10 things only self-centered people say, according to psychology

There’s a fine line between self-confidence and self-centeredness, and it often gets blurred by phrases that seem innocent but actually reveal a person’s narcissistic tendencies.

Psychology offers us a clear way to spot these traits, especially in the things self-centered people often say.

In this article, we’ll explore the things only self-centered people say, according to psychology.

Get ready—you might recognize some of these phrases from your everyday conversations!

1) “I”, “me”, and “mine”

If you’ve been around self-centered individuals, you’ll quickly notice their favorite words are “I”, “me”, and “mine”.

Psychology suggests that the excessive use of these first-person singular pronouns is a classic sign of narcissism. It’s all about their feelings, their thoughts, their accomplishments, and their life.

This “I-focused” language reveals an inward focus and a lack of consideration for others’ feelings or perspectives.

While it’s okay to talk about ourselves at times, a constant emphasis on one’s self can be a red flag.

So, if you hear more “I’s,” “me’s,” and “mine’s” than “you’s,” “us’s,” and “ours,” it might be a clue that you’re dealing with a self-centered person. 

2) “You wouldn’t understand”

There’s a phrase that self-centered people often resort to when they want to shut down a conversation or avoid explaining themselves: “You wouldn’t understand.”

I remember a friend who used to say this a lot. Every time we’d question his actions or decisions, he’d dismiss us with a wave of his hand and say, “You wouldn’t understand, it’s a ‘me’ thing.”

It was his way of establishing an invisible barrier and making himself the center of every conversation. This phrase is a tell-tale sign of self-centeredness.

It creates an ‘us vs them’ scenario, casting the speaker as the misunderstood protagonist and everyone else as the outsiders.

3) “I’m just being honest”

“Brutal honesty” often serves as a shield for self-centered individuals to hide behind while they dish out criticism or unfiltered opinions.

The phrase “I’m just being honest” is often used as an excuse to say hurtful or harsh things without considering the feelings of others.

Interestingly, psychological studies show that this kind of ‘honesty’ is often used by self-centered people as a tool to assert dominance and control, rather than as a genuine effort to be truthful and transparent. It’s a classic tactic for shifting the blame onto others, while retaining an illusion of innocence and righteousness.

4) “I don’t need anyone”

Another phrase often heard from self-centered people is “I don’t need anyone”. It’s a bold declaration that they can handle everything on their own, and it’s intended to show independence and strength.

However, according to psychology, this phrase may actually reveal a lack of emotional intelligence and an inability to form deep, meaningful relationships. It suggests an inflated ego and an unwillingness to acknowledge the interconnected nature of our lives.

We all need help sometimes, and recognizing that doesn’t make us weak – it makes us human. But for self-centered individuals, admitting they need others can feel like a blow to their self-image.

5) “Sorry, but…”

Apologies are a critical part of human interaction. They help us mend fences and maintain relationships. But for self-centered individuals, apologies can be a challenge.

You’ve probably heard a self-centered person say something like, “Sorry, but…” followed by a justification or an excuse.

This phrase might make it seem like they’re apologizing, but in reality, it’s just a way to deflect blame and avoid taking full responsibility.

Psychology tells us that a genuine apology involves acknowledging the mistake and expressing sincere regret – without any ‘buts’.

Adding justifications to an apology dilutes its sincerity and turns it into a tool for manipulation rather than a gesture of remorse.

6) “I deserve better”

Everyone has the right to expect respect and fair treatment. However, when the phrase “I deserve better” is frequently used, it could be a sign of self-centeredness.

I’ve noticed that self-centered individuals often feel they’re entitled to more than others, be it respect, rewards, or recognition.

This phrase is commonly used to express dissatisfaction when their inflated expectations aren’t met.

The belief that they’re entitled to special treatment can lead to disappointment and strained relationships.

It’s a tough cycle to break, but understanding and empathy are key in dealing with self-centered behavior.

7) “No one appreciates me”

The phrase “No one appreciates me” is often used by self-centered individuals to garner sympathy or attention.

When I was younger, I had a close friend who often used this phrase. It was always during moments when she felt she wasn’t the center of attention.

It took me a while to realize that it wasn’t about a lack of appreciation from others, but rather her constant need for validation and reassurance.

This phrase isn’t really about feeling unappreciated. It’s more about the self-centered individual’s need for constant affirmation and their inability to feel valued without external validation.

8) “I’m not self-centered”

Ironically, one of the phrases you might hear from a self-centered person is “I’m not self-centered”. It seems paradoxical, but it’s actually a common defense mechanism.

Self-centered people often have a skewed perception of themselves. They see their actions as justified and can’t comprehend how they might be perceived as self-absorbed. This denial serves to protect their ego and maintain their self-image.

Psychology tells us that acknowledging our flaws is a step towards personal growth. But for self-centered individuals, this acknowledgment can be a tough pill to swallow.

9) “It’s not my fault”

Self-centered individuals often struggle with taking responsibility for their actions. This is why the phrase “It’s not my fault” is frequently on their lips.

This phrase is a clear indicator of a lack of accountability. It’s easier for them to shift blame onto others than to accept that they might have contributed to a problem or a conflict.

This behavior is often rooted in a fear of criticism or judgement. Accepting fault might shatter their self-image, which is why they’d rather point fingers elsewhere.

10) “I know best”

Perhaps the most telling phrase of all is “I know best”. This phrase embodies the essence of self-centered behavior – the belief that their opinion or knowledge is superior to others’.

This phrase reveals a disregard for other perspectives and a resistance to learning from others. It’s a clear sign of an inflated ego and a lack of humility.

For self-centered individuals, admitting they don’t have all the answers can be a monumental challenge. And that’s perhaps the most important thing to understand about self-centered behavior.

Final thoughts 

While phrases like “I know best” or “I don’t need anyone” may seem abrasive, they reveal a struggle to maintain a certain self-image. It’s not about excusing their behavior, but understanding the motivations behind it.

Renowned psychologist Carl Rogers once said, “When I look at the world I’m pessimistic, but when I look at people, I am optimistic.”

Despite the self-centered behaviors we’ve discussed, it’s important to remember that change is possible.