group dynamics are complex, with varying personalities, power dynamics, and interpersonal relationships at play.
I already mentioned how introverts often require time to process information, reflect, and gather their thoughts before contributing to group discussions or making decisions.
The fast-paced nature of group work may not give us the time we need to analyze and consider various perspectives fully. This makes it difficult to feel confident in our contributions.
13) We dislike interruptions
And last on the list of things that people don’t get about introverts is that we appreciate uninterrupted time for concentration and reflection.
On the other side, we also hate interrupting others to put in a word.
But above all, interruptions disrupt concentration and make it difficult to regain the previous level of focus.
They break the momentum that introverts build while working on a task or engaging in a particular activity.
Final thoughts
I hope this article helped clarify some things about introverts. If you’re an introvert reading this, share it with your extrovert friends.
Let them know that without us, the world would be filled with talkers and would lack genuine listeners. It would also be a much, much louder place.
